Back to court. Breach of SOR
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My ex got a new partner six months ago who has a child and neglected to tell SS or PPU... Or her of his offense (5 year SOR). He's now been found out and is due back in court next month with an A1/A2 breach (not too sure which one yet). He's asked me to write a character reference for court about how much our child will miss him and how good a dad he is and how when I found out about his relationship I was supportive etcetc but it's a pack of lies. He sees his child for a few hours a week and has never formed any real relationship with them and I was not happy he hadn't told SS or PPU and wouldn't let my child go with him and his partner until he'd told them and her! She's since split up with him but is providing a character reference. I don't know what to do because I know in court they're going to claim he's dad of the year to try and reduce his sentence but he barely sees them!
hi there , personally I rhink maybe he's put you through enough also if he cant come to terms with his conviction that also is not your responsibility and I think him asking you to lie for him is very irresponsible of him especially as you say its a lie so therefor no I wouldn't lie for him enough has been put on you emotionally dont take on anymore that's my personal thoughts
I would sleep on it for a couple of days and weigh up the situation. He may not be Dad of the year but he is still your child's Dad and obviously he is in the wrong for breaching his SOR but it isn't for further re-offending so the only thing I could say would be that offering a character statement could potentially reduce how much damage is done to your child's Dad's reputation/life if you understand what I'm saying.
On the flipside, it's very cheeky and why should you stretch the truth about how good of a father he is? Maybe this is an opportunity to further distance your child from a half-assed father.
You know all the ins and outs so it's hard to advise fully but hopefully you decide what is best x
On the flipside, it's very cheeky and why should you stretch the truth about how good of a father he is? Maybe this is an opportunity to further distance your child from a half-assed father.
You know all the ins and outs so it's hard to advise fully but hopefully you decide what is best x
Hi,
I wouldn't be writing a character reference to be honest. He has shown his character by breaching in this way. If he had breached due to a technical error or something similar then I may have considered writing one. In my opinion he deliberately breached and broke the trust of his new partner and yourself and put you in a very difficult position.
The point of a character reference is to show that the offence (breach in this case) is out of character which given his willingness to put all of you in this situation I would say that isn't the case. He seems to have worked along the lines of if I don't get caught it's fine which obviously for someone who clearly struggles with staying within the law is an issue. He didn't think about your child or the fallout when actively deceiving his PPU and partner.
She is probably still in shock and trying to support him whilst going through the trauma of all of this but what she knows of his character is only what he has wanted to show her and I think you know better than that. Staying true to you and what you know is my only advice. He has chosen his path, hopefully he'll learn from it but you are not responsible for him and don't owe him anything xxx
I wouldn't be writing a character reference to be honest. He has shown his character by breaching in this way. If he had breached due to a technical error or something similar then I may have considered writing one. In my opinion he deliberately breached and broke the trust of his new partner and yourself and put you in a very difficult position.
The point of a character reference is to show that the offence (breach in this case) is out of character which given his willingness to put all of you in this situation I would say that isn't the case. He seems to have worked along the lines of if I don't get caught it's fine which obviously for someone who clearly struggles with staying within the law is an issue. He didn't think about your child or the fallout when actively deceiving his PPU and partner.
She is probably still in shock and trying to support him whilst going through the trauma of all of this but what she knows of his character is only what he has wanted to show her and I think you know better than that. Staying true to you and what you know is my only advice. He has chosen his path, hopefully he'll learn from it but you are not responsible for him and don't owe him anything xxx
Dear Forum Users
We wanted to contribute to this thread to shine some light as to when and why completing character statements is appropriate for court.
Character statements are often tendered to the court to show that offending behaviour is out of character or provide further insight into some of the good things the offender may have done in the past. This meaning, the contents of them should be truthful, accurate and that you agree with what is being written in the statement.
Professionals involved will make informed judgments and decisions based on the information given to them, if inaccurate information is given then this is not fair and could have negative consequence on how individuals are safeguarded and how risk is managed. Therefore, it is really important that these statements are a true reflection of your opinion.
You should never feel obliged to complete a character statement and should only do so if you are wanting to and feel comfortable doing so. It can be difficult to say no if someone has specifically asked you to, but you have every right to do so.
We hope this clarifies the importance of character statement and the impact it can have if they are inaccurate.
Thank you again for contributing on this forum, you all add so much value and input which impacts a lot of individuals.
Take Care
The Forum Team
We wanted to contribute to this thread to shine some light as to when and why completing character statements is appropriate for court.
Character statements are often tendered to the court to show that offending behaviour is out of character or provide further insight into some of the good things the offender may have done in the past. This meaning, the contents of them should be truthful, accurate and that you agree with what is being written in the statement.
Professionals involved will make informed judgments and decisions based on the information given to them, if inaccurate information is given then this is not fair and could have negative consequence on how individuals are safeguarded and how risk is managed. Therefore, it is really important that these statements are a true reflection of your opinion.
You should never feel obliged to complete a character statement and should only do so if you are wanting to and feel comfortable doing so. It can be difficult to say no if someone has specifically asked you to, but you have every right to do so.
We hope this clarifies the importance of character statement and the impact it can have if they are inaccurate.
Thank you again for contributing on this forum, you all add so much value and input which impacts a lot of individuals.
Take Care
The Forum Team
You owe him nothing. He has willingly and knowingly breached his orders. He has started a new relationship with a woman who has a child based on lies and deception, and now he's trying to manipulate you to doing his bidding by lying to the Court. You made the brave decision to help yourself and end the relationship. Keep the ties broken.