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Will I ever know the truth?

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Summer

Member since
July 2019

394 posts

Posted Sun September 8, 2019 9:58pmReport post

So like so many of you lovley ladies I am waiting in this limbo, I have heard my children’s fathers version of what has been going on and know the charge, that being of an online communication offence. My question is will I ever be given the full information? Such as transcript of conversation? Would the solicitor have a copy of this if so would they release it? I’m trying to get in and move forward just a little, the trust is broken at present, if things tally up it may go some way to either reassure me or not. Does anyone have any experience of this? How do you move on? Sometimes there is love sometimes civil other days I hate him soo much and can’t see a future together.

snowdrop

Member since
September 2019

178 posts

Posted Sun September 8, 2019 11:00pmReport post

Hi Summer

Following the arrest of my husband I too wanted to know if he had told me the truth.

I was given the opportunity of sitting with his solicitor (without my husband being present) and was able to hear and read what the police had found during there forensic examinations of numerous devices. Everything matched what he had told me... Four movie clips... no prebubiscent children... but teenagers... no adults.

Its still horrific what he has done... they are still victims.. But it was a relief to be able to ask questions without his presence in the room and this helped with my decisions for our future...

I hope I have helped.. Please don't worry about contacting his solicitor and asking for a one to one meeting... Best wishes

Summer

Member since
July 2019

394 posts

Posted Sun September 8, 2019 11:19pmReport post

Thank you for your reply snowdrop, we are still waiting to hear if/what the charges will be. Aside from the illegal part of this, he obviously has been having conversations with others online and not just hi how are you! I feel betrayed about this and need to try and deal also with the issue that I feel I’ve been cheated on. Thank you again as I didn’t know this was an option.

mjl73

Member since
August 2019

240 posts

Posted Fri September 13, 2019 12:47pmReport post

The solictor and barrister both had copies of the online communication that my husband was convicted for. Whether or not you can read it probably comes down to a data protection issue, you might need your husbands permission. My husband was honest with me about everything immediately, and although I haven't actually read the transcripts I went to the court on both occasions and what the barristers said matches his side of the story. I was very upfront and said to him that I was going to court if we had any chance of staying together as the trust needed to be rebuilt and that was my way of ensuring that nothing else was being hidden.

I still haven't quite dealt with the feeling that I was cheated on. We did have a very long conversation as to why he did it which at least helped me to understand. Have you considered couples counselling? Might help address some of the feelings you currently have with feeling betrayed.

Summer

Member since
July 2019

394 posts

Posted Mon September 16, 2019 8:38pmReport post

Thanks for your reply mjl73, the transcript of the conversation is something I will want to get a hold of at some point just because I like to know everything and I will know how what’s said is meant if it is how he says.

I have told him that we will need to go to counciling to ensure we are on the same page moving forward with life, he says he will do whatever. I feel he has been cheating but he says it was just taking to randoms to pass the time. I don’t know wether to start this now or wait until I know what he’s charged with as no point doing it if he’s been lying about it and it’s worse than what he’s said but we could be waiting ages before we know what the charges are.

Xx