Family and Friends Forum

Saffy

Member since
March 2024

4 posts

Posted Wed March 13, 2024 5:42pmReport post

Hi, this is my first post. My son was arrested today. I'm feeling in shock. Although I know this will only be the start of the journey from reading the posts on here. That's probably all I can say at the moment but thank you all for being here and sharing. It's awful isn't it.

Edited Thu March 14, 2024 8:19am

EBP

Member since
September 2021

198 posts

Posted Wed March 13, 2024 6:08pmReport post

So sorry to hear that you have to join us on this horrible journey. There are other mothers (& a father) on this forum. We feel for you .

I would definitely advise you to phone the helpline. It helps to talk to someone who is not involved but can advise.

InTatters

Member since
June 2022

175 posts

Posted Wed March 13, 2024 7:32pmReport post

Hi, and I am full of admiration for you connecting to this site so quickly. You will find lots of understaning, empathy, support and sources of information here. Everyone's story is slightly different, but we are all connected by this surreal and shocking journey. It will get better, but it will take time. This isn't the defining factor in your son's life, and it's a good thing that he will address his behaviour.

This type of offending is growing exponetially, and engaging in this activity doesn't mean your son is the 'P' word - the pathways to offending can vary. You will find out at some point whether he was talking to a police decoy - it's a very common scenario (but makes no difference in the eyes of the law).

Over time, you and your son may find it helpful to explore some of the following (as well as this forum and LFF resources). He and you are not alone, and there is a great deal of understanding, support, guidance and advice available.

We will get through this!

Acts Fast: support for families of children who have experienced or been impacted by child sexual abuse or assault. Advice, support and trauma counselling for adults who have accessed IIOC and their families.

Andysmanclub: free support groups for men across the UK and online. Aim to end the stigma surrounding men’s mental health and help men through the power of conversation.

Circles UK: focussed on reducing sex offending in partnership with criminal justice agencies. Customised restorative work to address harmful sexual behaviour. Specialist support for those with intellectual disabilities and/or autism spectrum conditions. Risk and safeguarding courses for families, and specialist therapy and counselling.

SAA: a programme and safe place to address and heal from sex addiction and harmful sexual behaviours.

Safer Lives: specialist and individual support, advice and guidance, focussed on welfare and mental strength and wellbeing for offenders and their families. Therapeutic, practical and educational expertise.

StopSO: specialist support and therapy for those concerned about their thoughts or behaviour, and for those impacted by the behaviour of others.

Talking Forward: facilitated peer support for people impacted by a family member or friend who has engaged with online CSA. Part of a group committed to research into and understanding of online offending.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Wed March 13, 2024 8:27pmReport post

Saffy

I am.so very sorry you have found yourself here x

InTatters has given some really useful contacts in her reply so honestly reach out to them

How is your son?

We all completely understand how you are feeling, so please reach out to us we are here to offer support and advice but more importantly each and everyone of us really can be there for you so just know you are not alone

Sending hugs and strength xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2555 posts

Posted Wed March 13, 2024 8:28pmReport post

Not a lot to offer at this point except well done for posting - it takes a lot of guts. The people on this forum are with you all the way, full of non judgmental understanding and support. X

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

772 posts

Posted Wed March 13, 2024 8:31pmReport post

Hi Saffy, I'm sorry you find yourself here but well done on reaching out. I'm a mum too and am here because of my son so my heart goes out to you as I know how painful this experience is.
I can see that InTatters has posted a really helpful list of places you can find support from. I would also encourage you both to reach out to your GP if you feel you need help in getting through the next few days and weeks.
You're not alone, we're here for you and will help you get through this.

Saffy

Member since
March 2024

4 posts

Posted Thu March 14, 2024 6:21amReport post

Thank you all for your kind comments, it helps to know we're not alone in this. I've rung the helpline a couple of times and my son has too. I'm trying to take one day at a time. X

Dad005

Member since
March 2024

49 posts

Posted Thu March 14, 2024 3:21pmReport post

Hi saffy,

Glad you found this forum. I am also here because of my son, we are at the court stages now.

I wish I had found it earlier. Take the advice from the others, get yourself some help and your son. There is an amazing amount of support and help on here, an amazing group of people.

Take care