Life after court
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Hi all,
Hope everyone is doing ok.
It's been a couple of months since my OH was in court. I count it as "lucky" if you can call it that and he got a suspended sentence and on the SOR for 10 years.
I was wondering if there's many on here who are out the other side (as such) as I feel like I'm struggling more now a decision has been made. We haven't called time completely on the relationship but he doesn't live here and I see him a couple of times a week but only when our son is there so never on our own.
Some days I feel like I can put it behind me and we can make a go of it. I do still love him but I can't forget the lies and I feel like the trust is gone. Am I an absolute fool?
Hope everyone is doing ok.
It's been a couple of months since my OH was in court. I count it as "lucky" if you can call it that and he got a suspended sentence and on the SOR for 10 years.
I was wondering if there's many on here who are out the other side (as such) as I feel like I'm struggling more now a decision has been made. We haven't called time completely on the relationship but he doesn't live here and I see him a couple of times a week but only when our son is there so never on our own.
Some days I feel like I can put it behind me and we can make a go of it. I do still love him but I can't forget the lies and I feel like the trust is gone. Am I an absolute fool?
@LifeRose84
Unfortunately my situation is different, my husband is still under investigation, so I can't give you 100 % advice, as I'm not in your shoes (yet).
Just take every day as it comes. It's also okay to change your mind in the future and to leave
I don't think you are naive, but your partner has to be completely honest with you and work very hard to regain your trust.
Unfortunately my situation is different, my husband is still under investigation, so I can't give you 100 % advice, as I'm not in your shoes (yet).
Just take every day as it comes. It's also okay to change your mind in the future and to leave
I don't think you are naive, but your partner has to be completely honest with you and work very hard to regain your trust.
We had sentencing start of Feb it was 1 year sor and community pay back he was honest from day one and the expert report we paid for proved that, police I felt expected me to walk away with what they told me, I too am struggling which has shocked me as I kept thinking we could move on after sentencing but I feel more overwhelmed now than ever, both of us struggling with our mental health is really hard I still can't bring myself to even see my gp, I believe I will stick with him i can forgive as he was honest but I will never forget, there is no right or wrong in this journey you have to do what's right for you.
Thank you both for your replies.
I think i naively thought after court I'd be ok where actually, its the opposite but I suppose it's still early days. I'm still coming to terms with the fact it's all happened, I forget how traumatic it's all been really, time will tell x
Sending love and strength xx
I think i naively thought after court I'd be ok where actually, its the opposite but I suppose it's still early days. I'm still coming to terms with the fact it's all happened, I forget how traumatic it's all been really, time will tell x
Sending love and strength xx
Hi,
3 years post sentencing here. He doesn't live with us and like you we see each other a couple of times a week with little one there. We've fairly recently made a decision to see each other on our own while our daughter is at nursery, this is usually once a week.
There are times when life almost feels normal all be it different and others where I question so much including my own moral compass, sanity and intelligence to be entertaining the idea of rebuilding with someone who has committed these offences. I'm on a waiting list for counselling and have completed the inform course and almost finished the breaking the cycle course. I'm almost hyper aware of risk management and logically I know, through extensive research that this is not all of the man I love and that there isn't anything wrong with me wanting a life with him.
It's a very personal decision and you can at any point change your mind on the relationship as has been said. I've said that for now the best I can give is that I'm committed to trying to work through things, this is involving a lot of work on ourselves as individuals and further down the line I think couples counselling sessions would be helpful. I have times where I bite my tongue to spare his feelings and I feel that having a safe space to verbalise this may benefit us both if it's something I'm unable to deal with in my own therapy xxx
3 years post sentencing here. He doesn't live with us and like you we see each other a couple of times a week with little one there. We've fairly recently made a decision to see each other on our own while our daughter is at nursery, this is usually once a week.
There are times when life almost feels normal all be it different and others where I question so much including my own moral compass, sanity and intelligence to be entertaining the idea of rebuilding with someone who has committed these offences. I'm on a waiting list for counselling and have completed the inform course and almost finished the breaking the cycle course. I'm almost hyper aware of risk management and logically I know, through extensive research that this is not all of the man I love and that there isn't anything wrong with me wanting a life with him.
It's a very personal decision and you can at any point change your mind on the relationship as has been said. I've said that for now the best I can give is that I'm committed to trying to work through things, this is involving a lot of work on ourselves as individuals and further down the line I think couples counselling sessions would be helpful. I have times where I bite my tongue to spare his feelings and I feel that having a safe space to verbalise this may benefit us both if it's something I'm unable to deal with in my own therapy xxx