what's the possibility??????
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Hello, Sorry in advance if the post is too long but just want peoples opinions. I understand that everyones story is different but i guess im just looking for some comfort or preperation.
So my person is my other half. He was and still is my whole world, we have 3 children together who are constantly asking him to come home. November 2023 is when we got the knock and he was arrested by plain clothed officers.
My partner admitted he spoke to a 12 year old on snapchat over the course of 2 mornings (around half an hour). He didnt want to get a solicitor as he thought it was best to be honest as they clearly had the evidence he did something. The "12 year old" was a police decoy.
The dectective on the case told him on the way to the station that "this was just a small nightmare to get through and then he can get on with his life" . He has send a photo of his legs (no boxers or nothing, just his legs) and asked her what was on her bottom half where he recieved a photo of female legs in leggings. He said soon as he recieved this he deleted everything (the chat, the account and the app) as he realised how stupid he was. He says the screenshots of the chat they had was 2 pages and he has sworn he hasnt done anything else. he had his phone seized and his work laptop.
SS obvioulsy got involved and our worker only saw him twice in which no full assement was taking out, long story short, in our assessment it says my partner in no risk and dont belive he has been or ever will be" but yet still isnt allowed home even for a few hours during the day and no overnight stays but yet our children can stay over night with him at grandparents house (where he is staying until this nightmare is over) which i dont understand but the amount of things wrong on the assesment is just another post in itself. so we are on a CIN plan and case is closed with a plan that he can have unlimited supervised access outside the home and have been told should he get a NFA or caution, they will allow him back home.
Back to the police, my partner was due to answer bail in january until a week before where he got a call and he was told it is being pushed back another 3 months and his phone was going to be downloaded on a date in march. anyway 2 days after the dowload date, my partner managed to get in touch with the detective as he was concerned that he tried to ring the number for bail and it wouldnt ring and he had recieved no time or date for the new bail date and he was told the bail date had been pushed back until may (no time given) however "he wont have to wait that long and will arrange a letter to be sent out". He had booked off a date he was told from work so my partner had explained he had a date booked off where the detecirve told him that he will try and get it for the orginal 2nd date. couple days later my partner got back in touch as still heard nothig where he was given an apology told the "bail system was down" (not sure how true that is either) but that he will arrange it for the week after, fast forward 3 weeks later, weve heard nothing. My partner has tried ringing and emailing and he has heard nothing, no responses in emails and no responses to his voicemails.
i get the dectectives are really really busy but its getting frustrating now. The detetctive was so lovely when my partner appologised for emailiing him but he was getting worried that he could miss his date etc and explained he had tried ringing bail in which he was told the bail line does not allow incoming calls (not sure why they gave the number in the first place) and was quick in replying back and forth.
we dont have a solicitor as he never opted for one and when we have looked into them we have been told now we just have to wait until the outcome and go from there. Its taking its toll on everyone and i just want everything back to how it was ( i now describe it as our new normal as i understand things will be different). Being apart has given me time to try and process everything and decide whether i want to be with him or walk away and weve spoken and ive said ill stay with him and support him unless i find out that there is something else and hes lied and then im gone.
could the lack of response mean it could be NFA or am i on wishful thinking?
has anyones person done a similar thing and what was their outcome?
has anyones person got a NFA and did they have to answer bail to be told that outcome or was it sent by post?
(i dont understand why he would receive a letter if he had to go and answer if that makes sense)
from my understanding it must have already been with the CPS as how would he know that he "wouldnt have to wait that long"
any help, advice or story is hugely appreciated, i didnt want to post but im driving myself mad with everything, i just want to know what we are facing xx
So my person is my other half. He was and still is my whole world, we have 3 children together who are constantly asking him to come home. November 2023 is when we got the knock and he was arrested by plain clothed officers.
My partner admitted he spoke to a 12 year old on snapchat over the course of 2 mornings (around half an hour). He didnt want to get a solicitor as he thought it was best to be honest as they clearly had the evidence he did something. The "12 year old" was a police decoy.
The dectective on the case told him on the way to the station that "this was just a small nightmare to get through and then he can get on with his life" . He has send a photo of his legs (no boxers or nothing, just his legs) and asked her what was on her bottom half where he recieved a photo of female legs in leggings. He said soon as he recieved this he deleted everything (the chat, the account and the app) as he realised how stupid he was. He says the screenshots of the chat they had was 2 pages and he has sworn he hasnt done anything else. he had his phone seized and his work laptop.
