Finally over
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So yesterday my OH had his sentencing. It was the most horrendous day of my life and I don't ever want to go through something like that again! He got 20 months suspended for 2 years, 150 hours unpaid work and he's got to do the horizon course. He will be on the SOR and have a SHPO for 10 years. He had downloaded iioc in all categories for a long period of time. The judge was fair and made comments about me and how I'm supporting him and also our financial situation ( lots of debts I couldn't manage if he went to prison ). He also referred to my character reference a few times so i strongly advise doing one. I went in the courtroom and it was horrible, I cried the whole time and hearing some of the details from the prosecution was hard. But I would say me being there made a difference to the outcome as at one point I did think it would be custodial as the judge starts off by saying it could be.
It's been a very very long and difficult over 3 years. I'm a changed person, I was full of horrific anxiety and drink too much to block out all the " what ifs". Yesterday when we came out of court I just cried and cried, we both did, the relief is nothing I've felt before! It's going to be a long road ahead but now is the time for me to work on myself. The judge did say I was also a victim in this as my OH did all this while carrying on with our lives. I'm going to join the gym, get back to things I love doing like going shopping, pub lunches and just basically living again. I joined this forum the day after the knock and it was a lifeline especially in those very scary early days. I also made contact with three lovely ladies who I now speak to every day, they have been the most amazing support and if anyone on here can connect I really would advise doing it!. Thankyou to everyone who's commented on my posts with advice or virtual hugs. I will probably step back a bit now from this forum now but I know joining it has been this best thing in this horrible journey. Take care everyone! Xx
It's been a very very long and difficult over 3 years. I'm a changed person, I was full of horrific anxiety and drink too much to block out all the " what ifs". Yesterday when we came out of court I just cried and cried, we both did, the relief is nothing I've felt before! It's going to be a long road ahead but now is the time for me to work on myself. The judge did say I was also a victim in this as my OH did all this while carrying on with our lives. I'm going to join the gym, get back to things I love doing like going shopping, pub lunches and just basically living again. I joined this forum the day after the knock and it was a lifeline especially in those very scary early days. I also made contact with three lovely ladies who I now speak to every day, they have been the most amazing support and if anyone on here can connect I really would advise doing it!. Thankyou to everyone who's commented on my posts with advice or virtual hugs. I will probably step back a bit now from this forum now but I know joining it has been this best thing in this horrible journey. Take care everyone! Xx
Sending love louise I thank you for all the support you have shown me on some of my darkest days xx
Louise x
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your journey x
I am so truly pleased for both you and OH for the outcome, the sheer number of times the hearings were cancelled, and I am so sorry for how hard the court hearing was for you, all be a bit of a blur through the tears BUT you Sat there and listened to the hardest thing you will ever hear,
Now the Road ahead will be bumpy, but your strength will get you through it
Take time together (he is a very lucky man)
Breath
And move forward, don't ever look back just forward, time for you to shake off the darkness and allow the sunshine to shine
I wish you both an incredibly strong positive road ahead xx
Always here for you x
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your journey x
I am so truly pleased for both you and OH for the outcome, the sheer number of times the hearings were cancelled, and I am so sorry for how hard the court hearing was for you, all be a bit of a blur through the tears BUT you Sat there and listened to the hardest thing you will ever hear,
Now the Road ahead will be bumpy, but your strength will get you through it
Take time together (he is a very lucky man)
Breath
And move forward, don't ever look back just forward, time for you to shake off the darkness and allow the sunshine to shine
I wish you both an incredibly strong positive road ahead xx
Always here for you x
Thank you for giving your account of yesterday, it is so informative and will help others who have yet to get to that stage.
Wishing you all the very best to you both. I so hope you are soon able to do what makes you happy to make up for the 3 years of your life being on hold and unable to make plans and do what your heart desires. You so deserve this. Xx
Wishing you all the very best to you both. I so hope you are soon able to do what makes you happy to make up for the 3 years of your life being on hold and unable to make plans and do what your heart desires. You so deserve this. Xx
So brave louise49 thanks for sharing your situation, sending you of love and wishing you both all the best moving forward x
Louise - think sharing your story recently has given us all hope as we try to deal with our individual circumstances, a big thankyou and we wish you all the best as you move forward.
im sure your wisdom will always be welcome on the forum xxxxxx
im sure your wisdom will always be welcome on the forum xxxxxx
Wishing you both all the very best as you now start to move forward in your journey.
Louise I am so happy to hear that you finally have an outcome and I wish you both all the best for the future.
You have been so incredibly supportive and brave throughout and I hope now that you can take some time for yourself xx
You have been so incredibly supportive and brave throughout and I hope now that you can take some time for yourself xx
Thankyou ladies!! I've woke up this morning and I didn't have the crippling anxiety that's haunted me for over three years!. He has a long road ahead and there will be intrusion into our lives but I'm just so relieved it wasn't custodial. Just keeping my fingers crossed now that the media don't report. There were no press in the courtroom and no press in the court building so hopefully we will be lucky!
So pleased for you Louise. I remember so well the hideous anxiety and then the relief afterwards. It is only something this group can ever understand. I hope you can start to feel some joy again x
Louise / I think after this ordeal it will take time to recover and get over it - personally I don't think you ever do, I know I won't!!!!!!
it's a journey with a slow process and certainly a journey that reshapes our lives. You just have to try to grab the bull by the horns, except the blips - work on them and move on as best you can.
Any positives that come along give you a foot up the ladder - something to work on. You can do it, I'm sure x
it's a journey with a slow process and certainly a journey that reshapes our lives. You just have to try to grab the bull by the horns, except the blips - work on them and move on as best you can.
Any positives that come along give you a foot up the ladder - something to work on. You can do it, I'm sure x