Family and Friends Forum

When do the knocks stop coming

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Scooby

Member since
October 2018

13 posts

Posted Fri October 26, 2018 12:49pmReport post

I fed up of starting to move forward and then getting knocked backwards, when does this stop? Just had a visit from ofsted, they had a report that i was childminding. I haven’t been a childminder for over 10 years, it has been posted on Facebook that I was a childminder and someone obviously reported me to OFSTED, it must be someone I don’t know as anyone who knows me knows I haven’t been childminding For years.



I hate my reputation is being dragged apart as well as his as I have only ever tried to be a good person , I’m losing my job because of what he did and have lost all my friends because I have opted not to kick him out

When does it all settle down?

Edited by moderator Fri January 25, 2019 10:57pm

Maria

Member since
September 2018

286 posts

Posted Fri October 26, 2018 7:32pmReport post

Im so sorry you keep being knocked back. I feel like its the nightmare that never seems to stop but im hoping one day it will all return to calm (might be wishful thinking). Im having trouble with friends and family not understanding why im not divorcing my husband. I even feel like some are trying to say im being influenced/controlled which is rediculous. They have done a terrible thing but people dont realise they are still loved by their partners/families and they will be punchished/have been punished, why cant they move on/change/improve their life. Im terrified this situation will ruin my reputation and other people wont let us move on and rebuild our lives.

Hope

Member since
November 2018

14 posts

Posted Wed November 7, 2018 8:13amReport post

This is exactly how I'm feeling at the moment. I get myself just about on an even keel for the sake of myself and my teenage daughter and then something comes along and threatens to capsize the boat all over again.

I really want to stay in some contact with my husband and try to support his recovery, but at the same time I keep feeling I have to stress to everyone that will listen that I fully realise the utter awfulness of his crime and am completely putting my daughter first in all things.

My husband got some news about access yesterday, which lifted me a bit.

So I phoned the social worker to tell him (as he hadn't been in touch with me and I didn't know when he was coming round) and at the same time again stressed the above things and asked him for reassurance that I was doing all the right things and that he believed me.

I got really knocked back when he said it wasn't up to him to reassure me, just to do his report. I feel so awful and paranoid about saying the wrong things to him that I barely know what I'm saying any more.

So this morning I'm trying to make another fresh start and sitting here praying that nothing else will happen...

Hope

Member since
November 2018

14 posts

Posted Wed November 7, 2018 8:17amReport post

Sorry, that was awful waffly. The upshot is that I want to reach out to Scooby and Maria as they've made me feel I'm not alone in not wanting to kick my husband into touch.

I'm even afraid of writing that bit down even though I know this is confidential...