First week after plea hearing
Notifications OFF
It's been a while since I last posted but this week has hit us like a tank and I am trying to keep myself from a total breakdown. So my son had his first court hearing at the Magistrates on Wednesday and only had a chance to speak with his solicitor the hour before he was due in. I don't know if that's normal but that is what we had. He plead guilty to having multiple images on his phone and was told it would go to crown court on 24th May. His probation officer took some notes and agreed that he was a vulnerable adult with mental health needs and would be referring him to a specialist nurse. This was a relief as this all happened before he turned 18 and had been suicidal ever since his first interview.
We were advised to go straight away to our local police station to give notification but unfortunately it wasn't fully open until the Friday so he managed to leave his details with an officer so they were aware he'd tried. Roll on Friday, I went to work and my son went to the station to give his details and as far as I know wasn't given any further advice. On my way home from work he calls me to ask where I was as the police and CPS had turned up. I came in and was introduced to everyone and told that my son was not allowed to stay in the house with immediate effect and that CPS would be round on Monday to start their risk assessment, as I have 2 younger kids and an older teen who are under 18. My son called my eldest and her husband to ask if he could stay with them, which they said was absolutely fine and I was left with the social worker's number and no other details. Last night, however, it all broke down as I found out that the police gave no information to my daughter or son-in-law and they were not equipped to deal with a very vulnerable adult who is now on SOR. My best friend had taken my teenager to see their brother and take some of his things to make him a bit more comfortable there. My son went into crisis and ran out the house into the road but thankfully my SIL and teenager were able to bring him back to the house. This has obviously highlighted just how fragile his mental state is but no one was given any information or contact details in case of emergency so I tried to call 111 who were absolutely useless and just made me feel like no one would be able to be there for him.
My best friend was thankfully able to de-escalate the situation and have a look at the paperwork my son had been given. They put the wrong court address on, saying he'd been to Crown court and was on bail pending another hearing. Then to find out the wrong info was written down when he went to the station local to my daughter has me so worried for his safety. I wish I could do more to help but I'm so lost.
I'm writing this on Sunday afternoon, which means there is no one we can call until tomorrow but at 10am I have CPS coming to visit. If anyone has any words of comfort or reassurance I could really do with it. Thank you for reading and sorry if it sounds rambled.
We were advised to go straight away to our local police station to give notification but unfortunately it wasn't fully open until the Friday so he managed to leave his details with an officer so they were aware he'd tried. Roll on Friday, I went to work and my son went to the station to give his details and as far as I know wasn't given any further advice. On my way home from work he calls me to ask where I was as the police and CPS had turned up. I came in and was introduced to everyone and told that my son was not allowed to stay in the house with immediate effect and that CPS would be round on Monday to start their risk assessment, as I have 2 younger kids and an older teen who are under 18. My son called my eldest and her husband to ask if he could stay with them, which they said was absolutely fine and I was left with the social worker's number and no other details. Last night, however, it all broke down as I found out that the police gave no information to my daughter or son-in-law and they were not equipped to deal with a very vulnerable adult who is now on SOR. My best friend had taken my teenager to see their brother and take some of his things to make him a bit more comfortable there. My son went into crisis and ran out the house into the road but thankfully my SIL and teenager were able to bring him back to the house. This has obviously highlighted just how fragile his mental state is but no one was given any information or contact details in case of emergency so I tried to call 111 who were absolutely useless and just made me feel like no one would be able to be there for him.
My best friend was thankfully able to de-escalate the situation and have a look at the paperwork my son had been given. They put the wrong court address on, saying he'd been to Crown court and was on bail pending another hearing. Then to find out the wrong info was written down when he went to the station local to my daughter has me so worried for his safety. I wish I could do more to help but I'm so lost.
I'm writing this on Sunday afternoon, which means there is no one we can call until tomorrow but at 10am I have CPS coming to visit. If anyone has any words of comfort or reassurance I could really do with it. Thank you for reading and sorry if it sounds rambled.