SS obvioulsy got involved and our worker only saw him twice in which no full assement was taking out, long story short, in our assessment it says my partner in no risk and dont belive he has been or ever will be" but yet still isnt allowed home even for a few hours during the day and no overnight stays but yet our children can stay over night with him at grandparents house (where he is staying until this nightmare is over) which i dont understand but the amount of things wrong on the assesment is just another post in itself. so we are on a CIN plan and case is closed with a plan that he can have unlimited supervised access outside the home and have been told should he get a NFA or caution, they will allow him back home.
Back to the police, my partner was due to answer bail in january until a week before where he got a call and he was told it is being pushed back another 3 months and his phone was going to be downloaded on a date in march. anyway 2 days after the dowload date, my partner managed to get in touch with the detective as he was concerned that he tried to ring the number for bail and it wouldnt ring and he had recieved no time or date for the new bail date and he was told the bail date had been pushed back until may (no time given) however "he wont have to wait that long and will arrange a letter to be sent out". He had booked off a date he was told from work so my partner had explained he had a date booked off where the detecirve told him that he will try and get it for the orginal 2nd date. couple days later my partner got back in touch as still heard nothig where he was given an apology told the "bail system was down" (not sure how true that is either) but that he will arrange it for the week after, fast forward 3 weeks later, weve heard nothing. My partner has tried ringing and emailing and he has heard nothing, no responses in emails and no responses to his voicemails.
i get the dectectives are really really busy but its getting frustrating now. The detetctive was so lovely when my partner appologised for emailiing him but he was getting worried that he could miss his date etc and explained he had tried ringing bail in which he was told the bail line does not allow incoming calls (not sure why they gave the number in the first place) and was quick in replying back and forth.
we dont have a solicitor as he never opted for one and when we have looked into them we have been told now we just have to wait until the outcome and go from there. Its taking its toll on everyone and i just want everything back to how it was ( i now describe it as our new normal as i understand things will be different). Being apart has given me time to try and process everything and decide whether i want to be with him or walk away and weve spoken and ive said ill stay with him and support him unless i find out that there is something else and hes lied and then im gone.
could the lack of response mean it could be NFA or am i on wishful thinking?
has anyones person done a similar thing and what was their outcome?
has anyones person got a NFA and did they have to answer bail to be told that outcome or was it sent by post?
(i dont understand why he would receive a letter if he had to go and answer if that makes sense)
from my understanding it must have already been with the CPS as how would he know that he "wouldnt have to wait that long"
any help, advice or story is hugely appreciated, i didnt want to post but im driving myself mad with everything, i just want to know what we are facing xx
Hello,
Sorry you have had to join us here. Honestly, trying to guess what is going on is difficult as overall the justice system is inconsistent. It could be possible that he is NFA and they've not gotten around to doing what they need to do but it could also be incompetence. It can take months and sometimes years for forensics to be done on devices. My partner was arrested in the March, released under investigation, charges were posted in December and it wasn't until the following December he went on trial and was then acquitted. This was also for a communication offence. Depending on the nature of the conversation that took place will depend on the outcome, it may be that the picture he sent doesn't count as an indecent image, there also has to be evidence that the phone and account belonged to your partner in order to make it a strong case if the conversation constitutes sexual communication. There's a lot of factors at play as to whether or not it will go any further.
The bail clock does stop when a case is passed to the CPS and the CPS don't have a limit on the time it takes for them to decide. If the CPS go back to the police with actions then the bail clock would start again but your partner would be notified. Most people tend to have a second interview prior to the case being passed to the CPS but as your partner would've answered everything the police asked I would imagine a second interview wouldn't be required but again, it's difficult to know for sure. I hope you get your answers soon x
Sorry you have had to join us here. Honestly, trying to guess what is going on is difficult as overall the justice system is inconsistent. It could be possible that he is NFA and they've not gotten around to doing what they need to do but it could also be incompetence. It can take months and sometimes years for forensics to be done on devices. My partner was arrested in the March, released under investigation, charges were posted in December and it wasn't until the following December he went on trial and was then acquitted. This was also for a communication offence. Depending on the nature of the conversation that took place will depend on the outcome, it may be that the picture he sent doesn't count as an indecent image, there also has to be evidence that the phone and account belonged to your partner in order to make it a strong case if the conversation constitutes sexual communication. There's a lot of factors at play as to whether or not it will go any further.
The bail clock does stop when a case is passed to the CPS and the CPS don't have a limit on the time it takes for them to decide. If the CPS go back to the police with actions then the bail clock would start again but your partner would be notified. Most people tend to have a second interview prior to the case being passed to the CPS but as your partner would've answered everything the police asked I would imagine a second interview wouldn't be required but again, it's difficult to know for sure. I hope you get your answers soon x
Thank you for replying and reading, it wasn't the shortest of posts. Theres so much detail i feel you have to put in to get the best advice out so i do thank you greatly for that.
