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Fridays check in x

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Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 3:38pmReport post

Afternoon my lovlies x

Happy Friday again x I hope you are all doing as well as you can be x

This week has been ok for me at work but yesterday was a long arse day! Was in for 5.45 am and left at 19.00 thankfully they dont happen very often so shouldn't complain but my boss told me to go home early today to make up for it x

My HC is doing well, they actually managed to turn the heating off so his cell is no longer a sauna, mind you this week has been quiet chilly here and the rain! I know its April showers month but seriously!

My Babygirls Birthday is next weekend but they are away for a wedding, this is the first time I wont be seeing her :-( so tomorrow her and her boyfriend and of course the furbaby are coming over, we will go for a nice walk, and spend time together, I treated her to a haircut and colour as she wanted it done for the wedding, as a Birthday gift can you believe it cost £200 wow crazy, but she loves it, and she looks beautiful so sod the expense, I have a few little surprises for her tomorrow also ,i wont say yet as I know she often reads our posts but I will update you all on next weeks check in x

I saw this earlier today and wanted to share it with you all so sorry for such a long post today xx

To the women who has lost her spark,

To the women whose get up and go has well and truly gone

This is for you

This is to remind you that you dont have to be everything to everyone, every day,

You diddnt sign up for that,

Remember when you used to laugh, sing, throw caution to the wind ?

Remember when you used to forgive yourself more quickly for not always been perfect,

You can get that back again, you really can

That dosent mean letting people down or walking away,

It just means being Kinder to you , feeling brave enough to say no sometimes

Its remembering we are here through no fault of our own and sometimes we just get caught up and lost on this horrendous journey

Few will understand why we stay, why we want to support out loved ones, why we find strength when we wanted the ground to open up and swallow us, yet this forum is where we have found ourselves been able to cope, to survive and a place of unconditional non judgemental amazing women

When things seem impossible remember the very first time you logged on and read so many posts, when you opened up and shared your experience, and look at us now We are here for each and everyone of us xx

Dory2502

Member since
July 2023

39 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 4:43pmReport post

Thanks Upset, I really needed to read this today xx

Edited Fri April 19, 2024 4:43pm

marema2233

Member since
March 2024

30 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 4:51pmReport post

Hello Upset mum and everyone else



Your post made me tear up and made me remind myself that we are victims in all this but we are just victims that are left to find thier own way on this journey and made me realise just how lucky i am that i have found this forum. Its a journey, all of us never wanted to be on and ever imagined to be on but here we are but we are all doing it and even though sometimes we dont feel it, we are pushing through this and one day we this will be history and we can look back and realise how bloody strong we are and be proud of ourselves whether thats standing by our person or it isnt.

i hope your daughter and her boyfriend has a great time away at the wedding, have you got any plans for the weekend?

we have nothing planned tomorrow but my daughter is performing in a charity show on sunday and its over a hour away from us so it will be eventful.
Usually would see my partner (SS has closed our case with a safety plan in place until police reach a decision that he cant come in the house even during the day despite him being low risk and dont believe the children have been or ever will be at risk but Sw wants to "put the low risk aside until a decision"????) but because of the rain and we are due to have a downpour tomorrow, we've decided it would be unfair to allow the kids to walk around getting wet as weve done the museums , arcades etc. I dont drive but my partner does and before i had my youngest a couple years ago , our car gave up on us and we just didnt make a new one a priority ,fast forward to now and we just dont feel comfortable financally to get one at the moment although we do plan to get one when this nightmare is over and hes finally back home with us so we leaving it until next week which will be strange as we've seen him every weekend since the knock.

First week back at school is over for my little ones and back into the swing of those dreaded school mornings and school runs.

how is everyone else doing, stay strong....we've got this xxx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2555 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 5:37pmReport post

Hi ladies - I bet your daughter looks amazing with her new fabulous hairdo Upset....... here's hoping she has a great birthday.

An ok week for me, had a bit of a 'downer' yesterday, not quite sure why had no triggers, but hey ho that's just how it is, been ok today.

The boy is ok - busy in gardens and mowing. Keeps him outside, busy & occupied, so important to make the time pass.

