When the end isn’t the end
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As you may gather from my user name when my husband was sentenced I thought my life was over. I couldn't see beyond the absolutely unbearable pain I felt when he was handed a custodial sentence. It wasn't recommended by prosecution or defence but on the day decided by the judge. I was floored. Two weeks into his sentence my otherwise healthy, athletic and fit husband suffered a heart attack. I learned of this 'after' he underwent surgery. Yet more anguish to face. This forum and its users saved my life. They offered support when I couldn't breathe. They understood, empathised and cared. I will be eternally grateful for each and every one of you.
We are now approaching the final months of his prison sentence, he is in open conditions and in good health. We were focussed on his release and him coming home, niavely seeing this as the end when in fact it seems like the start of a whole new sentence. It's only just beginning to sink in that Probation will now be in our lives for the same duration that he has been in custody. He has to go to AP on release. I spoke to his PO today and they explained that AP should be seen as a positive step as they can offer support in many areas. I guess I've had my head somewhat buried in the sand thinking my family could start putting our lives back together when he was released. I know this is temporary, I know I am strong, I know it will pass but today feels a lot x
We are now approaching the final months of his prison sentence, he is in open conditions and in good health. We were focussed on his release and him coming home, niavely seeing this as the end when in fact it seems like the start of a whole new sentence. It's only just beginning to sink in that Probation will now be in our lives for the same duration that he has been in custody. He has to go to AP on release. I spoke to his PO today and they explained that AP should be seen as a positive step as they can offer support in many areas. I guess I've had my head somewhat buried in the sand thinking my family could start putting our lives back together when he was released. I know this is temporary, I know I am strong, I know it will pass but today feels a lot x
I didn't want to not respond and I wanted to send you a virtual hug.
I have no wisdom to share but I do so hope that the next few months prove positive for you and OH xxx
I have no wisdom to share but I do so hope that the next few months prove positive for you and OH xxx
Keep taking all the support and focussing on moving forward together one step at a time. Be extra kind to yourself.
Hi,
it's another step towards your future. I don't have anything practical to offer in terms of the process or what the accommodation will offer but you have support here so keep reaching out.
I have found it helps to deal with one thing at a time, it's less stressful and ultimately doesn't impact on anything outside of our control.
If you have access to any talking therapy with work or otherwise this could be beneficial for you xxx
it's another step towards your future. I don't have anything practical to offer in terms of the process or what the accommodation will offer but you have support here so keep reaching out.
I have found it helps to deal with one thing at a time, it's less stressful and ultimately doesn't impact on anything outside of our control.
If you have access to any talking therapy with work or otherwise this could be beneficial for you xxx
I remember this feeling, we'd worked so hard to make sure he had somewhere to live and meaningful activity upon release, but probation wanted him to go to a hostel. Whilst I do think he'd have been better off coming straight home and the hostel seemed to offer very little in terms of support, it wasn't as bad as we expected. Like with the sentence, we learned to cope, found ways to make it work for us and enjoyed what we could do and the time we could have together - But he was out the door not a minute after he was free to leave.
It was whilst in there is was put in contact with one of the external / third party organisations focused on getting people into work, through this he does have support to start his own company and is aware of some funding he can get to support him retraining. It'd be more helpful if he was allowed to use the Internet to research different business ideas and trades... Gosh the ridiculousness of some of the systems and waste of resources makes me angry.
I hope the last couple of months and the hostel stay goes fast. It's the next step and one step closer to being together.
It was whilst in there is was put in contact with one of the external / third party organisations focused on getting people into work, through this he does have support to start his own company and is aware of some funding he can get to support him retraining. It'd be more helpful if he was allowed to use the Internet to research different business ideas and trades... Gosh the ridiculousness of some of the systems and waste of resources makes me angry.
I hope the last couple of months and the hostel stay goes fast. It's the next step and one step closer to being together.
What a journey this Is for lots of us, the path isn't straight for sure, so many side streets and sometime even dead ends but we return to the path every time, my thoughts and best wishes are with you please seek the strength from wherever you need x
Life x
So pleased to hear from you it's been a while, I remember when your hubby had his scare and how frightening it was for you to be told afterwards, look how far you have come you should be so incredibly proud of yourself, the road ahead will have some bumps to navigate around & through but you will see the sunshine back in your lives as you learn to live a new normal life, Hubby is doing well in himself which is fantastic
One step at a time, one day at a time and remember you both deserve to have happiness xx
So pleased to hear from you it's been a while, I remember when your hubby had his scare and how frightening it was for you to be told afterwards, look how far you have come you should be so incredibly proud of yourself, the road ahead will have some bumps to navigate around & through but you will see the sunshine back in your lives as you learn to live a new normal life, Hubby is doing well in himself which is fantastic
One step at a time, one day at a time and remember you both deserve to have happiness xx
Thank you all as always x