Conditions not yet changed!
Notifications OFF
We had the knock last week on Wednesday. Husband went to his mum's and I kept my step daughter at home (she is 18). They said that he wasn't allowed to see her until they had spoken to her and ensured that they were happy there was no historical offences towards her they needed to be aware of. Police came back on Friday last week, spoke to her and told me there was no concerns so he would be recommending that those conditions around not seeing his daughter and having to stay at his mum's house be lifted. He told me that the sergeant has to sign it off, but that they aren't allowed to impose restrictions without good reason as it is unlawful to do so. He said we should have it confirmed by Tuesday but most likely Wednesday that he is allowed home.
Well, it's now Friday. And the OIC has text me this morning (because I emailed on Wednesday and texted yesterday asking for an update) and said that the decision still hasn't been made. The solicitor emailed the sergeant yesterday to ask for the conditions to be lifted and a decision still hasn't been made!!
I am so frustrated. I need him to come home. I have health conditions which make it hard for me to manage some days as it is and stress is one of the biggest triggers so I'm getting worried.
How long is it reasonable for them to keep conditions attached that aren't required any more?? When do I need to start complaining??
Well, it's now Friday. And the OIC has text me this morning (because I emailed on Wednesday and texted yesterday asking for an update) and said that the decision still hasn't been made. The solicitor emailed the sergeant yesterday to ask for the conditions to be lifted and a decision still hasn't been made!!
I am so frustrated. I need him to come home. I have health conditions which make it hard for me to manage some days as it is and stress is one of the biggest triggers so I'm getting worried.
How long is it reasonable for them to keep conditions attached that aren't required any more?? When do I need to start complaining??
Now would be my opinion, perhaps request contact details of Superior Officers and see if that makes them jump. The police can be very obstructive. I hope it's sorted out soon x
Solicitor has emailed the custody sergeant directly apparently. And now it's the bank holiday weekend and it's been pointed out by the solicitor to the sergeant that I need him home to help me.
A whole week has now passed. I don't even know where to begin to make a complaint!! No one tells you any of this. They just give you one person's contact details and leave you to it.
A whole week has now passed. I don't even know where to begin to make a complaint!! No one tells you any of this. They just give you one person's contact details and leave you to it.
Update: Hubby came to visit for the day on Saturday as my step daughter was away for the weekend. It felt horrible saying goodbye to him on the Saturday night and I just kept thinking "how would anyone even know if he was here?" But we stuck to the rules.
He drove up to see me again on the Sunday, and on his way home he had a message from the OIC to say that those bail conditions have now been removed so he could stay at home. I was so happy I had asked him to keep his bags in the car just in case!
We have talked, and he said he's been honest with me. It was a horrible conversation. But most of all, it just struck me how sad, and depressed he has obviously been for so long. He said he can't explain why he did what he did, yet, he's hoping for help to get to the bottom of it. But he said he just needed something to feel alive and get a rush. He said COVID made him start to feel very isolated, then I was very ill for a while (bed bound for a few weeks and hardly mobile for a month after) and then he retired and lost his main form of social interaction.
It really made me think about loneliness in adults, particularly men, and how this can lead to poor mental health which can lead to bad decisions.
At one point I said to him that in a way I wish he had been addicted to gambling and lost everything, or got hooked on drugs because at least people could understand that's a cry for help.
Again, not expecting replies, just nice to be able to write my story in a safe space.
He drove up to see me again on the Sunday, and on his way home he had a message from the OIC to say that those bail conditions have now been removed so he could stay at home. I was so happy I had asked him to keep his bags in the car just in case!
We have talked, and he said he's been honest with me. It was a horrible conversation. But most of all, it just struck me how sad, and depressed he has obviously been for so long. He said he can't explain why he did what he did, yet, he's hoping for help to get to the bottom of it. But he said he just needed something to feel alive and get a rush. He said COVID made him start to feel very isolated, then I was very ill for a while (bed bound for a few weeks and hardly mobile for a month after) and then he retired and lost his main form of social interaction.
It really made me think about loneliness in adults, particularly men, and how this can lead to poor mental health which can lead to bad decisions.
At one point I said to him that in a way I wish he had been addicted to gambling and lost everything, or got hooked on drugs because at least people could understand that's a cry for help.
Again, not expecting replies, just nice to be able to write my story in a safe space.