Totally understand what you mean. Hes told me it was just general chat for half an hour each morning for 2 days and the most sexual communication was when he asked what was on her bottom half. All other messages was general chat. I asked about the image he sent and hes repeatly and sworn that it was his legs, not anything else like boxers etc (im not minimizing what he has sent or done either, it is still digusting and wrong but totally understand police concerns and reasons as does he).
He said he didnt see the point in a solicitor as he felt he needed to come clean. He has already done online courses etc and told the detective this during the conversation he was able to have with him and he was told it would all be noted down.
i didnt realise the possibility of a second interview. It was a police decoy and he told them everything he asked (he was questioned and released on bail within a hour and that include the checking in process) so hoping that isnt the case but totally understand if it is.
I just want all this done whatever it may be. Our children are missing him so badly and just want him home. They are too young to understand whats going on so they think hes working in a new "office" (works from home and currently at his parents) and its easier for him to stay away until his boss (aka police and SS) say that his work is now done and he can return home.
Im so sorry you had to wait so long for your partner to even be notified and then longer to even be on trial. But i do see hope that this will one day end from your experience. i just hope its the best outcome and its soon xx
Totally understand what you mean. Hes told me it was just general chat for half an hour each morning for 2 days and the most sexual communication was when he asked what was on her bottom half. All other messages was general chat. I asked about the image he sent and hes repeatly and sworn that it was his legs, not anything else like boxers etc (im not minimizing what he has sent or done either, it is still digusting and wrong but totally understand police concerns and reasons as does he).
He said he didnt see the point in a solicitor as he felt he needed to come clean. He has already done online courses etc and told the detective this during the conversation he was able to have with him and he was told it would all be noted down.
i didnt realise the possibility of a second interview. It was a police decoy and he told them everything he asked (he was questioned and released on bail within a hour and that include the checking in process) so hoping that isnt the case but totally understand if it is.
I just want all this done whatever it may be. Our children are missing him so badly and just want him home. They are too young to understand whats going on so they think hes working in a new "office" (works from home and currently at his parents) and its easier for him to stay away until his boss (aka police and SS) say that his work is now done and he can return home.
Im so sorry you had to wait so long for your partner to even be notified and then longer to even be on trial. But i do see hope that this will one day end from your experience. i just hope its the best outcome and its soon xx
Bless you, it's so incredibly difficult. If what your partner is saying is accurate then it may not be enough to charge so hopefully all of this is just a lesson learnt the hard way (unfortunate that families suffer too whilst this lesson is learnt!)
I do wonder sometimes whether the police act off what seem like minor possible offences to check whether there is anything more and also to not waste their time spent investigating in the first place. I know your partner has been honest and refused representation previously but should he be invited for a second interview he really should take up the offer of legal representation, it doesn't infer guilt but is important to ensure your partner protects himself x
I do wonder sometimes whether the police act off what seem like minor possible offences to check whether there is anything more and also to not waste their time spent investigating in the first place. I know your partner has been honest and refused representation previously but should he be invited for a second interview he really should take up the offer of legal representation, it doesn't infer guilt but is important to ensure your partner protects himself x
I keep saying to him although its really hard for me to process right now, if what he is saying is true and he is not missing out even the littlest of detail then i will stand by him and support him through this. We have been together for a long time and as much as im still so angry and hurt right now, i do love him and the kids absolutey adore him.
Being away from each other has given us the opporunity to talk properly and figure things out but if he is lying then im done and he knows im serious and he still swears so i just hope im not being fooled by believing him. i do think he is telling the truth as he knows im serious in walking away and ive given him many opporunites to tell me if there is anything else so we can work through it.
Im really hoping it isnt enough to charge Despite the admittance and i must add its nice to see someone has had the same thought as me, i did think have they reacted like this because although it is still wrong in many ways what he has done, whether they have reacted the way they have to see if there was anything else behind all this (again in which he has said there has certainly not been except for what he has admitted too already)
Regards to IF there is a second interview in which im hoping there isnt, he's said he would get a duty solicitor as he has said hes already told the truth from the beginning. i do think thats also why he didnt want to get one first time as he thought it would make him look guilty and because he has done it he just wanted to come clean (another reason why i do believe him and im really shocked at how quick he was in and out the station too)
Being away from each other has given us the opporunity to talk properly and figure things out but if he is lying then im done and he knows im serious and he still swears so i just hope im not being fooled by believing him. i do think he is telling the truth as he knows im serious in walking away and ive given him many opporunites to tell me if there is anything else so we can work through it.
