What is happening?!?!
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hi,
First Post... never been in this situation before, have no clue what's going on and everything is just a blur, since Thursday I have been reading the posts on this forum...and it's making me more anxious.
I suppose I'd best give some information.
Wednesday morning, we had a knock on the door... 2 plain clothed dcs wanting to speak to us in regards to our son (14yr old)
Apparently in September, Snapchat alerted the unit about an indecent image that my son had sent.. shock 2 fold, as we never allowed him Snapchat and 2 the reason they were there.
They have confiscated his phone, and are conducting searches off it, they said it could be back the next say, but if more searches were required in 3 months.
He wasn't arrested or cautioned, if anything they were gentle with him an spoke about the possibility of him being abused..
They left information and contact details
2hrs later we had a phone call, they had found images if himself and the phone was being sent off for further examination. He had also hidden apps, duckduckgo, discord and something else
Then thats it... nothing else. No other information of what's happening next, no advise for us, nothing
I have called the stopitnow team, but without more information they feel they can't advise, we just feel so lost and devastated
He is in support classes at school, he is register sen but no assessment, more for behavioural as he has outbursts of anger (currently on a 3 day suspension for swearing at teachers) he struggles in school but is generally a bright kid.
He's just so young, he's still a baby to us.
Reading the forum, I'm not to trust the police as they are just after a conviction..but she seemed so supportive and nice.
What do we do? Where do we turn.
We love him and we repeatedly tell him we love him, no matter what happens, but his life could be in tatters. He has admitted to looking at porn, but won't say what.
Over recent months we have the questioning of his sexualtiy and we have had him questioning his gender. He is currently under cahms for group support and cahms 121 for his behaviour, but as its confidential we don't get any feedback
We alternate between trying to keep things positive and tears both me an oh work full time mine being awkward shifts.
He has no hobbies outside of his xbox and phone, so soon we will be getting 'I'm bored'
The dc did stress they try not to prosecut children, but again.. I guess that goes on what they find.
First Post... never been in this situation before, have no clue what's going on and everything is just a blur, since Thursday I have been reading the posts on this forum...and it's making me more anxious.
I suppose I'd best give some information.
Wednesday morning, we had a knock on the door... 2 plain clothed dcs wanting to speak to us in regards to our son (14yr old)
Apparently in September, Snapchat alerted the unit about an indecent image that my son had sent.. shock 2 fold, as we never allowed him Snapchat and 2 the reason they were there.
They have confiscated his phone, and are conducting searches off it, they said it could be back the next say, but if more searches were required in 3 months.
He wasn't arrested or cautioned, if anything they were gentle with him an spoke about the possibility of him being abused..
They left information and contact details
2hrs later we had a phone call, they had found images if himself and the phone was being sent off for further examination. He had also hidden apps, duckduckgo, discord and something else
Then thats it... nothing else. No other information of what's happening next, no advise for us, nothing
I have called the stopitnow team, but without more information they feel they can't advise, we just feel so lost and devastated
He is in support classes at school, he is register sen but no assessment, more for behavioural as he has outbursts of anger (currently on a 3 day suspension for swearing at teachers) he struggles in school but is generally a bright kid.
He's just so young, he's still a baby to us.
Reading the forum, I'm not to trust the police as they are just after a conviction..but she seemed so supportive and nice.
What do we do? Where do we turn.
We love him and we repeatedly tell him we love him, no matter what happens, but his life could be in tatters. He has admitted to looking at porn, but won't say what.
Over recent months we have the questioning of his sexualtiy and we have had him questioning his gender. He is currently under cahms for group support and cahms 121 for his behaviour, but as its confidential we don't get any feedback
We alternate between trying to keep things positive and tears both me an oh work full time mine being awkward shifts.
He has no hobbies outside of his xbox and phone, so soon we will be getting 'I'm bored'
The dc did stress they try not to prosecut children, but again.. I guess that goes on what they find.
First off sorry for what your going through and your son , it sounds like maybe your son had sent images of himself to someone else ? maybe they have been alerted as he's still a child to discover it's actually him himself and maybe investigating to see whom he's sent them too??
the Internet is such a dangerous place I hope it is resolved soon for you but you've taken the right steps for support have u appointed a solicitor maybe find out more of what's going on?
the Internet is such a dangerous place I hope it is resolved soon for you but you've taken the right steps for support have u appointed a solicitor maybe find out more of what's going on?
