Family blues
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Hi, I haven't been on for a long while, mostly as I get too upset, relive it and I'm trying so hard to move on. Partner 18 months post sentencing for iioc.
today is a down day.
I just struggle so much with the way 'family' treat me. I totally understand if they want nothing to do with him, but I haven't done anything wrong.
The kids and I have not been invited to things, family gatherings, parties, days out. I have said so many times that we would go without partner and we understand him not being invited.
Some vowed to support all of us then as time went on have backed off and cut me and the kids out too.
One family member and their kids have been around all of us, shook hands with partner, treated him as normal and was supportive. Now a year on doesn't want anything to do with us but I've found the change in opinion hard. Like why now when nothings changed?
id like to think if something like this happened to someone i knew, I would always be there for the partner and children, they are the innocent people trying to do their best.
today is a down day.
I just struggle so much with the way 'family' treat me. I totally understand if they want nothing to do with him, but I haven't done anything wrong.
The kids and I have not been invited to things, family gatherings, parties, days out. I have said so many times that we would go without partner and we understand him not being invited.
Some vowed to support all of us then as time went on have backed off and cut me and the kids out too.
One family member and their kids have been around all of us, shook hands with partner, treated him as normal and was supportive. Now a year on doesn't want anything to do with us but I've found the change in opinion hard. Like why now when nothings changed?
id like to think if something like this happened to someone i knew, I would always be there for the partner and children, they are the innocent people trying to do their best.
This must be so hard, sometimes I think that the real reason is not 'your person' at all, it's actually the stimga around these crimes and what outsiders think. In the end it is the immediate family that suffer the most for something that they haven't done. I dont know what advice I can give you, but I know how you are feeling, it isn't fair that you are made to feel this way and be treated like this. X
Jayjay
I am.so sorry I can only imagine how difficult this is for you and your OH but specially your children x
We cannot control how people react but it hurts like hell, its particularly even more painful
Some days are bearable but days like today just make it even harder
I dont have any advice but just wanted to let you know we are here if you need us xx
I am.so sorry I can only imagine how difficult this is for you and your OH but specially your children x
We cannot control how people react but it hurts like hell, its particularly even more painful
Some days are bearable but days like today just make it even harder
I dont have any advice but just wanted to let you know we are here if you need us xx
I'm so sorry you find yourself affected by other people's actions.
I knew if I stayed I would affect my relationship with family and friends - including my adult sons. I thought his offending would never go away - that I would always be waiting for it to come back and bite me.
I couldn't bear the thought of being kept on the sidelines of my children's lives. What would happen when they had children etc?
I chose to leave. I have nothing wrong. Those that chose to cut me off mean nothing to me. I have the important people in my life and somehow I will get through this and forget a life on my own.
I knew if I stayed I would affect my relationship with family and friends - including my adult sons. I thought his offending would never go away - that I would always be waiting for it to come back and bite me.
I couldn't bear the thought of being kept on the sidelines of my children's lives. What would happen when they had children etc?
I chose to leave. I have nothing wrong. Those that chose to cut me off mean nothing to me. I have the important people in my life and somehow I will get through this and forget a life on my own.
Hi Jayjay
I went thought this last year, my family have never ask about H. But has per usual theres always a gossip who stirres the pot, I have no idea what they said and no intention of knowing. I lost siblings who haven't spoken to me, had partys, weddings etc where myself or grown children have not been invited. The same with you my H wouldn't go anyway. My H family have been supportive and we have been involved with some of them. I decided for my own mental health to block and delete them from phone, WhatsApp, Instagram. I don't do any other social. I miss them, but it's my choice and I already lost alot, I don't need any more heartache.
Sending you a virtual hug
Xx
I went thought this last year, my family have never ask about H. But has per usual theres always a gossip who stirres the pot, I have no idea what they said and no intention of knowing. I lost siblings who haven't spoken to me, had partys, weddings etc where myself or grown children have not been invited. The same with you my H wouldn't go anyway. My H family have been supportive and we have been involved with some of them. I decided for my own mental health to block and delete them from phone, WhatsApp, Instagram. I don't do any other social. I miss them, but it's my choice and I already lost alot, I don't need any more heartache.
Sending you a virtual hug
Xx