Birth plans with partner on SOR
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Hello! I'm 36 weeks pregnant (3rd baby) and planning a homebirth. Tomorrow I have my homebirth assessment and today the social worker came to visit us ahead of the assessment.
Apparently the midwives had emailed her raising concerns about where our children will be when I go into labour/give birth and what will happen in the event that I have to be transferred to hospital. Up until 32 weeks my midwife had supported my decision to homebirth but now it seems like they're going to throw a spanner in the works and decline at the assessment tomorrow. We have covered every possible event regarding childcare for when I go into labour (including in the night) so the kids aren't unsupervised around their dad at any point and incase of hospital transfer. My concern is (from what SS have said) they're saying he won't be able to be with me on an open ward at the hospital if I do transfer. In my mind I'm wondering if they'll push for induction so they can have a room for birth and post-birth so he's not on the ward around other babies. For anyone who gave birth while their SO was on the SOR, how did it impact the birth? Did they have to go home right after and were they not able to visit on the ward?
For context, my partner received a caution for his offence 2 weeks ago and 2 years on the SOR. No SHPO, and no conditions to his caution. We're currently waiting on him to start his sexual harm risk assessment.
Apparently the midwives had emailed her raising concerns about where our children will be when I go into labour/give birth and what will happen in the event that I have to be transferred to hospital. Up until 32 weeks my midwife had supported my decision to homebirth but now it seems like they're going to throw a spanner in the works and decline at the assessment tomorrow. We have covered every possible event regarding childcare for when I go into labour (including in the night) so the kids aren't unsupervised around their dad at any point and incase of hospital transfer. My concern is (from what SS have said) they're saying he won't be able to be with me on an open ward at the hospital if I do transfer. In my mind I'm wondering if they'll push for induction so they can have a room for birth and post-birth so he's not on the ward around other babies. For anyone who gave birth while their SO was on the SOR, how did it impact the birth? Did they have to go home right after and were they not able to visit on the ward?
For context, my partner received a caution for his offence 2 weeks ago and 2 years on the SOR. No SHPO, and no conditions to his caution. We're currently waiting on him to start his sexual harm risk assessment.
Hi,
no lived experience as I had a family member as my birthing partner and was discharged the following day. I do have lived experience of induction with another child and was in an open ward whilst being induced and afterwards as there were no private rooms available except when I was in established labour which took two days from the start of being induced.
If you can show them your plans for childcare during labour and delivery wherever that may be then you may still be able to have a home birth without the midwives rejecting your request. As it's your third baby things might progress quickly anyway, with my third it was during Covid and the hospital said to stay at home until contractions were less than 5 minutes apart which I did and was only at the hospital for about an hour and a half until I had baby. It was only due to the time that I gave birth that I wasn't able to be discharged the same day. I did have an issue with it being a weekend and the hospital staff not being able to verify if baby could be discharged to my care but in your case it sounds as though they are communicating so you shouldn't have that issue. Good luck for your assessment tomorrow xxx
no lived experience as I had a family member as my birthing partner and was discharged the following day. I do have lived experience of induction with another child and was in an open ward whilst being induced and afterwards as there were no private rooms available except when I was in established labour which took two days from the start of being induced.
If you can show them your plans for childcare during labour and delivery wherever that may be then you may still be able to have a home birth without the midwives rejecting your request. As it's your third baby things might progress quickly anyway, with my third it was during Covid and the hospital said to stay at home until contractions were less than 5 minutes apart which I did and was only at the hospital for about an hour and a half until I had baby. It was only due to the time that I gave birth that I wasn't able to be discharged the same day. I did have an issue with it being a weekend and the hospital staff not being able to verify if baby could be discharged to my care but in your case it sounds as though they are communicating so you shouldn't have that issue. Good luck for your assessment tomorrow xxx
Thank you for your response! With my second I went from 6cm dilated to birth in 12 minutes and I'm preparing for similar this time around which is the main reason why I've planned a homebirth as I won't make it to hospital in time. I'm really hoping they'll accept my homebirth and all childcare possibilities I've covered otherwise I think the only other way would be induction as I might not make it to hospital in time otherwise.
My homebirth assessment has been cancelled and rescheduled for next Wednesday now, which is frustrating, but hopefully by then we'll have some kind of direction with my partners risk assessment (as it's meant to start this week). The social worker has said if he comes back low risk then things can 'go back to normal' which would be huge in terms of the homebirth. The detective on the case did also say to me that if we find ourselves with any issues with either SS or the midwives to give him an email so he can personally speak with them as he said there should be nothing stopping us from living a normal life now as there's no conditions attatched to his caution etc. I'm hoping I won't have to go down that route though and that things will just fall into place in the next few weeks.
My homebirth assessment has been cancelled and rescheduled for next Wednesday now, which is frustrating, but hopefully by then we'll have some kind of direction with my partners risk assessment (as it's meant to start this week). The social worker has said if he comes back low risk then things can 'go back to normal' which would be huge in terms of the homebirth. The detective on the case did also say to me that if we find ourselves with any issues with either SS or the midwives to give him an email so he can personally speak with them as he said there should be nothing stopping us from living a normal life now as there's no conditions attatched to his caution etc. I'm hoping I won't have to go down that route though and that things will just fall into place in the next few weeks.
I really hope they do not scupper your homebirth dreams.
The process has already taken to much away from us as women.