Im really hoping it isnt enough to charge Despite the admittance and i must add its nice to see someone has had the same thought as me, i did think have they reacted like this because although it is still wrong in many ways what he has done, whether they have reacted the way they have to see if there was anything else behind all this (again in which he has said there has certainly not been except for what he has admitted too already)
Regards to IF there is a second interview in which im hoping there isnt, he's said he would get a duty solicitor as he has said hes already told the truth from the beginning. i do think thats also why he didnt want to get one first time as he thought it would make him look guilty and because he has done it he just wanted to come clean (another reason why i do believe him and im really shocked at how quick he was in and out the station too)
Hi,
I am sorry you have had to join us here.
My son was also for communication with a 12 year old, police decoy, one conversation, one occasion, in one day. He was put on bail, travelled to answer bail and he didn't need to. Bail was extended, no date, just 3 months. It didn't go that long and the police phoned him to go to station to be charged.
I really hope this is not the case for you but just prepare yourself. I know every case is different. The police never seem to tell you too much or keep you informed.
I completely understand how you feel, possibly the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.
I am sorry you have had to join us here.
My son was also for communication with a 12 year old, police decoy, one conversation, one occasion, in one day. He was put on bail, travelled to answer bail and he didn't need to. Bail was extended, no date, just 3 months. It didn't go that long and the police phoned him to go to station to be charged.
I really hope this is not the case for you but just prepare yourself. I know every case is different. The police never seem to tell you too much or keep you informed.
I completely understand how you feel, possibly the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.
Thank you so much for you reply.
what was your sons outcome? Did he have to go to court or was he cautioned?
Hes rang him again this morning and the detective answered and confirmed it was the date in may and finally given a time and said theyve struggled to find space and time to bring it forward so its that date for now but if they can theyll bring it forward.
Im guessing by his response that he is going to get charged with something.
feel sick to the stomach as was hoping it was going to be a very hard lesson learned and a nfa.
what was your sons outcome? Did he have to go to court or was he cautioned?
Hes rang him again this morning and the detective answered and confirmed it was the date in may and finally given a time and said theyve struggled to find space and time to bring it forward so its that date for now but if they can theyll bring it forward.
Im guessing by his response that he is going to get charged with something.
feel sick to the stomach as was hoping it was going to be a very hard lesson learned and a nfa.
No it won't be NFA.
My partner tried phoning to get info after nearly 4 years and then a month later had police arresting him on a warrant for skipping court. They'd been sending letters to wrong address since last summer so he had no idea. He's in court this week.
Your partner has admitted and the police have got evidence of him talking to a child which can carry a prison sentence. It takes time but the police will get to you when they are ready. They also lie loads so you can never trust what they say about time frames and court outcomes.
My partner tried phoning to get info after nearly 4 years and then a month later had police arresting him on a warrant for skipping court. They'd been sending letters to wrong address since last summer so he had no idea. He's in court this week.
Your partner has admitted and the police have got evidence of him talking to a child which can carry a prison sentence. It takes time but the police will get to you when they are ready. They also lie loads so you can never trust what they say about time frames and court outcomes.
Hi Marema,
Sorry you are going through this. I don't want to worry you even further but it is highly unlikely it will be NFA. My person was convicted of a similar offence. Two counts of attempted communication with a minor. It was attempted as they were a police decoy. Both was within one occasion. There were no other incidents or images etc on his devices when searched.
After two and a half years of it being investigated. He was sentenced to nine months in prison and ten years on the SOR.
Unfortunately I think you have a long road ahead of you, I didn't live it as the whole thing was all a complete shock to me (I found out when he was sent to prison) but from reading all the posts on here I think there are some really lengthy timescales. Sending you positivity at this really worrying time.
Sorry you are going through this. I don't want to worry you even further but it is highly unlikely it will be NFA. My person was convicted of a similar offence. Two counts of attempted communication with a minor. It was attempted as they were a police decoy. Both was within one occasion. There were no other incidents or images etc on his devices when searched.
After two and a half years of it being investigated. He was sentenced to nine months in prison and ten years on the SOR.
Unfortunately I think you have a long road ahead of you, I didn't live it as the whole thing was all a complete shock to me (I found out when he was sent to prison) but from reading all the posts on here I think there are some really lengthy timescales. Sending you positivity at this really worrying time.
Nobody here can say for definite whether it will be NFA or not.
The evidence may not meet the threshold even based on what has been said.
Every single case is different and has variables which will affect the outcome.
The evidence may not meet the threshold even based on what has been said.
Every single case is different and has variables which will affect the outcome.
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