Family and Friends Forum

I've had to create a new normal for myself whilst my husband has been away. I've become very conscious and mindful of self care and my own well-being.

For me spending time with great friends really helps. Ones you know you can trust. I can get really lonely if I don't plan ahead and get things in the diary. I withdrew from friends at the beginning and it was so bad for my mental state

We plan activities for the children at weekends. Nature trails, trips to the beach, park, soft play etc. we pack up a picnic and go out for the day and that really helps.

When our basic self care becomes a battle it's often a sign of an emotional struggle. Bathing and washing my hair are a massive challenge for me but this has always been a red flag to my emotional state. Don't beat yourself up about anything. We're all doing our best x

I also find my days off from work a real struggle, if I could be at work every day I would. I hate being off. I don't do any of the things I used to do before all this. I loved shopping, meeting friends, going to cafes etc. Now I just can't be bothered to get up. I'll drag myself out of bed, take the dog out get something for tea then I'll come home and potter or watch telly watching the clock for bedtime. I hate my life now. My OH had his sentencing next week, it's been postponed about 5 times, the first one was October last year and the knock was beginning of Jan 21 so over 3 years. I think it's the limbo and not knowing if he'll get a custodial or not that's the worst bit. I also have a massive fear of it going in the media and the consequences of that, will my kids friends disown them ( my kids are 21 and 19 still live at home) will our house be targeted or will all my work colleagues find out. So yeah all this worry has really taken its toll

In turmoil, I'm the same as you hate what I've become. I can't be bothered keeping ontop of getting my hair done, I wear less make up and I drink more now to block the thoughts. It's definately what my OH has done that's caused this, I blame everything on him on how I feel now. I'm full of resentment and I think it will take along time to recover from this. Saying all that I love him, we've been together over 30 years and I hope we can recover our lives. I think the one thing that would help is me knowing it wouldn't go in the media. If no one found out then I could get past this

I expected to feel better after sentencing but didn't so had to get some help. I went back through Talking therapies, started a meditation yoga class aimed specifically at mental health and recovery and engaged with a mental health well being organisation in my local area which offers various different workshops. 6 months on I feel I'm doing Ok. I have accepted I'll always have anxiety but am now learning how to manage it. I too didn't have any anger for my person and don't think now I ever will.

I'm the same as Louise. Work has been my saviour. Don't look forward to the weekends when I have 2 whole days to fill.

I'm now on my own so I don't have to consider anyone else.

I've started to volunteer at several different events and organisations. Makes me feel like I am doing something useful.

I do enjoy walking but it can be a bit beugh when you do it on your own.