I am so sorry that you find yourself here and it is such early days for you and your son in this process. Did the helpline tell you about the Young Person's Inform Course your son could do with a trained practitioner? This would be very good for him to consider as it will help him understand why this has all happened and make him very aware of the dangers of the internet and the law around it. They have helped many young people with the course and work with the young person on a one to one basis.
This guide that Stop it Now produce for parents may be useful to you . the link is www.stopitnow.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LFF-ELEC-Resource-Pack-for-Parents_MAY21-1.pdf
Please take care of yourself and thinking of you and your son.
This guide that Stop it Now produce for parents may be useful to you . the link is www.stopitnow.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LFF-ELEC-Resource-Pack-for-Parents_MAY21-1.pdf
Please take care of yourself and thinking of you and your son.
Sorry, I feel I have mislead people.
Firstly, thank you all for your kind responses.
it wasn't an image of himself that he had sent, the police didn't tell me what the image was, but they did say it wasn't of himself.
After doing a brief search of his phone, they then sent it off to be tested further.
Son is refusing to comment on what he's been looking at, is adamant he hadn't sent pictures of himself. We are beside ourselves.
I don't know what to think... but ultimately, ours minds will go to the worse case scenario.
Firstly, thank you all for your kind responses.
it wasn't an image of himself that he had sent, the police didn't tell me what the image was, but they did say it wasn't of himself.
After doing a brief search of his phone, they then sent it off to be tested further.
Son is refusing to comment on what he's been looking at, is adamant he hadn't sent pictures of himself. We are beside ourselves.
I don't know what to think... but ultimately, ours minds will go to the worse case scenario.
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@liferuined23
No, they meant hidden as in my son had hidden them off screen so when we checked his phone, we wouldn't have seen them. Much like he did with Snapchat.
I feel this goes against him, as he knew what he was doing was wrong to actively hide it. But we had found porn on his phone previously and we thi k that's why he was hiding his interent usage
I'm sorry if this is coming across all jumbled. Just confusing times
No, they meant hidden as in my son had hidden them off screen so when we checked his phone, we wouldn't have seen them. Much like he did with Snapchat.
I feel this goes against him, as he knew what he was doing was wrong to actively hide it. But we had found porn on his phone previously and we thi k that's why he was hiding his interent usage
I'm sorry if this is coming across all jumbled. Just confusing times
Justdon'tknow - please don't worry about being all over the place with your posts. Nobody here will think you're deceiving us as we all know the turmoil our minds are in during those early days.
Re the police - I'm one of those who has learnt not to trust them but there must be decent officers who treat our people fairly and honestly and I hope it's even more the case with young people like your son. I'm not trying to make it sound better than it is, all I'd say is be cautious around them even if they sound like your new friend and double check anything they tell you before you believe it as fact. That is why this forum is such a godsend (eg the post about duckduckgo as you might not have known that.)
Sending you a big hug - my son is much older than yours but a mum is a mum regardless of her children's ages. Hope your husband/partner is doing OK too. I worry about my husband as he has nowhere to come like this forum as he just doesn't use the internet much.
Re the police - I'm one of those who has learnt not to trust them but there must be decent officers who treat our people fairly and honestly and I hope it's even more the case with young people like your son. I'm not trying to make it sound better than it is, all I'd say is be cautious around them even if they sound like your new friend and double check anything they tell you before you believe it as fact. That is why this forum is such a godsend (eg the post about duckduckgo as you might not have known that.)
Sending you a big hug - my son is much older than yours but a mum is a mum regardless of her children's ages. Hope your husband/partner is doing OK too. I worry about my husband as he has nowhere to come like this forum as he just doesn't use the internet much.
Thank you.
As horrible as it sounds, iv seemed to have come to terms with it quicker than my husband, not to sound weird or strange... but as you said we all cope with things differently and I have reached out to the helpline and this forum, my husband hasn't.. he's not coping at all. And seems to think we can't talk to anyone.
He's recently had a major health scare before all this, so I'm worrying for his mental health.
I'm trying to balance work, homelife and keeping everyone positive when I want to just sit and cry, collapsing into a big heap.
No time to think about it as the knock came on the start of my working week (Wednesday to monday) I suppose it will eventually hit me harder when I have down time.