We are certainly victims and suffer so much. Tortured with conflicting emotions and thoughts. Certainly is one hell of a journey but each and every day we face it and march forward together xxxxx

Edited Fri April 19, 2024 5:39pm

JustMeAndTheCat

Member since
February 2024

16 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 5:42pmReport post

Happy Friday to all. After a bit of a wobble yesterday when I went into what used to be our regular cafe before the knock. Owners are good friends but I haven't been able to go in. A cuppatee, a few tears and a natter later I came home with a spring in my step

Today was my regular volunteering day on the ward at the local hospice, oddly enough my happy place, such a friendly and supportive bunch. My feet blooming ache though, it was a busy one

I'm currently in the early stages of having the entire house redecorated. Room one is finished and I'm pleased. It's my own house, and I'm choosing exactly what I want, including expensive wallpaper!

I am listening to my kind of music, not had the telly on for days.

And the sun has been mostly shining, though I'm on the coast so a bit breezy

All in all feeling strong

What does HC stand for?

hpl111

Member since
November 2022

392 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 5:47pmReport post

@Upset mum: What a beautiful post!

I had an okay-ish day, weather was obviously beautiful, my oldest daughter got sick at nursery, so I had to pick her up. She threw up all over the sofa at home. She was okay in the end and played with her brother.

Her brother got his school place on Monday, he has a reception place at our desired primary school for September. :)

I wish you all a wonderful weekend! xx

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

438 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 5:54pmReport post

Justmeandthecat HC stands for hungry caterpillar. When Upset sees her son he eats a lot like a caterpillar.

Hello fridays check in

Last weekend I felt quite lonely. Nothing to do or people to see. I have been off work and felt the time off made me feel lost. But i have started to sort out my bedroom ready to be decoarted and walking my furbaby. Going on a long walk with furbaby and friends tomorrow so that will be nice. Feeling better about being on annual leave. Who would have thought that being off work would be a problem. I am just so tired all the time and spent most of the week feeling exhausted.

I still have wobbles about my situation but i am trying to get past it. My main worry is that I am not waiting for anything to make a decision about my future, i cant just amke one. I think it is because i dont like any of my options so it is difficult. Nothing is a good option. But the sun shinning has made things easier and hoping to enjoy another week off work. X

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 6:06pmReport post

Dory x

It's so accurate isn't it , x hope your doing ok x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 7:41pmReport post

Mare x

This journey is beyond anything we could ever imagine to be on but it's a place to find comfort and support x

No journey is the same , yet we all have unfortunately found ourselves here x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 7:46pmReport post

Smile x

She does x

Remember how far our boys have come and no matter how difficult the uncertainties are never forget we are here for them xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 7:54pmReport post

Just x

HC is the nickname given to my son the Hungry catappiler, he can eat so much on a visit so its something I update after our visit x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 7:59pmReport post

Hpl111

Hope your daughter is ok x

I hate it when our children are poorly, even though mine are a lot older a

So pleased your son got the school of your choice x

Have a lovely weekend x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 8:07pmReport post

Webb89 x.

Isn't it funny how the name resides with my journey x

Thank you for describing the HC x sent you a message x

Overwhelmed49

Member since
April 2024

45 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 8:08pmReport post

Hello everyone.

That actually made me cry.

The emotional roller coaster is something that I never experienced.

I do hope everyone is being kind to themselves.

This week I have yoyoed from denial to shear terror for the future.

But my 18 year old son, after 2 weeks of retreating into himself and not talking, has returned to us again. The biggest amount of joy this week is when he spoke to me about what's going on.

My mum has come to visit for the weekend. I can't tell her so am actually pretending everything is normal.. and for the most part it feels it is.. its given me a bit of headspace to be myself without the constant chat of what is happening.

I have survived work for another week. People have stopped asking if I am OK. My answer is always short- I'm not ok but I can't talk about it. And I can't as my work and personal life is horribly intertwined.

Ladies, I wish you a peaceful weekend. Hold on tight to those you love and hold your heads high x much love xx

Edited Fri April 19, 2024 8:10pm

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2555 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 8:32pmReport post

Hey perhaps (I say this in a light hearted way) HC should be added to the list of our abbreviations:

HC - (Hungry Caterpillar) a prison inmate who consumes as much food as possible during a prison visit to supplement the slurry provided)!!!

Edited Fri April 19, 2024 8:33pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 8:43pmReport post

Over x

I am truly sorry you have found yourself here x

How incredibly brave was your son to open up I have to say my offending son could barely uttered a few words to me before this so we all ca8 understand what you are going through xx

Overwhelmed49

Member since
April 2024

45 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 8:47pmReport post

Upset xx

My person is my husband but my son was the only other person in the house when the knock happened.

