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How to go about living apart

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TryingtoKeepHope

Member since
June 2023

57 posts

Posted Fri March 29, 2024 5:09pmReport post

So we're almost a year and a half since the knock and a year living separately (since our baby was born) and financially its crippling us, emotionally its driving us apart and the longer it goes on, the harder it is to keep the secret from family why we haven't yet sold our family home where my OH still lives while I live with parents with our child.

No one will help my OH I've literally been told "he can sort himself out" by SS, thing is he has no family where we live, all his friends have children, can't go into a shared place so what can he do apart from living on the streets?

I've looked at 1 bed or studio flats but with the price of them we'd be no better off financially it would mainly just to keep the secret up for the rest of my family.

We've tried appealing to alter his bail conditions just to let him live in the same property as us but police won't budge.

I honestly don't know what to do anymore and with the bail getting extended for I think the 4th time we're still no closer to an answer, has anyone got any tips to help with this? TIA x

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

438 posts

Posted Sat March 30, 2024 7:33pmReport post

Just wanted to bump this for you. I am sorry I cannot help as I am also stuggling. My OH has nowhere to go, though we dont have small children so he allowed to live at home i have tried to find alternatives. Basically i need a break, so the police said he cannot moved to his sisters, too close to a school which is 4 to 5 streets away. We live down the road from one! Then they said if he goes to a hotel on a temp basis the police will disclose to the hotel and would disclose wherever he went. So because we cannot afford a second property unless i move out we are stuck! I work from home so that is not an option, plus I do not have anywhere to go. I could not work from a hotel as it is a public wifi.

I hope some one on here can help you out with a solution they have found. X

Edited Sat March 30, 2024 7:35pm

Hopelesscared

Member since
November 2023

68 posts

Posted Sat March 30, 2024 7:55pmReport post

Webb89, would you be able to get a dongle or share your phone internet to work from a hotel? That way you wouldn't have to use a public WiFi but could still get some alone time.

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

438 posts

Posted Sat March 30, 2024 11:32pmReport post

Hopelessscared, thank you. I will look into that. That might be a solution. X

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1001 posts

Posted Sun March 31, 2024 9:21amReport post

My only suggestions would be to look at claiming any help you can and possibly visit citizen's advice. Living separately there should be things you/him can claim like council tax reduction or benefits depending on his work situation.

You will be able to change this back if bail conditions are lifted etc. If you're feeling under pressure to move back into the family home then citizens advice might be able to find him some kind of emergency accommodation xxx