I find the awkward silences at home deafening.
I understand his fear of our son being the p word.... but I don't see that, I see that he just got sucked into the interent.
As horrible as it sounds, iv seemed to have come to terms with it quicker than my husband, not to sound weird or strange... but as you said we all cope with things differently and I have reached out to the helpline and this forum, my husband hasn't.. he's not coping at all. And seems to think we can't talk to anyone.
He's recently had a major health scare before all this, so I'm worrying for his mental health.
I'm trying to balance work, homelife and keeping everyone positive when I want to just sit and cry, collapsing into a big heap.
No time to think about it as the knock came on the start of my working week (Wednesday to monday) I suppose it will eventually hit me harder when I have down time.
I find the awkward silences at home deafening.
I understand his fear of our son being the p word.... but I don't see that, I see that he just got sucked into the interent.
Men find it very difficult to talk about my brother would text me asking if we were all OK but thats as far as he would go I respect that and grateful for his concern, I have been the strength for 18months in our family and it catches up with you please take time for self care honestly I wish I had listened to people on here I literally just went into survival mode, mental health is so difficult as there is literally not much out there nhs, my oh ended up going private and it's helped massively.
Sending strength and hugs x
Sending strength and hugs x
Can I just say thank you to everyone who has responded.
I wouldn't have dreamed that people could be so supportive, I suppose it's a case of once you have been through it.. you can see the effect?
Son seems... different today, still remorseful but I did explain to him this morning, this doesn't define him, he is still the same boy and he doesn't need to let this rule his life.
Yes there will be consequences, but after already expressing he would take his own life if he goes to prison, he's sick of causing me and his dad stress... I'd prefer to see signs of my old son in there to that.
Does anyone know how long it will take before social services get involved?
We already have a meeting at school Monday (in regards to his suspension) we have already informed them of the knock.
I'm still trying to figure out how to word it to his cahms Councillor... I really need to email them.
Thank you once again.
I wouldn't have dreamed that people could be so supportive, I suppose it's a case of once you have been through it.. you can see the effect?
Son seems... different today, still remorseful but I did explain to him this morning, this doesn't define him, he is still the same boy and he doesn't need to let this rule his life.
Yes there will be consequences, but after already expressing he would take his own life if he goes to prison, he's sick of causing me and his dad stress... I'd prefer to see signs of my old son in there to that.
Does anyone know how long it will take before social services get involved?
We already have a meeting at school Monday (in regards to his suspension) we have already informed them of the knock.
I'm still trying to figure out how to word it to his cahms Councillor... I really need to email them.
Thank you once again.
Hey, Just be honest with his CAMH counsellor, as someone in the profession I can't tell you the amount of this I have heard since I've been in the situation (mine was my son too) I found a report the other day that states 65% of these cases last year were young people. It should have been reported to SS that day by the police or the school. This would of gone through th the MASH team, they will call you and then assign a SW. This could also be a case closed stright away until more evidence is gathered. Discord, Kik, etc apps are renoned for being less accountable for what happens in them.
All I can say is sit tight and see what happens, its a terrible time and you will feel completly all over the place. call the help line if you need to, I would get him to do the LFF young persons course too, they are really good and it will just give him some education around this kind of stuff. Also if you think he is Neurodivergent and his under CAMH get them to put him forward for diagnosis ASAP, may give him some more understanding about his anger etc. Feel gree to message me if you need anything.
Big hugs
All I can say is sit tight and see what happens, its a terrible time and you will feel completly all over the place. call the help line if you need to, I would get him to do the LFF young persons course too, they are really good and it will just give him some education around this kind of stuff. Also if you think he is Neurodivergent and his under CAMH get them to put him forward for diagnosis ASAP, may give him some more understanding about his anger etc. Feel gree to message me if you need anything.
Big hugs
@just_want_an_end_to_it
We have been refused by cahms 3 times, they are saying they won't do a referral even though we have filled in the paperwork and so have the school.
Knocked back at every stage. Feel free to message me any advice in getting them to get off their proverbial because we have run out of ideas, even a referral from the gp resulted in less than nothing.
We have been refused by cahms 3 times, they are saying they won't do a referral even though we have filled in the paperwork and so have the school.
