Male relatives
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Happy Mother's days to all the mums.
You are strong for your sons.
But what about the male relatives? The fathers & brothers?
How are they reacting? Where do they access support?
My husband won't talk to anyone about our son's offences. He is taking on the shame & the trashing of the family name, very hard.
Any advice?
You are strong for your sons.
But what about the male relatives? The fathers & brothers?
How are they reacting? Where do they access support?
My husband won't talk to anyone about our son's offences. He is taking on the shame & the trashing of the family name, very hard.
Any advice?
Hi EBP, I've messaged you as my husband is struggling too.
Oh EBP you touched a nerve.
My husband over time has mellowed slightly but remains very angry with our son. He is also furious how our family name has been tarnished - so understand those feelings completely..
I think the feeling of helplessness affected my husband deeply too. He could do nothing to ease my pain + other family members, all caused by my sons actions.
I have learnt so very much about this crime and how it can happen, so when my husband mentions it, I will genty pass on any information that I feel might help his understanding.
We both respect each others 'take' on our situation and don't always see eye to eye. I always try to avoid conflict as we've both suffered enough as it is..... I know he's a loving dad that has been through hell and like me misses his son and the life we had .
My husband over time has mellowed slightly but remains very angry with our son. He is also furious how our family name has been tarnished - so understand those feelings completely..
I think the feeling of helplessness affected my husband deeply too. He could do nothing to ease my pain + other family members, all caused by my sons actions.
I have learnt so very much about this crime and how it can happen, so when my husband mentions it, I will genty pass on any information that I feel might help his understanding.
We both respect each others 'take' on our situation and don't always see eye to eye. I always try to avoid conflict as we've both suffered enough as it is..... I know he's a loving dad that has been through hell and like me misses his son and the life we had .
Hi,
Us men are not very good at explaining emotions.
I only spoke to samaritans right when I get the first call from his partner. I have not spoke to anyone else since.
I don't feel the same inside prior to this happening, I can't explain it. The anger, shame, blaming myself and the real hard bit, telling other family members of what my son had done. My emotions have been everywhere, I have never cried so much (hard to admit also). It's been such a nightmare, also dismissal for a time, hoping it was a mistake or nothing too serious.
I still don't know how I feel, just don't feel right inside, sad most of the time to be honest.
Thankyou all for your support x
Us men are not very good at explaining emotions.
I only spoke to samaritans right when I get the first call from his partner. I have not spoke to anyone else since.
I don't feel the same inside prior to this happening, I can't explain it. The anger, shame, blaming myself and the real hard bit, telling other family members of what my son had done. My emotions have been everywhere, I have never cried so much (hard to admit also). It's been such a nightmare, also dismissal for a time, hoping it was a mistake or nothing too serious.
I still don't know how I feel, just don't feel right inside, sad most of the time to be honest.
Thankyou all for your support x
Dad 005
Please speak to someone. Well done fo reaching out to Samaritans.
The helpline at LFF is manned by all sorts of volunteers & you can request to speak to a man.
Good luck!
Please speak to someone. Well done fo reaching out to Samaritans.
The helpline at LFF is manned by all sorts of volunteers & you can request to speak to a man.
Good luck!
Hiya.
When my other half was caught and charged nearly 2 years ago his brother called him all the names under the sun , and I mean everything.
Since then thou things have mellowed a lot. We have been over to his for a family Xmas , but he has a holiday place in Spain but due to restrictions won't be going. He messages once a week and we are happy with that.
When my other half was caught and charged nearly 2 years ago his brother called him all the names under the sun , and I mean everything.
Since then thou things have mellowed a lot. We have been over to his for a family Xmas , but he has a holiday place in Spain but due to restrictions won't be going. He messages once a week and we are happy with that.
Hi, EBP
I know I should, its something I keep putting off. I didn't find the samaritans much help to be honest as they only listen. I don't know why I prefer to speak to a women.
The real hard bit is to admit what my son had done to people, I don't mind admitting it, that's watch usually sets me off x.
I know I should, its something I keep putting off. I didn't find the samaritans much help to be honest as they only listen. I don't know why I prefer to speak to a women.
