Family and Friends Forum

So many stages to this journey

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AlwaysHopeful

Member since
March 2023

133 posts

Posted Sun March 31, 2024 6:16pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Fri May 24, 2024 8:03pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sun March 31, 2024 6:29pmReport post

Always x

My journey is different to yours as it is my son who offended, but there are a few lovely ladies that have been where you are and can offer so much advise and where to go for help and support x

The one thing we do share is this journey but remember no matter how difficult it is you will find the strength to get through it xx

Inturmoil1974

Member since
November 2022

279 posts

Posted Sun March 31, 2024 6:33pmReport post

We are only 6 weeks past sentencing 5 weeks since media exposure, oh has a new job been in it 2 weeks money isn't great but mental health wise much better place, on his days off he wants to do thing where my daughtet and I enjoy the bubble of our house so this is causing arguments, we need to get to a compromise for sure, friends of daughter has been hugely supportive but never been to our house since, but she continues to go to there's and out with them, whilst on bail they couldn't but now he has no restrictions so we need to find a new normal for that also, we got 1 year sor 1 year supervision and no shpo which I am truly grateful for, I won't lie I still have my wobbles friday nights for me seem to be my downfall thats when social media went boom, I came off all social media so have not read any comments and don't intend too. Oh has spoken to all neighbours they haven't ignored him but a few a little dry but at least they have answered him and no abuse, only abuse has been a friend visiting our neighbour to our ring doorbell.

My work has been fine no issues I had my first community event today which I am delighted to say was a huge success I was extremely nervous as to what response I would get.

We are still living together there has been no intimacy as yet but we do share a bed he is my best friend and hopefully we can get back to how we were before.

I take a day at a time

K4

Member since
October 2022

611 posts

Posted Sun March 31, 2024 8:09pmReport post

Hello,



we are nearly 6 months past sentencing and media attention.



OH has been allowed home and unsupervised with our children.



The children's social lives are largely u changed (OH goes out when they have friends over).



Our relationship is good and much stronger since the knock.


I probably only come on the forum every other day now. It's slowly becoming something I only think of once or twice a day. It will hopefully only be a distant memory soon.



wishing you all the best. You're welcome to message me if you'd like further details



xx

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

772 posts

Posted Sun March 31, 2024 8:42pmReport post

Hi, I'm in a different place to you as my son is the offender. My son now lives back home with us and has his children to stay at weekends, school holidays etc. He is 6 months post sentencing and media coverage. He received a suspended sentence and 10 year SOR and SHPO. His SHPO says no unsupervised contact with under 18's which we manage as a family.

We regularly have my other grandchildren at the house as well and my husband and I have a great relationship with all our grandchildren and my son has a wonderful relationship with his own children and his nephew and nieces.

His children are always being invited to parties which either my husband or I take them to if they are with my son and no one ever comments on this. We also have other children come to the house but just ensure we are there to supervise.

Family life will never be the same as it was but we are making the most of the life we now have, we enjoy being able to ensure the children have fun, make memories and know how much they are loved.

Edited Sun March 31, 2024 10:19pm

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1001 posts

Posted Sun March 31, 2024 10:09pmReport post

Hi,

I'm 3 years post sentencing and media coverage. In a slightly different position to most as I ended the relationship when he was arrested and we are very slowly looking at rebuilding our relationship. My older two children continued to have their friends over as he doesn't live with us and my little one has play dates with myself and the other mom's present as she is only 3. I'm also probably different to most on here with younger children as I have told the other moms pretty early into our friendships because I'd rather allow them to make informed choices and as it was early into the friendships it wouldn't have been a big loss if they decided not to be involved with us.
I probably won't do this as she gets older because of the implications it may have on her school life but I think I will manage this as she gets older by either taking her and school friends out or have them over when he isn't in.
I'm happy for you to message, every situation is different but I know how exhausting all of the what ifs can be xxx

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

772 posts

Posted Sun March 31, 2024 10:41pmReport post

After the media exposure I didn't think there was any point in remaining secretive so similar to Distressed I've been quite open about our situation. I don't think I now have any friends who aren't aware.

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2555 posts

Posted Mon April 1, 2024 6:52amReport post

As you know my son is well past his sentence date but over the years this forum has kept me going with all the valuable friends I have gained.

In turn I really hope I offer support to others going through this, that gives me comfort by still continuing to post - some good is coming from a bad situation.

Edited Mon April 1, 2024 6:57am

Inturmoil1974

Member since
November 2022

279 posts

Posted Mon April 1, 2024 10:40amReport post

Smile my friend has said she feels I am on this too much but like you I want to give back the help I have received and give people just beginning this awful journey some hope x

AlwaysHopeful

Member since
March 2023

133 posts

Posted Mon April 1, 2024 11:20amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Fri May 24, 2024 8:03pm