Knocked back at every stage. Feel free to message me any advice in getting them to get off their proverbial because we have run out of ideas, even a referral from the gp resulted in less than nothing.
Hi just don't know,
I would hope that due to your son's age he would be considered as a child in need of help. As awful as this is, this may lead to him getting the support he needs now. I wonder if CAMHS in your area has a harmful sexual behaviour team?
in relation to SS you should be contacted quite quickly, as it will go through the MASH (multi agency safeguarding hub) this should actually help to pull all the services together for your son. I would expect that SS would do a single assessment and then make a plan in partnership with you and your son.
My advice would be to engage with any support you are offered for your son and be his advocate (which it sounds like you are already doing amazingly). I realise now that my son was being groomed online when he was 14 and I didn't have the resources to know how to deal with it. I'm sure this has contributed to where he is now several years later. Things have moved on so much now. Help is available and children are seen much more clearly as victims.
Good luck
I would hope that due to your son's age he would be considered as a child in need of help. As awful as this is, this may lead to him getting the support he needs now. I wonder if CAMHS in your area has a harmful sexual behaviour team?
in relation to SS you should be contacted quite quickly, as it will go through the MASH (multi agency safeguarding hub) this should actually help to pull all the services together for your son. I would expect that SS would do a single assessment and then make a plan in partnership with you and your son.
My advice would be to engage with any support you are offered for your son and be his advocate (which it sounds like you are already doing amazingly). I realise now that my son was being groomed online when he was 14 and I didn't have the resources to know how to deal with it. I'm sure this has contributed to where he is now several years later. Things have moved on so much now. Help is available and children are seen much more clearly as victims.
Good luck
I'm so sorry you are all experiencing the turmoil this journey presents. Perhaps your husband would find this forum beneficial in his own right? He could set up his own profile with anonymity. Aside from the immense support I have received from others I have also learned so much about offences of this nature and the circumstances that lead to the offending. Sending you all strength x
Thank you.
Iv tried suggesting it to him, I'm so worried about him.. he's locked down an seems so stressed. Like I said with his recent health scares his mental health wasn't great, continued stress with sons behaviour at school and now this. It's just making it worse...
Iv had recent health scares too, and I'm currently awaiting surgery.
We have had to overcome so many difficulties during our relationship, we have both lost a parent, it was a difficult pregnancy with our son.
I don't know why I'm writing this, I guess it's just reaching out..or me trying to prove that 'look, we are a normal loving family with ups and downs, please don't prosecte our baby'
I'll suggest it again tonight..
We know we can't do anything till the police come again, I guess that's the added torture, our punishment that we need to handle. But its hard.
Iv tried suggesting it to him, I'm so worried about him.. he's locked down an seems so stressed. Like I said with his recent health scares his mental health wasn't great, continued stress with sons behaviour at school and now this. It's just making it worse...
Iv had recent health scares too, and I'm currently awaiting surgery.
We have had to overcome so many difficulties during our relationship, we have both lost a parent, it was a difficult pregnancy with our son.
I don't know why I'm writing this, I guess it's just reaching out..or me trying to prove that 'look, we are a normal loving family with ups and downs, please don't prosecte our baby'
I'll suggest it again tonight..
We know we can't do anything till the police come again, I guess that's the added torture, our punishment that we need to handle. But its hard.
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Morning, Just an update.
As expected, I'm an emotional wreck today. So far since 7am I have cried 3 times, felt my lip start to tremble at least 20 but managed to contain it.
1 was at school, my son has completely shut down, the teacher was very understanding, son is having a mh screen at school today.
Second time was whan social services called, I tried to hold it together but ended up being a jibbering wreck. Husband had to take over. Lady was lovely, gave me a few numbers to call, now I'm awaiting her call back whilst she speaks to the school.
3rd time, was to the lovely lady at ehcp... I really did feel sorry for her, she's supposed to help with education support... not help when their parents are snot crying down the phone.
Still waiting for mind to ring me back....
I'm ready to throw my phone in the bin..
My mind doesn't want to figure out the fog or what I should be doing next..
As expected, I'm an emotional wreck today. So far since 7am I have cried 3 times, felt my lip start to tremble at least 20 but managed to contain it.
1 was at school, my son has completely shut down, the teacher was very understanding, son is having a mh screen at school today.