He was the one who had to ring me to tell me, having little idea of what was going on. He was the one who had to deal with an hysterical mother on the end of a phone. He was the one who kept me grounded on that day.

And then he retreated. And it broke me x

To have him back with us has been the greatest gift this week

Xxx

Edited Fri April 19, 2024 8:48pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 8:54pmReport post

Smile x

That made me chuckle xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 9:09pmReport post

Over xx

It is such a difficult journey to be on my son is the offender but to be the one to have to call and explain,I cannot imagine how difficult that was x

Dawn19

Member since
June 2023

149 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 9:09pmReport post

Hello Upset and everyone

We've had a very exciting week. On Sunday my daughter went into labour. At 4.15 Monday morning we finally welcomed my granddaughter. I was her birthing partner along with the mother of my daughter's boyfriend. My daughter has had a lot of support from her boyfriend's family, but no support from her boyfriend - in fact he hasn't seen his daughter yet. Even though my daughter is basically doing things on her own she has really taken to motherhood.

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

772 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 9:12pmReport post

Smile, I love the idea of adding HC to our list of abbreviations. I look forward to reading the list of food he's eaten after each visit.

Upset, thank you for sharing such an uplifting post and happy birthday to your daughter.

I've had a very expensive week here due to several different factors some good, some bad and some purely because I'm hopeless at reading small print and taking in the detail.

I've got several things to look forward to in the next few months, a few days away, a new conservatory and a music festival which I'll be attending with family.

I had a bad day at the start of the week when I just could not get on top of my anxiety but I am now recognising that the good days are outweighing the bad ones and that as the good days increase the bad ones decrease. I'm no longer a victim, I'm now a fighter and survivor and this thought gives me strength.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 9:52pmReport post

Dawn x

Congratulations to your daughter on the birth of your beautiful granddaughter x

How amazing to be there to see her first breath x an experience we all remember so well x

Try not to think of the oh not been there his loss

As hard as it is do not let it dampen the most beautiful time , a new life that has an amazing Nanny in her life xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 10:07pmReport post

Ocean x.

Never forget the before to the now x

Look how far you have all come

The bottomless pit, your son barely struggling to stay afloat yet he has grown stronger each day because he has you, x

I am so truly grateful that I get to share my journey, I get to share my sons experience with you all and for me and him he is not a statistic he is a person who has offended but he is a young man that needs to understand there is a community there is support xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri April 19, 2024 10:41pmReport post

Sometimes we forget who we were before this journey, we cannot remember our normal way of living but yet we find ourselves here

And yet no matter how difficult this journey is we have found ourselves here xx

Silent Sea

Member since
February 2024

17 posts

Posted Sat April 20, 2024 9:14amReport post

Hi everyone

thank you so much for all your posts and especially yours Upset Mum, it made me tear up and gave me hope.

I do agree we are victims in this but I think we are also survivors because we struggle on and there are things we can change and control at least a tiny bit. Reminding me of that gives me strength.

I had an okay week, but still I struggle a bit... my biggest issue at the moment is when I see children (in real life or on television) it triggers something in me (me and my OH don't have any children on our own). It is certainly better than at the very beginning of this journey where I would start crying seeing children on the playground I have to pass for work or just in general. I hope this will ease with time but it already has significantly.

Another hard thing to navigate, and something that I have not notice before the knock, is how people just throw around terms like abuse, grooming etc without a care in the world. I usually try to give a contradicting view but I'm also just so paranoid that people will assume that I somehow support behaviour like this if I try to bring nuance into the conversation. That's definitely something I have to work on as I progress, but one step at a time

Sending lots of love to all of you!

Inturmoil1974

Member since
November 2022

279 posts

Posted Sat April 20, 2024 4:28pmReport post

Another roller coaster week for me went back on my happy pills from the doctor as it was a mistake to suddenly just stop, oh mood has been very up and down also, I really feel like I need to get angry the now I have done nothing but support but feel the now he needs to get a grip, we have a family function tonight oh is doing overtime so won't be there, he wouldn't have come regardless but half of me is thinking maybe I shouldn't go then I think why not I have done nothing to be ashamed of.... the fear of people looking at me is totally overwhelming me the now anxiety is through the roof I am thinking even If I go for a couple hours to show face. Least I have gone.

Your words upset at the start have me in tears the now xxxx