Family and Friends Forum

Devils06

Member since
June 2023

29 posts

Posted Tue March 12, 2024 6:10pmReport post

Hi,

I've only ever posted once and then just read people's stories wishing things could be different for us all.

Oh got a call from OIC this saying he is being charged with 3 counts of cats, a,b,c 11 pics in totally.

My children are on cin plan and partner is still at home with us,me supervising him with the children.

Oh has borderline personalty disorder and was sexual abused as a child (the reason he looked on site to see if he could find imagines of him and his sister) this isn't me minimising what he has done but his reason for what he's done, I've been angry upset worried like us all I'm sure.

I'm just wondering I know every outcome is different but can anyone give any sentencing outcomes that they have gone though please.

Many thanks

Xxxx

Inturmoil1974

Member since
November 2022

279 posts

Posted Tue March 12, 2024 8:06pmReport post

We were 5 images 2 cat a 3 cat b there was nothing from ss apart from a quick chat with out 13 year old daughter, we had an independent report done to prove he never searched and literally clicked on a link of numbers on kik, I needed to know it was never searched for my own piece of mind, his sentence was 1 year supervision 1 year on register and community pay back order

Devils06

Member since
June 2023

29 posts

Posted Tue March 12, 2024 8:16pmReport post

Thank you for your reply.

He did search to see if he could find himself and his sister, he said what he saw made him sick and he only went on once which by how many pictures I believe. He going through therapy because he was physically and emotionally abused as a child as well which he never dealt with.

I'm not minimising what he has done and I've cried been angry with him, everything he is doing is making him into a better person and this has made us stronger in a weird way.

I'm just scared now that ss or even a judge could take him away from our boys who think their dad is their superhero and look up to him and I lose my family.

The job that I did do before all of this gave me the advantage of safeguarding my own children because of the course I've done but I know sometimes it doesn't matter.

Sorry for venting

Xxxx

Inturmoil1974

Member since
November 2022

279 posts

Posted Tue March 12, 2024 8:41pmReport post

My oh also had issues in his childhood which was never dealt with he is also going through therapy, life is so hard the now every day you just get through it.

Devils06

Member since
June 2023

29 posts

Posted Tue March 12, 2024 9:11pmReport post

It really is hard, I've done alot of research and men find it hard to talk about this which causes so many problems later on in life.

I'm glad your Oh is getting the help he needs, it's difficult to see them so vulnerable.xx

Anxious mummy

Member since
February 2023

99 posts

Posted Tue March 12, 2024 11:05pmReport post

My OH had similar charges. Same categories but around 90 images in total. He didnt share/distribute images but he was on some horrible fantasy sharing Kik groups. He got a suspended sentence, community service and SHPO. It didnt hit the media. I found sentencing very stressful but I think it helped that my OH had already done some work to understand his behaviours. So the Lucy Faithful course, therapy and attending SLA meetings. He also pleaded guilty. The prisons are fit to bursting and I think they would rather rehabilitate offenders in the community. My OH had a defence lawyer and I got advice from another and they both said a prison sentence was unlikely. Good luck. I know how hideous the wait is x

Devils06

Member since
June 2023

29 posts

Posted Tue March 12, 2024 11:13pmReport post

Please can I private message you?xx

Inthemoment

Member since
February 2023

358 posts

Posted Wed March 13, 2024 8:54amReport post

Fewer than 10 pics for us across cat a and b, but they had been intentionally searched for and he admitted he had viewed more than they found.

It was historic (several years prior to arrest). No evidence he'd searched for anything since before our toddler was conceived.

3 year community order, iHorizon programme, rehab days, community payback, 5 years registration. We avoided a SHPO (unusual)

Chelsea 1

Member since
June 2021

891 posts

Posted Wed March 13, 2024 10:35amReport post

Hiya.



So hubby got charged with 48 pics but got reduced to 23 due to they couldn't make out some of the pictures. He got a community order , 5 years on SHPO and SOR. He finishes his probation in July I think. No media and check Google every month just in case.



Been nearly 2 years and life is just going along.



xx

AlwaysHopeful

Member since
March 2023

133 posts

Posted Wed March 13, 2024 12:57pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Fri May 24, 2024 8:10pm

Devils06

Member since
June 2023

29 posts

Posted Wed March 13, 2024 2:01pmReport post

Thank you all for your messages, Were your Oh allowed to stay in the home with their Shpo? If you have children. I think that's what I'm scared off. I completely understand everyone wants their privacy so I do apologise for my question. Very scared worried lady.

Xx