Second time was whan social services called, I tried to hold it together but ended up being a jibbering wreck. Husband had to take over. Lady was lovely, gave me a few numbers to call, now I'm awaiting her call back whilst she speaks to the school.
3rd time, was to the lovely lady at ehcp... I really did feel sorry for her, she's supposed to help with education support... not help when their parents are snot crying down the phone.
Still waiting for mind to ring me back....
I'm ready to throw my phone in the bin..
My mind doesn't want to figure out the fog or what I should be doing next..
Morning, Just an update.
As expected, I'm an emotional wreck today. So far since 7am I have cried 3 times, felt my lip start to tremble at least 20 but managed to contain it.
1 was at school, my son has completely shut down, the teacher was very understanding, son is having a mh screen at school today.
Second time was whan social services called, I tried to hold it together but ended up being a jibbering wreck. Husband had to take over. Lady was lovely, gave me a few numbers to call, now I'm awaiting her call back whilst she speaks to the school.
3rd time, was to the lovely lady at ehcp... I really did feel sorry for her, she's supposed to help with education support... not help when their parents are snot crying down the phone.
Still waiting for mind to ring me back....
I'm ready to throw my phone in the bin..
My mind doesn't want to figure out the fog or what I should be doing next..
As expected, I'm an emotional wreck today. So far since 7am I have cried 3 times, felt my lip start to tremble at least 20 but managed to contain it.
1 was at school, my son has completely shut down, the teacher was very understanding, son is having a mh screen at school today.
Second time was whan social services called, I tried to hold it together but ended up being a jibbering wreck. Husband had to take over. Lady was lovely, gave me a few numbers to call, now I'm awaiting her call back whilst she speaks to the school.
3rd time, was to the lovely lady at ehcp... I really did feel sorry for her, she's supposed to help with education support... not help when their parents are snot crying down the phone.
Still waiting for mind to ring me back....
I'm ready to throw my phone in the bin..
My mind doesn't want to figure out the fog or what I should be doing next..
Hi Justdontknow, oh my goodness my heart just goes out to you, those first few days and weeks are so traumatic and heart breaking. I'm also here because of my son. He's older than your son but is still my son who I love with all my heart.
If you haven't already done so, I recommend contacting your GP for support. Both my son and I were prescribed medication to help us with the anxiety and it did help. I also recommend meditation or breathing exercises in an attempt to calm those feelings of overwhelming anxiety, fear and sadness.
Don't worry about your tearfulness or brain fog they are natural reactions to the trauma you're going through. Just try and breath and take one hour at a time.
If you haven't already done so, I recommend contacting your GP for support. Both my son and I were prescribed medication to help us with the anxiety and it did help. I also recommend meditation or breathing exercises in an attempt to calm those feelings of overwhelming anxiety, fear and sadness.
Don't worry about your tearfulness or brain fog they are natural reactions to the trauma you're going through. Just try and breath and take one hour at a time.
Hi, felt the need to reply as your post hit home as our circumstances seem similar to yours but we were back in 2020 when my son was 15/16.
Discord and disbord work like chat rooms and it's not just about streaming. They're not as safe as just gaming. Also Snapchat featured in our story.
My son was prosecuted but I don't want that to scare you as everyone's circumstances are different.
You will be so scared and worried but you can do this xxx
Discord and disbord work like chat rooms and it's not just about streaming. They're not as safe as just gaming. Also Snapchat featured in our story.
My son was prosecuted but I don't want that to scare you as everyone's circumstances are different.
You will be so scared and worried but you can do this xxx
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Today...
Today has been..different
Had a phone call from social service (I refer to it as that, even though its CHAD) same lady from yesterday, giving me updates on school talk.
She has advised the school to do a risk factor matrix which forms part of catch 22
She is otherwise satisfied with everything that is being put into place, and said she is closing the file..... she will of course remain our point of contact for support etc going forward.
Doors that have been closed for years to us, are slowly opening and things are becoming within reach.
After conversations with us and the school, she feels a lot of this should have been picked up many years ago... were now going through the process of referring for learning difficulties.
I have been honest with my son throughout about the steps being taken.
Now its a case of sit tight and wait for the police..
In regards to a recent poster, I don't take offence.
I get where your coming from... more should be done to make children aware.. this has a major impact mostly on their very young lives..yes it impacts ours too...but all of it falls on them.