It should be about what is physically safest for you and the baby and that is not an unneccesary induction!
Sorry no experience other than I strongly feel that heath care professionals are there to advice not tell. So if you have everything covered from the safety point of view, put it back in their court to identify the issues.
The process has already taken to much away from us as women.
It should be about what is physically safest for you and the baby and that is not an unneccesary induction!
Sorry no experience other than I strongly feel that heath care professionals are there to advice not tell. So if you have everything covered from the safety point of view, put it back in their court to identify the issues.
I agree completely that the whole process takes so much from us as women! I'm hoping they won't decline my homebirth plans. If they do I really want to fight for it but I also know they'd put it down to birthing out of guidelines and that would make it back to SS.
Did you go over your plans for childcare with ss? Did they have any concerns with it? The midwives should be assessing on medical grounds to ensure the welfare of you and your unborn child.
Perhaps if ss were satisfied with your childcare plan you could ask them to either confirm this via email or to let the midwife know. Make sure if you contact them it's via email and you highlight your plans so all they have to do is respond saying that it is sufficient to protect all of your children.
If the midwives reject your plan at the assessment I'd suggest emailing both the midwife and sw with the officer in charge copied in stating that they have told you that there shouldn't be any restrictions imposed and life should continue as normal xx
Perhaps if ss were satisfied with your childcare plan you could ask them to either confirm this via email or to let the midwife know. Make sure if you contact them it's via email and you highlight your plans so all they have to do is respond saying that it is sufficient to protect all of your children.
If the midwives reject your plan at the assessment I'd suggest emailing both the midwife and sw with the officer in charge copied in stating that they have told you that there shouldn't be any restrictions imposed and life should continue as normal xx
SS has no concerns with my birth plan and she said it seemed like I'd covered all possibilities when it comes to childcare.
I did however have my homebirth assessment yesterday, and although the midwives were happy with my childcare arrangements, they did say I should have a second birth partner. This is in preparation for the eventuality that I would need to transfer to hospital post-birth for surgery as my partner wouldn't be allowed to be left alone with the baby whilst I'd be in theatre. They said in that case, I could go in the ambulance with baby. My partner could follow behind in a taxi, then when we get to the hospital I'd have to part ways with the baby and he'd be left unsupervised, which wouldn't be allowed. They said the midwives aren't licensed to look after babies so I'd need a second birth partner to supervise him in that case. I said I have no other options as my best friend would be the childcare for my children (and she has 3 of her own!) unless her husband was home, but there's a high possibility he would be working as he works 10-12 hour shifts and most of the time it's 2-4 hours away. She could turn up to the hospital with all 5 kids though!
Besides that, they were happy to go ahead with the homebirth as long as medically me and baby tick boxes throughout labour and they have the staff to actually show up, which was a relief. They did also ask if there's any restrictions to my partner being around children at all, to which I said no as long as he's supervised and they said there's no issues with him being with me on an open ward in that case (incase I don't get my homebirth), so another huge relief!
On Monday my partner started his sexual harm risk assessment and concluded it yesterday. The independent social worker who did it said that she has no concerns and doesn't believe him to have an attraction to children or to be a risk to our children. She said she doesn't see why he can't be unsupervised with our kids. She'll be writing up the report now for our main social worker, then we just need her to act relatively quickly in either dropping the CIN plan or at least reducing the safety plan to enable him to be left unsupervised for small periods of time, which would be huge in terms of the birth as we then wouldn't need to have my friend on stand-by with 5 children incase I need surgery. I'm 37+4 today so it could be any day now, so I'm hoping they act quickly! X
I did however have my homebirth assessment yesterday, and although the midwives were happy with my childcare arrangements, they did say I should have a second birth partner. This is in preparation for the eventuality that I would need to transfer to hospital post-birth for surgery as my partner wouldn't be allowed to be left alone with the baby whilst I'd be in theatre. They said in that case, I could go in the ambulance with baby. My partner could follow behind in a taxi, then when we get to the hospital I'd have to part ways with the baby and he'd be left unsupervised, which wouldn't be allowed. They said the midwives aren't licensed to look after babies so I'd need a second birth partner to supervise him in that case. I said I have no other options as my best friend would be the childcare for my children (and she has 3 of her own!) unless her husband was home, but there's a high possibility he would be working as he works 10-12 hour shifts and most of the time it's 2-4 hours away. She could turn up to the hospital with all 5 kids though!
Besides that, they were happy to go ahead with the homebirth as long as medically me and baby tick boxes throughout labour and they have the staff to actually show up, which was a relief. They did also ask if there's any restrictions to my partner being around children at all, to which I said no as long as he's supervised and they said there's no issues with him being with me on an open ward in that case (incase I don't get my homebirth), so another huge relief!
On Monday my partner started his sexual harm risk assessment and concluded it yesterday. The independent social worker who did it said that she has no concerns and doesn't believe him to have an attraction to children or to be a risk to our children. She said she doesn't see why he can't be unsupervised with our kids. She'll be writing up the report now for our main social worker, then we just need her to act relatively quickly in either dropping the CIN plan or at least reducing the safety plan to enable him to be left unsupervised for small periods of time, which would be huge in terms of the birth as we then wouldn't need to have my friend on stand-by with 5 children incase I need surgery. I'm 37+4 today so it could be any day now, so I'm hoping they act quickly! X