Stay strong and live life to the full
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Hi all, My husband was arrested back in May and he has told the police that Iam not to know any details of his investigation court cases etc even though we have a 4 year old little boy who keeps asking me when he daddy is coming home, it breaks my heart as I am telling him his daddy is working away..... since May there has been no information given to me except he is under investigation and he has right for me not to know anything even though I am trying to protect our 4 year old from it all. Myself and my little boy have moved out the area and we have a new home and my little boy has done so well with the upheaval of his daddy not returning home and the whole move. I have had my world turned upside down but yet I get to know nothing. There is one thing I can say to you all going through this that stay strong and carry on as there is light at the end of the tunnel I can honestly say from the experience I have had it does get better as I have managed to pieced my life back together and never been happier I just worry that he will come looking for us one day and I do not want him to see our son as he didnt care when he was talking to young i nocent girls and posting naked pictures of himself all over social media.... I hope this helps some of you out there
It's lovely to read about someone getting out of this reasonably intact. You are a SuperWoman x
Thank you hilltop478 I just hope it gives comfort to you all as it is the hardest thing to have gone through.... I am going to go to great lengths to see if I can find something to help the innocent families caught up in a similar situation as I don't think we get the support we should especially feom the police
Totally agree.
Cannot understand how something can be serious enough to justify turning up at your house early morning, smash your life apart.....and then be like "OK, see you in 6 months, just try and act normal and wait, enjoy your nervous breakdown."
Cannot understand how something can be serious enough to justify turning up at your house early morning, smash your life apart.....and then be like "OK, see you in 6 months, just try and act normal and wait, enjoy your nervous breakdown."
I get that it's a complicated matter and I get why we can't be given information... Its just so frustrating.
KG, you are right there usnt enough support for families. Stop It Now/Lucy Faithful does a fantastic job but for some we need more prior to it.
When the police came to our house the said they were taking him for a chat, this was after reading the warrant and searching the house for 3 hours, I was then told to go about my day. I was gobsmacked. I just stood in the hallway like a lemon until 2 of the police came back in. They said my husband was very distraught and told them I suffered from mental health issues. It was only then did they come to check I was ok and phoned my mum to come be with me.
I was left without my phone to phone anyone, I was alone with no support after being told what was going on. Had it not been for my husband telling them I had problems where would I be? I would love to see some sort of liaison worker to be there to support the others there during the search. An impartial person who can just drink tea and be there you know?
When the police came to our house the said they were taking him for a chat, this was after reading the warrant and searching the house for 3 hours, I was then told to go about my day. I was gobsmacked. I just stood in the hallway like a lemon until 2 of the police came back in. They said my husband was very distraught and told them I suffered from mental health issues. It was only then did they come to check I was ok and phoned my mum to come be with me.
I was left without my phone to phone anyone, I was alone with no support after being told what was going on. Had it not been for my husband telling them I had problems where would I be? I would love to see some sort of liaison worker to be there to support the others there during the search. An impartial person who can just drink tea and be there you know?
Hi all, totally agree with- stay strong and live life to the full. We are all strong people on here, picking ourselves up day in day out. We didn’t commit the crime but I’m sure it’s changed all our lives. I hope for some part for the better. Even though it’s been nearly 7 years I feel the support system for families is just not enough! Back when the knock came was a Friday morning, helpline not open at weekend, I felt so bad I phoned Samaritans, luckily someone was there for me. I wish I could put myself out there & be that person that has a cuppa & support to people in this crap situation, but ‘ this still to this day makes me hide & put barriers up
be kind to yourselves today xx
be kind to yourselves today xx
Hill478 this site has given families to Express their feelings without been judged... you are right the families need more support.
Sally Blue I feel for you having that feeling of this can't be happening to me and your world been ripped apart, I was at work at the time of his arrest and the police phoned me wouldn't tell me a thing just told me to meet them at my house in half and hour... the one thing that will always live with me was that I wasn't told a thing until 7:30pm at night but yet the whole of facebook knew already as he was caught by a decoy team and it was live video at the time of his arrest, i thought it was wrong. I hope your okay and you have the support now to make you stronger, friends and family especially.
Phoenixmum it gets easier as time passes by doesn't it, I am contacting a few groups and professionals to see if I can help families to get it out there that families need more support and portection. I hope you are living a happy life now.
Hi everyone
I am in the early stages, going through every emotion known. It would be wonderful to meet people in the same situation. Although people are supportive it is hard to acknowledge what it is really like in this situation. We are left in the dark with absolutely no contact. We do not really know what the police are investigating but I feel the little I do know is enough. My child has had no support and I have pushed for some. By the time this happens it will be nearly two months.
Unlike many others I am grateful he was caught because he has many addictions and hidden mental health issues. He was a terrible person on self destruct mode and would not seek help. I have been supporting him but find it extremely distressing and keep breaking off contact. He needs professional help too.
We will all get through this as we have too. Most of us have children and they keep us going. I have no other family so I am alone.
That support group idea is brilliant but how do you get to know others, as it is such a terrible thing to admit, why you are suddenly in this situation.
Good luck to anyone who can achieve this as it would be amazing.
I am in the early stages, going through every emotion known. It would be wonderful to meet people in the same situation. Although people are supportive it is hard to acknowledge what it is really like in this situation. We are left in the dark with absolutely no contact. We do not really know what the police are investigating but I feel the little I do know is enough. My child has had no support and I have pushed for some. By the time this happens it will be nearly two months.
Unlike many others I am grateful he was caught because he has many addictions and hidden mental health issues. He was a terrible person on self destruct mode and would not seek help. I have been supporting him but find it extremely distressing and keep breaking off contact. He needs professional help too.
We will all get through this as we have too. Most of us have children and they keep us going. I have no other family so I am alone.
That support group idea is brilliant but how do you get to know others, as it is such a terrible thing to admit, why you are suddenly in this situation.
Good luck to anyone who can achieve this as it would be amazing.
Hi Lee1969
Thank you for pointing me in the right direction. Your posts are always so positive and helpful. Reading how us ladies are supporting each other when there is no one else made the Eurythmics song 'Sisters are doin' it for themselves' come into my head!
Let's keep up the good work.
Thank you for pointing me in the right direction. Your posts are always so positive and helpful. Reading how us ladies are supporting each other when there is no one else made the Eurythmics song 'Sisters are doin' it for themselves' come into my head!
Let's keep up the good work.
Well done Lee1969, what a wonderful and positive attitude you have. It is bound to influence others. Xx
I for one can say the ladies on this forum have helped me no end sharing their stories I am especially greatful to lee1969 and Tracey for their non judgemental support who have helped me reach out to the help line and have some of those difficult conversations with my partner!
Thanks ladies ????
Thanks ladies ????
I must admit I am glad I found this forum, I don’t think anyone can really understand what it is all like unless you have been there.
There is a massive lack of support for the families in these situations. I feel like the police came and social services came dropped a bombshell and pretty much left me to it with little thought for my own well being. The police gave me the number for the Samaritans and the social worker is more bothered about ticking her own boxes!
There is a massive lack of support for the families in these situations. I feel like the police came and social services came dropped a bombshell and pretty much left me to it with little thought for my own well being. The police gave me the number for the Samaritans and the social worker is more bothered about ticking her own boxes!
There definitely needs to be more support for those of us left to deal with all the aftermath
Hi KG, I try my best to live a happy life. I lost family members in the fallout of all this so I get paranoid & anxious sometimes. I wish I could speak up & tell people there’s a lot of grey areas in this situation. Would be so great if the system progressed to helping family members more. United we would stand I’m sure xx