The real hard bit is to admit what my son had done to people, I don't mind admitting it, that's watch usually sets me off x.
Hi Dad, I'm also here because of my son and my husband also found it very difficult to admit what his son had done. He chose not to reach out to the helpline or tell his family. He did confide in a close friend though and that friend has been a great support. You've taken a big step by sharing your experience with us and we'll continue to be there to support you.
Hi Ocean,
I have a brother who I speak to on the phone but it may be hard for him to understand as he's not the parent.
I like this forum as there are parents going through a very simular journey to mine.
I am very grateful for the messages I have received from people like yourself. I am also grateful for the support. As for talking to helplines, I don't know it's a thing that I will find helpful. I know I could do with some help, I just don't know what lol x
I have a brother who I speak to on the phone but it may be hard for him to understand as he's not the parent.
I like this forum as there are parents going through a very simular journey to mine.
I am very grateful for the messages I have received from people like yourself. I am also grateful for the support. As for talking to helplines, I don't know it's a thing that I will find helpful. I know I could do with some help, I just don't know what lol x
The StopSO helpline are experts in this area. We can be totally honest & they will not be judgemental. Sadly,whatever we think is really bad,they have probably heard worse. They will be able to point you in the direction of the most relevant support.
Please keep looking at the forum,it really helps to feel less alone.
Please keep looking at the forum,it really helps to feel less alone.
Hi, the wider impact of this terrible and distressing situation, and every day increasing numbers of people suffer the reverbarations. It's a very complex path to navigate, but the routes to offending are increasingly well recognised.
As well as LFF, some of the following may be able to provide helpful support and guidance.
Acts Fast: support for families of children who have experienced or been impacted by child sexual abuse or assault. Advice, support and trauma counselling for adults who have accessed IIOC and their families.
Andysmanclub: free support groups for me across the UK and online. Aim to end the stigma surrounding men’s mental health and help men through the power of conversation.
Barnado’s: helping children and families feel safer, happier, healthier and more hopeful. Specific support for children with a parent in prison.
Children Heard and Seen: support for children with a parent in prison and their families.
Circles UK: focussed on reducing sex offending in partnership with criminal justice agencies. Customised restorative work to address harmful sexual behaviour. Specialist support for those with intellectual disabilities and/or autism spectrum conditions. Risk and safeguarding courses for families, and specialist therapy and counselling.
SAA: a programme and safe place to address and heal from sex addiction and harmful sexual behaviours.
Safer Lives: specialist and individual support, advice and guidance, focussed on welfare and mental strength and wellbeing for offenders and their families. Therapeutic, practical and educational expertise.
StopSO: specialist support and therapy for those concerned about their thoughts or behaviour, and for those impacted by the behaviour of others.
Talking Forward: facilitated peer support for people impacted by a family member or friend who has engaged with online CSA. Part of a group committed to research into and understanding of online offending.
As well as LFF, some of the following may be able to provide helpful support and guidance.
Acts Fast: support for families of children who have experienced or been impacted by child sexual abuse or assault. Advice, support and trauma counselling for adults who have accessed IIOC and their families.
Andysmanclub: free support groups for me across the UK and online. Aim to end the stigma surrounding men’s mental health and help men through the power of conversation.
Barnado’s: helping children and families feel safer, happier, healthier and more hopeful. Specific support for children with a parent in prison.
Children Heard and Seen: support for children with a parent in prison and their families.
Circles UK: focussed on reducing sex offending in partnership with criminal justice agencies. Customised restorative work to address harmful sexual behaviour. Specialist support for those with intellectual disabilities and/or autism spectrum conditions. Risk and safeguarding courses for families, and specialist therapy and counselling.
SAA: a programme and safe place to address and heal from sex addiction and harmful sexual behaviours.
Safer Lives: specialist and individual support, advice and guidance, focussed on welfare and mental strength and wellbeing for offenders and their families. Therapeutic, practical and educational expertise.
StopSO: specialist support and therapy for those concerned about their thoughts or behaviour, and for those impacted by the behaviour of others.
Talking Forward: facilitated peer support for people impacted by a family member or friend who has engaged with online CSA. Part of a group committed to research into and understanding of online offending.