Technology is a fast moving ever growing commodity, everyone has access. Mentality and legislation, policies and so on, haven't kept pace.
Iv always known its a dangerous place if you go down the rabbit hole, I never knew how easy it could be. Sadly, much to our regret we didn't put protections in place, this is on us..the parents.
We bowed to the pressure of letting him have a phone, a laptop and consoles, to keep up with the other kids, so that he wouldn't be bullied for not having (much like with clothing)
If anything going forward, it's taught us a valuable lesson..if a little to late, but hopefully we can warn others.
I'm sorry it has caused you distress, I just wanted to reach out for help.
Today has been..different
Had a phone call from social service (I refer to it as that, even though its CHAD) same lady from yesterday, giving me updates on school talk.
She has advised the school to do a risk factor matrix which forms part of catch 22
She is otherwise satisfied with everything that is being put into place, and said she is closing the file..... she will of course remain our point of contact for support etc going forward.
Doors that have been closed for years to us, are slowly opening and things are becoming within reach.
After conversations with us and the school, she feels a lot of this should have been picked up many years ago... were now going through the process of referring for learning difficulties.
I have been honest with my son throughout about the steps being taken.
Now its a case of sit tight and wait for the police..
In regards to a recent poster, I don't take offence.
I get where your coming from... more should be done to make children aware.. this has a major impact mostly on their very young lives..yes it impacts ours too...but all of it falls on them.
Technology is a fast moving ever growing commodity, everyone has access. Mentality and legislation, policies and so on, haven't kept pace.
Iv always known its a dangerous place if you go down the rabbit hole, I never knew how easy it could be. Sadly, much to our regret we didn't put protections in place, this is on us..the parents.
We bowed to the pressure of letting him have a phone, a laptop and consoles, to keep up with the other kids, so that he wouldn't be bullied for not having (much like with clothing)
If anything going forward, it's taught us a valuable lesson..if a little to late, but hopefully we can warn others.
I'm sorry it has caused you distress, I just wanted to reach out for help.
Hi Justdontknow, I'm pleased for you that doors are beginning to open up. We now know that my son was a very young teenager when his online behaviour started. His behaviour was communication rather than iioc but he became addicted to the way it made him feel. It was a bit like self harm. He would feel good when someone responded in a positive way to him but would then feel ten times worse afterwards and there the spiral began. He never felt able to tell anyone what he was doing as he felt so ashamed of himself and knew what he was doing was wrong.
Obviously I wish with all my heart that I had been more vigilant of what he was doing but I can't turn the clock back. All we can do now is raise awareness of the dangers of social media and the internet and tell our story in the hope that it prevents another young person falling down the rabbit hole my son did. Unfortunately my son was well into his twenties before he was arrested and it took him being arrested before he felt able to access the help he needed.
Obviously I wish with all my heart that I had been more vigilant of what he was doing but I can't turn the clock back. All we can do now is raise awareness of the dangers of social media and the internet and tell our story in the hope that it prevents another young person falling down the rabbit hole my son did. Unfortunately my son was well into his twenties before he was arrested and it took him being arrested before he felt able to access the help he needed.
Hang in there & get all the support you can for all members of your family
Mental health support is vital because this crisis will bring up so many emotions.
Your son is young so he will get support possibly from the youth offending team to help him look at his offending behaviour & turn it around once the police have finished their investigations.This will be the start of a very long road so take a break when you can,even if it's a wander to a park,listening to music,chatting to close trusted friends,whatever helps you calm your racing mind even if only a few minutes.
The inform course run by Stop it now could help all of your family.Also think about counselling/therapy to support the whole family.
Good luck & Ive everything crossed that your son & family will get the help you need
Mental health support is vital because this crisis will bring up so many emotions.
Your son is young so he will get support possibly from the youth offending team to help him look at his offending behaviour & turn it around once the police have finished their investigations.This will be the start of a very long road so take a break when you can,even if it's a wander to a park,listening to music,chatting to close trusted friends,whatever helps you calm your racing mind even if only a few minutes.
The inform course run by Stop it now could help all of your family.Also think about counselling/therapy to support the whole family.
Good luck & Ive everything crossed that your son & family will get the help you need
Just an update..
