Social worker anxiety
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Hi
I have a monthly social work visit tomorrow to check in with myself and my kids .
New charges have been added to my person from police this week.
the social worker gives me severe anxiety telling me how bad it it , how serious , possibility of custodial .
my person has regular contact with his solicitor and has been advised his solicitor is fairly sure it will be a suspended sentence .
my children are 10 and 9 at the moment the story I am telling them about their father and the reason for no contact is working . In my opinion it is age appropriate.
social worker has said things like " the children will find out one day as this will effect their dads relationship with his future grandchildren as well " bearing in mind the age of my children I really don't understand comments like this ? Am I being silly ?
my anxiety levels are just so high and I just find it difficult speaking to social services . I am on edge and can't sleep for days before visits. The visit is over in 15 mins but still very difficult for me
I have a monthly social work visit tomorrow to check in with myself and my kids .
New charges have been added to my person from police this week.
the social worker gives me severe anxiety telling me how bad it it , how serious , possibility of custodial .
my person has regular contact with his solicitor and has been advised his solicitor is fairly sure it will be a suspended sentence .
my children are 10 and 9 at the moment the story I am telling them about their father and the reason for no contact is working . In my opinion it is age appropriate.
social worker has said things like " the children will find out one day as this will effect their dads relationship with his future grandchildren as well " bearing in mind the age of my children I really don't understand comments like this ? Am I being silly ?
my anxiety levels are just so high and I just find it difficult speaking to social services . I am on edge and can't sleep for days before visits. The visit is over in 15 mins but still very difficult for me
Hi,
I'm surprised they're doing a routine visit on a bank holiday. You may find it's been made in error.
It is upto you as their mother to decide what they are told. The social worker is way off the mark about it impacting his relationship with any future grandchildren given the ages of your children. By the time they start to have children of their own whatever punishment he receives is likely to be finished and unless your children inform the midwife or ss of his past there isn't any reason for them to become involved.
At their ages I'd be inclined to give them a bit of information along the lines of internet safety as an explanation of why they don't have unsupervised contact.
Has the sw offered any advice or reading materials for telling the children? My daughter is only 3 so the work I'm doing with her is around privacy and equipping her with correct biological terms with a view to build this up to keeping safe and eventually telling her about her dads offences potentially in her early teens depending on her emotional state at that time and level of understanding xx
I'm surprised they're doing a routine visit on a bank holiday. You may find it's been made in error.
It is upto you as their mother to decide what they are told. The social worker is way off the mark about it impacting his relationship with any future grandchildren given the ages of your children. By the time they start to have children of their own whatever punishment he receives is likely to be finished and unless your children inform the midwife or ss of his past there isn't any reason for them to become involved.
At their ages I'd be inclined to give them a bit of information along the lines of internet safety as an explanation of why they don't have unsupervised contact.
Has the sw offered any advice or reading materials for telling the children? My daughter is only 3 so the work I'm doing with her is around privacy and equipping her with correct biological terms with a view to build this up to keeping safe and eventually telling her about her dads offences potentially in her early teens depending on her emotional state at that time and level of understanding xx
Thanks for the reply .
I really don't want to give any explanation that may lead to more questions from them or them telling anyone that it is "internet related"
no one knows about this at all and I hope to keep it that way so telling them something like that could lead to them telling others the "reason"
he would work away a lot in the past before this so the reason he's not here and they haven't seen him is because "he's away working" this has been a simple explanation that they are happy enough with . They do want to see him and ask often but any explanation is not going to let this happen so I want to keep it as simple as possible for them .
they love their dad so much and I don't want them to see him as a "bad guy" these are memories for them that they will remember their whole life . In my eyes keeping it simple is enough for them and I can only do as much as I can to support them when they are missing him
I really don't want to give any explanation that may lead to more questions from them or them telling anyone that it is "internet related"
no one knows about this at all and I hope to keep it that way so telling them something like that could lead to them telling others the "reason"
he would work away a lot in the past before this so the reason he's not here and they haven't seen him is because "he's away working" this has been a simple explanation that they are happy enough with . They do want to see him and ask often but any explanation is not going to let this happen so I want to keep it as simple as possible for them .
they love their dad so much and I don't want them to see him as a "bad guy" these are memories for them that they will remember their whole life . In my eyes keeping it simple is enough for them and I can only do as much as I can to support them when they are missing him
Sorry I can't remember your journey and why the children don't have contact. Is this something that the sw has said should happen?
What do you want contact and their relationship to look like moving forward? xx
What do you want contact and their relationship to look like moving forward? xx
I was basically made to tell my children otherwise we would not have gotten off CIN plan. I didn't want to but in the end I was confident it was the right decision.
children are much more resilient than we give them credit for but only you as a mother will know when it's the right time x
children are much more resilient than we give them credit for but only you as a mother will know when it's the right time x