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I’m not sure where to start, my ex and I split when our son was 5, he was physically and emotionally abusive to myself. He had infrequent contact over the next few years and had moved away from the area. My ex was due to visit one weekend when I got a phone call from him telling me that he had been arrested for downloading indecent images and that the police had told him he had to tell me or they would and that social services would be in touch, which they were the next day. I felt numb and sick and couldn’t really process it all, I told the ss that I wouldn’t be allowing contact, although they said that my ex could push for it, I could arrange for it to be at a centre, he never did. A few months later I got a voicemail on my phone from his mum to tell me he had been sentenced to 9 months in prison and following a google search I found a newspaper article regarding him.
For a year and a half I kept this to myself, I never told another person, then my exes ex girlfriend (who he was seeing at the time) phoned my mum out of the blue and told her. My son found out when he was about 12 when he googled his dads name and found the articles, I didn’t know what to tell him or say and arranged for him to see a counsellor who could talk to him about it.
Things were ok for a while but when my son was 16 he started self harming and talking about suicide he was referred to CAHMS, they weren’t great and he was seen on and off for about a year.
We have always been really close and it was such a tough time but he seemed to get through it. Then last year him then being 19 he tried to commit suicide, he was sectioned, diagnosed with depression and psychosis and spent 7 months in a mental health unit, whilst he was there he told the psychologist that he had been viewing images like his dad did and he is so ashamed of himself. They contacted the police who took his devices away for analysis, he wasn’t arrested or interviewed, that was about 6 months ago and we haven’t heard anything since, he has been discharged and is now back home, he is under a mental health team and has a support worker and care coordinator, he still has suicidal idealisations and believes in a parallel universe. It is like we are living with this elephant in the room and I don’t really know what to do, the whole situation is so overwhelming. I know everyone say’s this about their kids but he is honestly such a kind and caring person, it’s so devastating worrying what could happen. I’m sorry for a long post but I needed to get it out.
For a year and a half I kept this to myself, I never told another person, then my exes ex girlfriend (who he was seeing at the time) phoned my mum out of the blue and told her. My son found out when he was about 12 when he googled his dads name and found the articles, I didn’t know what to tell him or say and arranged for him to see a counsellor who could talk to him about it.
Things were ok for a while but when my son was 16 he started self harming and talking about suicide he was referred to CAHMS, they weren’t great and he was seen on and off for about a year.
We have always been really close and it was such a tough time but he seemed to get through it. Then last year him then being 19 he tried to commit suicide, he was sectioned, diagnosed with depression and psychosis and spent 7 months in a mental health unit, whilst he was there he told the psychologist that he had been viewing images like his dad did and he is so ashamed of himself. They contacted the police who took his devices away for analysis, he wasn’t arrested or interviewed, that was about 6 months ago and we haven’t heard anything since, he has been discharged and is now back home, he is under a mental health team and has a support worker and care coordinator, he still has suicidal idealisations and believes in a parallel universe. It is like we are living with this elephant in the room and I don’t really know what to do, the whole situation is so overwhelming. I know everyone say’s this about their kids but he is honestly such a kind and caring person, it’s so devastating worrying what could happen. I’m sorry for a long post but I needed to get it out.
Hi C2442
What a tragic story, your poor son. I feel very fortunate that my son's aren't my husband's.
The effect of this can and does go on for years, I do hope your son receives the support he needs instead of punishment
Please make sure you are also getting support from somewhere whether it's your GP or friends/family
Xx
What a tragic story, your poor son. I feel very fortunate that my son's aren't my husband's.
The effect of this can and does go on for years, I do hope your son receives the support he needs instead of punishment
Please make sure you are also getting support from somewhere whether it's your GP or friends/family
Xx
Thank you Poster and Tracey for taking the time to reply.
At the moment I don’t feel I can tell any of my family/friends Xx
At the moment I don’t feel I can tell any of my family/friends Xx