I really feel for you. The stress of following the rules & getting on the SOR within three days- like we've all got a functioning police station on our doorstep!
The whole justice communication system is terrifyingly incompetent. If your son is classed as a vulnerable adult,he should have someone with him when attending police station- not always possible at short notice. The police will not tell you much if he is classed as an adult.
We have kept notes from day one - both of our feelings & events.
Please contact the helpline to talk through your situation & they will support & guide you.
There is a wealth of information on this forum & try to encourage your son to do one of the Lucy Faithful Courses. It will help him to understand & will be favourable in court.
We wrote our own report in support of our son that was also taken favourably in court.
It is easy to feel really helpless in this situation but there are people here & elsewhere that will help & support you in this nightmare.
Best wishes & be good to you.
The whole justice communication system is terrifyingly incompetent. If your son is classed as a vulnerable adult,he should have someone with him when attending police station- not always possible at short notice. The police will not tell you much if he is classed as an adult.
We have kept notes from day one - both of our feelings & events.
Please contact the helpline to talk through your situation & they will support & guide you.
There is a wealth of information on this forum & try to encourage your son to do one of the Lucy Faithful Courses. It will help him to understand & will be favourable in court.
We wrote our own report in support of our son that was also taken favourably in court.
It is easy to feel really helpless in this situation but there are people here & elsewhere that will help & support you in this nightmare.
Best wishes & be good to you.
I'm so sorry this is happening. there are a few things I am picking up?
Was he able to stay with you up until magistrates court and had SS been intouch with you before then? was ther bail conditions? When you speak to the pobation officer at magistrates, they then contact SS to see if they need to do more investigating as your son plead guilty (I only know this as the pobation officer told me and it was on my sons probation report, social services report) this sounds like its triggered something, I think you should of been made aware of this though and given all details!!
Once on the SOR they can't spent over 12 hours with under 18's, although, depends on the offence and what the risk assesment SS have said, this can be cleared so they can live with siblings, be aware that them siblings are now not allowed sleep overs etc unless, like us we put a second address down and my son stays there when this happens. Also was his SHO put in place in Magistrates? Did you go through it? There might be something in there, our SHO was a copy and pasted 20 points, alot not applicaple to my sons offence. We had a private solicitor so luckly meet with us and went through it all, our barister chellenged it and got it down to 6 as we rejected it in magistrates as they need to give it to you 48 hours in advance and they only gave it 24 hours and not all visable.
My son was just over 18 (ASC so classed as a vulnrable adult) when this happened and I was/have been involved in the case all along, we all work together police, probation etc to help him through this.
I hope you have founs some more info today, If you need anything feel free to inbox me
Was he able to stay with you up until magistrates court and had SS been intouch with you before then? was ther bail conditions? When you speak to the pobation officer at magistrates, they then contact SS to see if they need to do more investigating as your son plead guilty (I only know this as the pobation officer told me and it was on my sons probation report, social services report) this sounds like its triggered something, I think you should of been made aware of this though and given all details!!
Once on the SOR they can't spent over 12 hours with under 18's, although, depends on the offence and what the risk assesment SS have said, this can be cleared so they can live with siblings, be aware that them siblings are now not allowed sleep overs etc unless, like us we put a second address down and my son stays there when this happens. Also was his SHO put in place in Magistrates? Did you go through it? There might be something in there, our SHO was a copy and pasted 20 points, alot not applicaple to my sons offence. We had a private solicitor so luckly meet with us and went through it all, our barister chellenged it and got it down to 6 as we rejected it in magistrates as they need to give it to you 48 hours in advance and they only gave it 24 hours and not all visable.
My son was just over 18 (ASC so classed as a vulnrable adult) when this happened and I was/have been involved in the case all along, we all work together police, probation etc to help him through this.
I hope you have founs some more info today, If you need anything feel free to inbox me