We had a safeguarding meeting with the school, they were very understanding. She suspects high functioning autism, and steps have been put into place at school, but they feel he might be better at a different school... which we can't do until senmas get back in touch. My sons case with senmas goes to panel tomorrow, so I should hear something on Wednesday or Thursday.
He's since had 3 full days in school, with all positive points (no detentions, no negative points no suspension)
I called the dc on Tuesday morning..I don't know why, bit I just felt I needed to update her. I also asked about the next steps, but she said she can't go into it until the phone information comes back from forensics, she did state there are no restrictions on my son, he can go where he pleases and so on..
I then made the fatal mistake of asking how long (we were initially told 3 month's)
9 month's
It could take upto 9 months... dependant of what else happens in the area..
9 more months of sheer hell..
9 month's which pushes his age bracket up.. (13 when image sent over snapchat, 14 with the knock..)
It sets my mind into panic thinking they could remove restrictions on press if they charge him, will they with draw all help as he will be older (15)
Will he go to a youth prison...
At night i lay awake thinking about it all and it suffocates me.
In the morning, I pretend that everything's fine..
We had a safeguarding meeting with the school, they were very understanding. She suspects high functioning autism, and steps have been put into place at school, but they feel he might be better at a different school... which we can't do until senmas get back in touch. My sons case with senmas goes to panel tomorrow, so I should hear something on Wednesday or Thursday.
He's since had 3 full days in school, with all positive points (no detentions, no negative points no suspension)
I called the dc on Tuesday morning..I don't know why, bit I just felt I needed to update her. I also asked about the next steps, but she said she can't go into it until the phone information comes back from forensics, she did state there are no restrictions on my son, he can go where he pleases and so on..
I then made the fatal mistake of asking how long (we were initially told 3 month's)
9 month's
It could take upto 9 months... dependant of what else happens in the area..
9 more months of sheer hell..
9 month's which pushes his age bracket up.. (13 when image sent over snapchat, 14 with the knock..)
It sets my mind into panic thinking they could remove restrictions on press if they charge him, will they with draw all help as he will be older (15)
Will he go to a youth prison...
At night i lay awake thinking about it all and it suffocates me.
In the morning, I pretend that everything's fine..
Ahh bless you. Your story is heartbreaking - we've said it many times youthful curiosity is a very dangerous place on the internet and so much more warning information should be available.
I think all the practical things have been covered but just wanted to send you and your family a simple hug. I'm sure we all clearly understand your devastation and are with you all the way my lovely. xxxxx
I think all the practical things have been covered but just wanted to send you and your family a simple hug. I'm sure we all clearly understand your devastation and are with you all the way my lovely. xxxxx
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You're doing amazingly coping with your feelings & all the family too.Make sure you get support for your mental health because this is a very turbulent time!
It took 10 months for the police & youth offending team to get back in touch with my stepson's full investigated illoc & consequences.
I hope you & your partner are able to communicate & function.Myself & my now ex husband took different stances on what his son had done,how to talk with him,consequences.I got support on here,the helpline,a counsellor,friends & family.Wheres my husband spoke to some family & friends but chose to put a lid on things
Take it day by day & take care x
It took 10 months for the police & youth offending team to get back in touch with my stepson's full investigated illoc & consequences.
I hope you & your partner are able to communicate & function.Myself & my now ex husband took different stances on what his son had done,how to talk with him,consequences.I got support on here,the helpline,a counsellor,friends & family.Wheres my husband spoke to some family & friends but chose to put a lid on things
Take it day by day & take care x
You're doing amazingly coping with your feelings & all the family too.Make sure you get support for your mental health because this is a very turbulent time!
It took 10 months for the police & youth offending team to get back in touch with my stepson's full investigated illoc & consequences.
I hope you & your partner are able to communicate & function.Myself & my now ex husband took different stances on what his son had done,how to talk with him,consequences.I got support on here,the helpline,a counsellor,friends & family.Wheres my husband spoke to some family & friends but chose to put a lid on things
Take it day by day & take care x
It took 10 months for the police & youth offending team to get back in touch with my stepson's full investigated illoc & consequences.
I hope you & your partner are able to communicate & function.Myself & my now ex husband took different stances on what his son had done,how to talk with him,consequences.I got support on here,the helpline,a counsellor,friends & family.Wheres my husband spoke to some family & friends but chose to put a lid on things
Take it day by day & take care x