Big Hole
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It's been so very sad reading the recent posts of children innocently getting into serious trouble as they view images and pass them round. My son is 39 and the journey is bad enough - so I really do reach out to all the mums & dads/families going through this with a young person.
it seems to me like a massive hole (with no protective fence or warning signs ) laid bare and our vulnerable kids head towards it, heads bent looking at their phones - in their drones. They drop blindly into this hole one by one, then carnt get out - it's heartbreaking.
No information, no education, no one stopping this material from source, it's all so wrong and frustrating that nothing is done...... there is no protection! We warn children about drugs/smoking and alcohol etc, yet skate round this area, it's crazy, why when kids are hooked on their mobiles!
it is an extremely taboo subject, I agree but it needs to be faced up to and bought out in the open - to warn people, to warn our teenagers, make them aware of the consequences and dangers they can so easily come across on their mobiles/on line and the consequences it will have on their future and people they love.
it seems to me like a massive hole (with no protective fence or warning signs ) laid bare and our vulnerable kids head towards it, heads bent looking at their phones - in their drones. They drop blindly into this hole one by one, then carnt get out - it's heartbreaking.
No information, no education, no one stopping this material from source, it's all so wrong and frustrating that nothing is done...... there is no protection! We warn children about drugs/smoking and alcohol etc, yet skate round this area, it's crazy, why when kids are hooked on their mobiles!
it is an extremely taboo subject, I agree but it needs to be faced up to and bought out in the open - to warn people, to warn our teenagers, make them aware of the consequences and dangers they can so easily come across on their mobiles/on line and the consequences it will have on their future and people they love.
Completely agree Smile. These crimes thrive in secrecy. It's time to bring it out of the shadows and have the conversations in schools and homes.
The conversations may be difficult but a lot less distressing than the conversations following a knock xxx
The conversations may be difficult but a lot less distressing than the conversations following a knock xxx
I think this is a topic that should be discussed at school age appropriately. It doesn't even have to go straight into porn and IIOC online but talk to kids about taking pictures of themselves as even if it's them in the photos, it's still possession (but also production).
Wholeheartedly agree.
I don't have children myself but I don't stop thinking about the dangers and traps that the younger generation fall into, and it seems to be getting worse, out of control.
It definitely needs to be discussed/taught in schools....not the explicit nature of it all...but the 'technology' lessons that I imagine young people attend should cover these dangers, and how lives are ruined.
I don't have children myself but I don't stop thinking about the dangers and traps that the younger generation fall into, and it seems to be getting worse, out of control.
It definitely needs to be discussed/taught in schools....not the explicit nature of it all...but the 'technology' lessons that I imagine young people attend should cover these dangers, and how lives are ruined.
Most definitely discussed age appropriately.
Being Involved in this journey gives us a good understanding of the dangers and just how rife this problem actually is!!!!! I never gave it a thought before, did you guys?
As Distressed says it needs to be dragged, kicking and screaming out the shadows and faced up to.
Being Involved in this journey gives us a good understanding of the dangers and just how rife this problem actually is!!!!! I never gave it a thought before, did you guys?
As Distressed says it needs to be dragged, kicking and screaming out the shadows and faced up to.
The only thing to have come out of me joining the journey has been the conversation I have had with friends regarding there teenagers and how easy it is for them to get involved, my daughters school has been a great support and agree when I asked when we will be edicationg our kids about the dangers x
I don't know if anyone saw it on the news yesterday but some group ( I was only half listening so not sure who) are trying to get this put onto the national curriculum as there has been a massive rise in children under 16 seeing, sharing things they shouldn't be. X
I have just ranted about this on the 'what is happening' post. I completely agree. It shouldn't be taboo when it is so common!
I get where your coming from... more should be done to make children aware.. this has a major impact mostly on their very young lives..yes it impacts ours too...but all of it falls on them.
Technology is a fast moving ever growing commodity, everyone has access. Mentality and legislation, policies and so on, haven't kept pace.
Iv always known its a dangerous place if you go down the rabbit hole, I never knew how easy it could be. Sadly, much to our regret we didn't put protections in place, this is on us..the parents.
We bowed to the pressure of letting him have a phone, a laptop and consoles, to keep up with the other kids, so that he wouldn't be bullied for not having (much like with clothing)
If anything going forward, it's taught us a valuable lesson..if a little to late, but hopefully we can warn others.
I'm sorry it has caused you distress, I just wanted to reach out for help. After searching an searching through pages, I have only found 1 post on the same age bracket as my son.
Technology is a fast moving ever growing commodity, everyone has access. Mentality and legislation, policies and so on, haven't kept pace.
Iv always known its a dangerous place if you go down the rabbit hole, I never knew how easy it could be. Sadly, much to our regret we didn't put protections in place, this is on us..the parents.
We bowed to the pressure of letting him have a phone, a laptop and consoles, to keep up with the other kids, so that he wouldn't be bullied for not having (much like with clothing)
If anything going forward, it's taught us a valuable lesson..if a little to late, but hopefully we can warn others.
I'm sorry it has caused you distress, I just wanted to reach out for help. After searching an searching through pages, I have only found 1 post on the same age bracket as my son.
No distress caused Justdontknow, just sadness on how easily it can happen (plus when my grandson moves to secondary school there's talk of getting him a mobile) which scares me.
