Family and Friends Forum

I am so sorry, Ana.

The vigilantes are proper criminals.

If they really cared about safeguarding, they would quietly hand over their evidence to the police.

They publish it for their own glory and Internet fame.

As a result, they put the families and children of offenders at real risk of physical and emotional harm.

They should be locked up for inciting hatred - instead the police works together with them.

It's great that you're in a safe place now, but I also would recommend that you talk to an empathetic counselor about your experience. You can contact StopSo for that.

As in regards to your family, it's understandable that they feel distress, but they can't blame you for what happened. None of this is your fault!

Ana x

I am so sorry for what you are going through

I'm glad you are staying away somewhere safe I cannot imagine how scared you must have been in your own home x

The added pressure of how others are feeling doesn't help you either

Please reach out to your GP and call the LFF helpline

First things first you need to breathe, this is an awful journey to be on, but we are here to offer help and support

Its early days for you so do not feel pressured in to making decisions or having to explain yourself to anyone

Not much advise I know but just wanted to reach out and let you know you are not alone sending hugs xx

Ana /. I'm with my friends and their advice, this is an absolutely terrifying stage of this journey. I was so scared of vigilantes at the time, was terrified of any noise, cars pulling up, hearing voices outside, phone ringing, venturing outside my front door every morning was a trauma. I was in tatters, continually shaking physically like a frightened lamb, mental health at rock bottom. Yet the person concerned my son, was in prison, he was protected, while we (his innocent family) were left to face any possible consequences.

Your title is 'no light at the end of the tunnel' - honest I promise it will get better and you will move forward. Don't let these bullies distroy you, hold your head up high - we are with you my lovely x

Ana,

I'm so sorry you are going through this, it's completely unacceptable. Things will settle and get easier so hang in there! Try and give the helpline a call and see if there is any support available via other organisations that may help with funding some alternative accommodation or help. Sending love xx

So sorry about this awful situation but others who have been there have given you some good empathy and advice already. I do hope you can find support from your family and a place both physically and mentally where you feel safe. We all share these fears about vigilantes. We're nowhere close to that point and I'm already looking at people in my street and wondering if they might react one day if the media print anything. Sending a big (hopefully) comforting hug your way, or just a high five if you're not a huggy person!

I really really sympathise with your distress. Vigilantes are horrible who seem to get off on ruining lives and inciting hatred all under the guise of "protecting children". My view is that they are not protecting anybody, only destroying lives.

my autistic son was not involved in a "sting" but his very unique case was published in the local newspaper. The media of course twisted the story a lot by leaving out a lot of facts and using derogatory words to describe my son. A vigilante Facebook page called the "UK Database" somehow got wind of it and started circulating it around their network of half a million followers, who then shared it with their friends, and them with their friends, and so on. They stole a face picture from his Facebook profile (even though the media had no face picture) and the comments people were writing were absolutely awful..."beat him he'll soon talk", for example. My son is unable to speak through trauma (you're welcome to read my story on the forums).

Especially when it involves circulating media half truths which don't even tell the full story. My son has received threats, unwanted visitors to his supported flat (somehow people have tracked where he lives) and we even fitted a ring video doorbell to film these. He never answers the door though. These threats resulted in him breaching his SHPO (which he is currently in the court process for) because he used a different name (his SHPO forbids this) in an effort to hide from the abuse (not to commit sexual offences).

Sending you lots of love x

so sorry your going through this , I too have gone through similar with family member the thing is with the vigilante they are only loud in numbers or behind a social media page , one on one they can't even look you in the eye!! first hand experience of that ..its so difficult there is no protection for the families but their is I promise light at the end of the tunnel ..the ladies on here advised me of the same only a couple of months ago and guess what ..they were correct !!! it dies down these people have no idea how we already feel inside yet they add to it making you feel frightened and nowhere to turn but that's probably the worst thing that is going to happen it does affect everyone and everyone's emotions are different and vigilante don't see or care abkut that and more needs to be done to stop this because its the family members and children (who they don't care ablut) that are hugely affected also ..rest up and feel your emotions and thoughts seek help from gp if necessary it really helped me ..and it will die down you shouldn't have to suffer the way you are and I hope everything settles soon for you xx

i am sorry but nothings is easy its the sad truth.when people make mistakes ,their reason behind the deed should be considered ,but here they just rush to make a decision. after all this happened with my OH i realised the signals he was giving to me about his poor mental health , but i ignored,i am glad that no real child was involved. shouldnt people be cautioned at first but here they dont think twice about passing judgement.if he really had harmed someone its justice that he is serving but here its all assumptions;what if?? i have been victim of child abuse

I'm so sorry to hear of the terrible trauma you're going through. The others have already said everything I would want to say so I'm just going to reassure you that even though it won't seem like it at the moment, there is light at the end of the tunnel and life won't always feel as awful as it does at the moment.