Telling my child
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i got a call this morning explaining my little girls dad has been arrested for distributing iioc he is no longer allowed unsupervised contact with our child and honestly I'm not sure I want him to have any contact with our child after hearing this news, we are not together and haven't been for years so she only saw him a couple of days a week but how do I explain to her what is going on in a age appropriate way or does anybody know of any links or anything that might help , She has always been very close to him and I'm worried of the impact this is going to have on her and her not understanding why she is no longer able to go out on her own with her dad if at all , tia
I am so sorry you find yourself in this position. It may be a good idea to speak to the helpline as they would have come across this a lot and would be able to gice you good advise on how to deal with this. I am also thinking maybe the charity Young Minds may also be able to help you too with suggestions on this.
Remember, you are processing this as well so you probably are still in shock. Thinking of you and your daughter. I hope you receive some responses from other members on the forum.
Take care.
Remember, you are processing this as well so you probably are still in shock. Thinking of you and your daughter. I hope you receive some responses from other members on the forum.
Take care.
Hi,
I'm sorry that you've found yourself here. Something that is worth pointing out is that distribution can mean that the images were uploaded onto the cloud or something similar rather than sent them on to others. The charge will be the same although the intent is different.
Is there anyone in his family who you would trust and would be willing to supervise contact? It may be an option to consider.
In terms of explaining to your daughter you could start to explain it by saying that daddy broke the internet safety rules if she has an understanding of these and while he's learning about them and how to keep himself and others safe he isn't allowed to be alone with her so (insert responsible adult name) will be going out with them.
Talking to her about privacy and maybe working through pants work by nspcc might be helpful depending on her age just to open up the conversation and find out if anything has made her feel uncomfortable xx
I'm sorry that you've found yourself here. Something that is worth pointing out is that distribution can mean that the images were uploaded onto the cloud or something similar rather than sent them on to others. The charge will be the same although the intent is different.
Is there anyone in his family who you would trust and would be willing to supervise contact? It may be an option to consider.
In terms of explaining to your daughter you could start to explain it by saying that daddy broke the internet safety rules if she has an understanding of these and while he's learning about them and how to keep himself and others safe he isn't allowed to be alone with her so (insert responsible adult name) will be going out with them.
Talking to her about privacy and maybe working through pants work by nspcc might be helpful depending on her age just to open up the conversation and find out if anything has made her feel uncomfortable xx
Hi, how old is your daughter?
I had to tell my son 9 who is pretty mature, but initially said we had just split up whilst I processed everything and was in a better place to try answer some questions. That came several weeks later when I felt stronger to answer.
You don't need an answer straight away. Take time to process, there is no right or wrong answer.
I told my 9 year old whilst we were on the PC, chatting about online safety that daddy had not been safe online and look at some inappropriate things (swearing, rude etc). That the police will decide how naughty it was an a punishment (like a ££ fine not prison as so unlikely) but the police were to keep everyone safe.
I feel he is too young atm for the specific reason. When it goes to court he will be older possibly about 11 and I will decide then how much more to divulge.
I also informed school who have been great, they have a nurture lead who checks in on my son and is kept up to date of how he is feeling about dad leaving. (ss rang and informed school anyway) they will be able to support him long term as things go up and down and change.
I am happy to private message as I'm a little further on a few months post knock. And will check on the replies here.
You're doing amazing.
I had to tell my son 9 who is pretty mature, but initially said we had just split up whilst I processed everything and was in a better place to try answer some questions. That came several weeks later when I felt stronger to answer.
You don't need an answer straight away. Take time to process, there is no right or wrong answer.
I told my 9 year old whilst we were on the PC, chatting about online safety that daddy had not been safe online and look at some inappropriate things (swearing, rude etc). That the police will decide how naughty it was an a punishment (like a ££ fine not prison as so unlikely) but the police were to keep everyone safe.
I feel he is too young atm for the specific reason. When it goes to court he will be older possibly about 11 and I will decide then how much more to divulge.
I also informed school who have been great, they have a nurture lead who checks in on my son and is kept up to date of how he is feeling about dad leaving. (ss rang and informed school anyway) they will be able to support him long term as things go up and down and change.
I am happy to private message as I'm a little further on a few months post knock. And will check on the replies here.
You're doing amazing.