Fear of the unknown
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Hi everyone! I'm new here and taking a shot to find some support with my struggles right now. Me and my daughter will be going to the UK this year. My husband has been on the register and he's still has 6 years left on it. His prevention order will end this year, but we know that once we get there, we have to register our daughter at the police station so the police officer can coordinate with social services. We've waited for my visa to be approved for as long as I can remember, but when we finally got it, it was the start of our nightmare rather than good news. My husband has fallen into a deep depression to the point that we don't even talk anymore. One of his biggest fears is my visa getting revoked because we might have to live separately while doing the assessments. He think that social services might use it against us to have it the easy way for them to get rid of me by sending me back to my country, which will lead to them closing the case. We don't have any support coming from his family because they don't like me. I don't know anyone in the UK except my husband so I don't have anywhere else to go if social services will ask me to move out. I don't have access to public funds so I can't go to shelters. No one from his family are willing to take me and our daughter in temporarily while doing the assessments. I feel bad that my husband is struggling mentally because I got my visa approved. I'm so tempted calling it a day with him so he can move on and won't have to worry about social services anymore. I feel like it's the only way for me to help him. I'm emotionally and mentally drained as well so I can't be a good support to him. Is it even possible to beat social services and get them to let me and husband live in the same house with our daughter? I would appreciate any kind of advice. God Bless us all!
Hi,
yes, it is possible to live together with firm safety plans in place. You need to work together with social services and they might be very difficult, but it is possible - lots of people on this forum do.
I don't think your husband's offence is grounds to revoke your visa, as you haven't done anything wrong.
However, I would advise you to speak to an immigration lawyer.
All the best xx
yes, it is possible to live together with firm safety plans in place. You need to work together with social services and they might be very difficult, but it is possible - lots of people on this forum do.
I don't think your husband's offence is grounds to revoke your visa, as you haven't done anything wrong.
However, I would advise you to speak to an immigration lawyer.
All the best xx
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Hi there! I'm glad you posted here as I have no doubt that someone with more knowledge than myself will reply. You probably want/need to stay a bit anonymous which is totally understandable and advised by LFF anyway for good reasons but I think it's true to say that SS would become involved if you intend to live with your husband but if it worked out to live separately but with him having supervised contact whilst sleeping elsewhere you could put forward a good case for living safely whilst in the UK. Could you write up a safety plan along these lines (lots of help on here for doing that) to show the SW? The contents would vary depending on the ages of your children.
(I do empathise with the whole nightmare of visas etc as our son, who's the offending person and still RUI has a non British passport since arriving here in the 1980s but had a 'right to abode' in his passports but it had to be renewed each time his passport expired and of course he hadn't done this when he got a new passport literally weeks before he was arrested. My nightmare fear was him getting deported back to where he was born, but had never lived. Thankfully he now has his right re-established plus he applied and was accepted to the right to live here via the Windrush legislation which we'd never heard of before this dilemma!)
Re your husband, has he accessed any help for how he's feeling? Could you encourage him to ring the LFF hotline for a chat? You have my admiration for wanting to support him despite the difficulties but try to remember that ultimately it's your choice on behalf of your children and hard though it certainly is, he has his own road to travel with or without your loving help.
(I do empathise with the whole nightmare of visas etc as our son, who's the offending person and still RUI has a non British passport since arriving here in the 1980s but had a 'right to abode' in his passports but it had to be renewed each time his passport expired and of course he hadn't done this when he got a new passport literally weeks before he was arrested. My nightmare fear was him getting deported back to where he was born, but had never lived. Thankfully he now has his right re-established plus he applied and was accepted to the right to live here via the Windrush legislation which we'd never heard of before this dilemma!)
Re your husband, has he accessed any help for how he's feeling? Could you encourage him to ring the LFF hotline for a chat? You have my admiration for wanting to support him despite the difficulties but try to remember that ultimately it's your choice on behalf of your children and hard though it certainly is, he has his own road to travel with or without your loving help.
@Rainyday52 Thank you for replying to my post. I do appreciate it. I want to change my username however I can't find where to change it.
As for my husband, he had few sessions with stopitnow when everything kicked off ( we weren't together yet at that time) He has been honest with me since we started our relationship and he's trying to be a better person which is the reason why he came back to the UK for his final trial and serve prison for a year. He did the horizon and alcohol courses since the offense happened when he was drunk and taking medication.
His Sopo officer said he is not a risk. We are wondering since we only have his mum's house, is it possible to stay in one house while social services is doing the assessments? My husband has nowhere to go and that same goes with Mr since I don't know anyone in the UK.
We have been reading loads to mentally and emotionally prepare ourselves with what's to come. The only thing we want is to start our family together and try to be a "normal" family atleast. And that's our goal. That's why every reply or post I read over here is much appreciated because it helps me stay stronger. Thank you lovely ladies xx
As for my husband, he had few sessions with stopitnow when everything kicked off ( we weren't together yet at that time) He has been honest with me since we started our relationship and he's trying to be a better person which is the reason why he came back to the UK for his final trial and serve prison for a year. He did the horizon and alcohol courses since the offense happened when he was drunk and taking medication.
His Sopo officer said he is not a risk. We are wondering since we only have his mum's house, is it possible to stay in one house while social services is doing the assessments? My husband has nowhere to go and that same goes with Mr since I don't know anyone in the UK.
We have been reading loads to mentally and emotionally prepare ourselves with what's to come. The only thing we want is to start our family together and try to be a "normal" family atleast. And that's our goal. That's why every reply or post I read over here is much appreciated because it helps me stay stronger. Thank you lovely ladies xx
@hpl111 Thank you for taking the time to reply on my post. You don't know how you lifted my spirits today. So it is possible to live together with safety plans in place with our 5 5 year old daughter. I guess it's just a matter of time and patience while doing the assessments because it's not going to happen overnight. It will be a rough road ahead of us but we both know we should do this for our future. I appreciate your reply and all the best for you too! xx