Whatever the circumstances I'm sure we on the forum will do our best to help.
never worry about posting or sharing your story x
Whatever the circumstances I'm sure we on the forum will do our best to help.
never worry about posting or sharing your story x
Just don't know,
This situation is not a result of yours or anyone else's parenting at all. If everything else was to move at the same pace as technology then as parents we would have the tools to equip our young people alongside the education system.
We rely on those with more understanding of the technology to empower us to open up these conversations, much the same as the current internet safety being taught in schools etc. I honestly don't think I'd have had the conversations I've had with my older two since joining this forum had I not have been through the knock. It has made me very aware of the dangers young people can be to themselves and others online in a way that I was oblivious to before.
As parents we tend to take on our children's mistakes but actually once they reach pre puberty ages the influence we have on them compared to peers and outside influences is I think less than a third. If your son achieved first place in a race although you'd feel pride it is not your achievement, in the same way that with this you will feel a range of emotions but it isn't your mistake. Sending so much love to you in this difficult time xxx
This situation is not a result of yours or anyone else's parenting at all. If everything else was to move at the same pace as technology then as parents we would have the tools to equip our young people alongside the education system.
We rely on those with more understanding of the technology to empower us to open up these conversations, much the same as the current internet safety being taught in schools etc. I honestly don't think I'd have had the conversations I've had with my older two since joining this forum had I not have been through the knock. It has made me very aware of the dangers young people can be to themselves and others online in a way that I was oblivious to before.
As parents we tend to take on our children's mistakes but actually once they reach pre puberty ages the influence we have on them compared to peers and outside influences is I think less than a third. If your son achieved first place in a race although you'd feel pride it is not your achievement, in the same way that with this you will feel a range of emotions but it isn't your mistake. Sending so much love to you in this difficult time xxx
My daughter works in a school and is now teaching certain groups of children about online sexual offending. At the moment it's only boys of a certain age but she hopes in time the school will allow her to extend it to all children. She is using her experience to raise awareness in teenagers. In my experience the more we speak out openly, the easier it becomes to tell our stories.
Brilliant Ocean - it's a start......
Education only has limited effects. When I was that age, a long time ago, we had lots of education about the dangers of smoking for example.
I can still remember when the teacher showed us a diseased lung. Everyone in the class went 'ugh', but later on that same day, many of those kids were standing outside the school gates smoking.
If somebody does accidentally come across iioc, are they going to say anything to an adult? No, because they know they will get into trouble. A lot of them know what they are doing is risky or wrong, but they think they are anonymous online. They don't think they can get caught. They don't realise that their phones are collecting data on them, or that pressing delete doesn't actually the image or the message at all.
The law around possession was passed in 1978, when there were no mobile phones and no internet. It was never intended to criminalise children. Indeed, it was called the Protection of Children act!
But now we have a ridiculous situation, where a 14 year old can be criminalised for looking at pictures of a 17 year old. So the law itself needs updating.
I can still remember when the teacher showed us a diseased lung. Everyone in the class went 'ugh', but later on that same day, many of those kids were standing outside the school gates smoking.
If somebody does accidentally come across iioc, are they going to say anything to an adult? No, because they know they will get into trouble. A lot of them know what they are doing is risky or wrong, but they think they are anonymous online. They don't think they can get caught. They don't realise that their phones are collecting data on them, or that pressing delete doesn't actually the image or the message at all.
The law around possession was passed in 1978, when there were no mobile phones and no internet. It was never intended to criminalise children. Indeed, it was called the Protection of Children act!
But now we have a ridiculous situation, where a 14 year old can be criminalised for looking at pictures of a 17 year old. So the law itself needs updating.
Because a member of my family has been through this, I am completly open with my teenager about these types of crimes. At his age, he has most likely viewed porn, he has had sex education and he has had girlfriends. He uses snapchat and tik tok so I think he is able to hear the reality of online offences and how easily they can happen.
What may be some uncomfortable conversations with his mum that he doesn't necessarily want to be part of, to me, is better than the alternative of us having to ever deal with this again. And until it is rolled out through schools as part of their education, the only people that can teach the kids about this sort of stuff is their parents.
There are also cases where someone opens something once, deletes and doesn't think anything else of it. Not so much just related to teens either, there are quite a few posts on here recently about 1 cat C image, for example, obviously there has to be an investigation as it doesnt mean that is all that will be found. But, I don't agree that someone should have their lives turned upside down and be placed on the register for 1 image, I or any one of us on this forum could unintentionally open an illegal image in my opinion.
What may be some uncomfortable conversations with his mum that he doesn't necessarily want to be part of, to me, is better than the alternative of us having to ever deal with this again. And until it is rolled out through schools as part of their education, the only people that can teach the kids about this sort of stuff is their parents.
There are also cases where someone opens something once, deletes and doesn't think anything else of it. Not so much just related to teens either, there are quite a few posts on here recently about 1 cat C image, for example, obviously there has to be an investigation as it doesnt mean that is all that will be found. But, I don't agree that someone should have their lives turned upside down and be placed on the register for 1 image, I or any one of us on this forum could unintentionally open an illegal image in my opinion.
Yes, teenagers notoriously sway against their parents, but even so attempts should be made to warn and educate them regarding the dangers on the internet.
My grandson will soon have a mobile and as mentioned earlier age-appropriate awareness should be part of the curriculum in schools. Obviously it needs to be addressed by someone savvy on social media etc.
My grandson will soon have a mobile and as mentioned earlier age-appropriate awareness should be part of the curriculum in schools. Obviously it needs to be addressed by someone savvy on social media etc.