Trying to be hopeful
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Hello, this is my first time posting here and ive been put off in doing so but i think i just need to get things off my chest.
so Last year (just before christmas) my partner was arrested early hours in the morning by undercover police for communicating with underage decoy (police decoy) on Snapchat. They took his work laptop (very secure so everything is monitored through work anyway) and his phone. He was in the police station less than a hour from checking in to the interview where he was then released on bail. He is now staying at his parents house until SS let him back home.
It ripped me apart and it still does and we have young children who constantly ask why daddy isnt home. SS got involved and put us on a child in need plan where he can have supervised access with no restictions but isnt allowed in the house until police reach the decision. He isnt allowed to sleep back at home but children are allowed to sleep at his parents house with him there providing again that he is supervised.
SS Have now closed the case with that safety plan in place until police have reached the decision where they have said should the police say NFA or caution they will allow him back home.
My partner confessed straight away that he did communicate and send a picture and the picture was of his legs (no boxers etc) and asked "what was on her bottom half" where he recieved a image of leggings.
ive constantly asked him time and time again to tell the full truth so we can work through this etc and i believe he has told me it all but obviously i wont know until the decision. he has said he hasnt done nothing else and as soon as he recieved the image he panicked and deleted everything straight away including his account and app as he realised what he had done was wrong (still no excuse i know). Total days was 2 days where it was half an hour each morning.
He was supposed to answer bail in febuary however he recieved a phone call to say it was extended and that we would recieve a new date in the post which we did not recieve so my partner ended up contacting the detective who told him he should of recieved a date and said he would organise a letter to be sent out with a new date
Earlier this month his phone was downloaded (9th) and by the monday (11th) my partner contacted him wondering if a date had been sent out .
Long story short, he got a new date in may however when my partner was talking to him and he said that he dont need to wait that long and he will bring it forward to next week.
Then it comes to today with it being friday my partner had yet not recieved a date so contacted him again, where he was told the "bail system" was down and he would get back to him today for a date next week (i am however doubtful). Then our little girl has a dance competiton tomorrow and he asked if he was able to attend in which he was told yes of course as long as a adult was present. How would anyone else read this?
i just want this over and done with. At first i was sick to my stomach, in full denial but my children came first and always will. Since then we have talked and talked and believe he is telling me the truth although this has made me wary in everything.
We just want a decision so we can work on getting him back home with this children and we've spoken about how our "new" family life is going to work.
i dont live near any family or friends so this has been a lonely journey where my mental health has declined but we just need normality back.
Has anyone experienced anything similar and what was the outcome?
Im so scared he will get charged and sentanced which i know is worse case scenario but is them bringing the date forward a good sign or a bad?
i kept thinking maybe it would be a NFA but from what ive read they only seem to send them letters in the post so chances are it wont be that but the next best case scenario is caution.
sorry for the long post and if you've made it this far, thank you so much. I guess im just panicking and just want peoples similar experiences.
so Last year (just before christmas) my partner was arrested early hours in the morning by undercover police for communicating with underage decoy (police decoy) on Snapchat. They took his work laptop (very secure so everything is monitored through work anyway) and his phone. He was in the police station less than a hour from checking in to the interview where he was then released on bail. He is now staying at his parents house until SS let him back home.
It ripped me apart and it still does and we have young children who constantly ask why daddy isnt home. SS got involved and put us on a child in need plan where he can have supervised access with no restictions but isnt allowed in the house until police reach the decision. He isnt allowed to sleep back at home but children are allowed to sleep at his parents house with him there providing again that he is supervised.
SS Have now closed the case with that safety plan in place until police have reached the decision where they have said should the police say NFA or caution they will allow him back home.
My partner confessed straight away that he did communicate and send a picture and the picture was of his legs (no boxers etc) and asked "what was on her bottom half" where he recieved a image of leggings.
ive constantly asked him time and time again to tell the full truth so we can work through this etc and i believe he has told me it all but obviously i wont know until the decision. he has said he hasnt done nothing else and as soon as he recieved the image he panicked and deleted everything straight away including his account and app as he realised what he had done was wrong (still no excuse i know). Total days was 2 days where it was half an hour each morning.
He was supposed to answer bail in febuary however he recieved a phone call to say it was extended and that we would recieve a new date in the post which we did not recieve so my partner ended up contacting the detective who told him he should of recieved a date and said he would organise a letter to be sent out with a new date
Earlier this month his phone was downloaded (9th) and by the monday (11th) my partner contacted him wondering if a date had been sent out .
Long story short, he got a new date in may however when my partner was talking to him and he said that he dont need to wait that long and he will bring it forward to next week.
Then it comes to today with it being friday my partner had yet not recieved a date so contacted him again, where he was told the "bail system" was down and he would get back to him today for a date next week (i am however doubtful). Then our little girl has a dance competiton tomorrow and he asked if he was able to attend in which he was told yes of course as long as a adult was present. How would anyone else read this?
i just want this over and done with. At first i was sick to my stomach, in full denial but my children came first and always will. Since then we have talked and talked and believe he is telling me the truth although this has made me wary in everything.
We just want a decision so we can work on getting him back home with this children and we've spoken about how our "new" family life is going to work.
i dont live near any family or friends so this has been a lonely journey where my mental health has declined but we just need normality back.
Has anyone experienced anything similar and what was the outcome?
Im so scared he will get charged and sentanced which i know is worse case scenario but is them bringing the date forward a good sign or a bad?
i kept thinking maybe it would be a NFA but from what ive read they only seem to send them letters in the post so chances are it wont be that but the next best case scenario is caution.
sorry for the long post and if you've made it this far, thank you so much. I guess im just panicking and just want peoples similar experiences.
Sorry you find yourself here; I wanted to send you some support.
I couldn't speculate as to what's happening with the police, but to let you know that my OH was convicted of possession and after lots of work with social services and stop so counselling and LFF courses, he has been allowed home and unsupervised with our children.
It is a new normal, but life is pretty normal again now.
i just wanted to reassure you. Our timeline was a year between the knock and conviction, gradual return home and short unsupervised periods began 6 weeks after conviction and he came home full time 6 weeks after that.
x
I couldn't speculate as to what's happening with the police, but to let you know that my OH was convicted of possession and after lots of work with social services and stop so counselling and LFF courses, he has been allowed home and unsupervised with our children.
It is a new normal, but life is pretty normal again now.
i just wanted to reassure you. Our timeline was a year between the knock and conviction, gradual return home and short unsupervised periods began 6 weeks after conviction and he came home full time 6 weeks after that.
x
thank you so much for replying to me.
Sorry to see that you've been put in this nightmare too but you have given me hope that your OH has returned home.
We are more than willing to work with social services and have followed every rule been given despite it being heartbreaking,more on the children.
I just want a answer on what the decison is going to be so i can start preparing for the next stage.
Can i ask did your OH get in the media? Its another concern of mine espeically with 3 young children.
and did your OH have to attend court?
Sorry for the questions x
Sorry to see that you've been put in this nightmare too but you have given me hope that your OH has returned home.
We are more than willing to work with social services and have followed every rule been given despite it being heartbreaking,more on the children.
I just want a answer on what the decison is going to be so i can start preparing for the next stage.
Can i ask did your OH get in the media? Its another concern of mine espeically with 3 young children.
and did your OH have to attend court?
Sorry for the questions x