Outcome due next week
Notifications OFF
Hello all, my OH has been informed the outcome is due next week which will be given to him when he returns to bail by the bail sergeant. I feel frustrated as my OH OIC informed him a week ago that a decision had been made but he would have to wait until he returns to bail to receive this. I thought that was rediculous that he has to wait around another week when the person he was speaking to knows his fate? As per anyone going through this process he is extremely depressed and suicidal
We have been through 5 months of absolute hell. I am also very run down currently full of cold and flu which has all been caused by stress and not sleeping properly. This is all we have been able to talk about for 5 months and it has impacted our lives forever. We have received very limited information of next steps and what to expect it’s been a waiting game of hell. I have found this forum so helpful throughout this whole process reading posts as a sense of support. Regardless of the outcome I feel I may get some peace and healing once we receive the outcome.
We have been through 5 months of absolute hell. I am also very run down currently full of cold and flu which has all been caused by stress and not sleeping properly. This is all we have been able to talk about for 5 months and it has impacted our lives forever. We have received very limited information of next steps and what to expect it’s been a waiting game of hell. I have found this forum so helpful throughout this whole process reading posts as a sense of support. Regardless of the outcome I feel I may get some peace and healing once we receive the outcome.
Hello, sorry i dont have any advice for you but i will say that i am in a similar situation.
Been 5 months for us this month and bail been pushed back twice.
he was told the date his phone was booked in and going to be downloaded, 48 hours later my parter got in touch with the OIC to see when his new date was and was given a date for May however he "shouldnt have to wait that long" and he will be in touch with a date if he can bring it forward. (personally 48 hours is quick for a phone to be downloaded and then sent to cps but i was also told if nothing was found on there then it wouldnt need any more time) so 48 hours ,the CPS must of made the decision (also very quick).
anyway he didnt hear nothing so he contacted him this week and he got an apology for not being in touch sooner but theyve struggled to find the time and space to bring him and it will stay the date hes been given and a time was confirmed unless they can do it any quicker and theyd be in touch if that was the case but they doubt it will be sooner.
i dont know what that means for us, again 48 hours from phone download for i assume a decision is quick but either way as much as i am petrified of the outcome, i am just pleased we are now starting to get closer to the end of this (hopefully), just over 2 weeks for us to wait and i dont know what to think the result could be.
i understand your frustration with the thought of someone knowing the result and making them wait, maybe its a similar to my partners, maybe theres no space to get him in any sooner to give him that result.....makes it no easier on us though or our partners.
i keep thinking if it was NFA then a letter would of been sent out in the post but have read that it can also happen at the station, i just want answers as does my partner so we can start to slowly move on and get back to being a family although it wont ever be the same as it was, i just want to make the start of a "New normal".
hoping everything goes okay for you and your OH, keep your head held up high and my inbox is always open. Your not on your own xxx
Been 5 months for us this month and bail been pushed back twice.
he was told the date his phone was booked in and going to be downloaded, 48 hours later my parter got in touch with the OIC to see when his new date was and was given a date for May however he "shouldnt have to wait that long" and he will be in touch with a date if he can bring it forward. (personally 48 hours is quick for a phone to be downloaded and then sent to cps but i was also told if nothing was found on there then it wouldnt need any more time) so 48 hours ,the CPS must of made the decision (also very quick).
anyway he didnt hear nothing so he contacted him this week and he got an apology for not being in touch sooner but theyve struggled to find the time and space to bring him and it will stay the date hes been given and a time was confirmed unless they can do it any quicker and theyd be in touch if that was the case but they doubt it will be sooner.
i dont know what that means for us, again 48 hours from phone download for i assume a decision is quick but either way as much as i am petrified of the outcome, i am just pleased we are now starting to get closer to the end of this (hopefully), just over 2 weeks for us to wait and i dont know what to think the result could be.
i understand your frustration with the thought of someone knowing the result and making them wait, maybe its a similar to my partners, maybe theres no space to get him in any sooner to give him that result.....makes it no easier on us though or our partners.
i keep thinking if it was NFA then a letter would of been sent out in the post but have read that it can also happen at the station, i just want answers as does my partner so we can start to slowly move on and get back to being a family although it wont ever be the same as it was, i just want to make the start of a "New normal".
hoping everything goes okay for you and your OH, keep your head held up high and my inbox is always open. Your not on your own xxx
Hi Marema thank you for replying. I wouldn't be shocked if we had the same officer as your situation sounds identical to mine unbelievably. It makes me so sad to think how many families are going through this. I also look out for the postman everyday hoping for a letter. I've got my fingers crossed for a positive outcome for you please let me know what happens in your situation. X
Hi to both of you and sorry you're both going through all this and the frustrations which really make all the mental health issues so much harder to deal with.
I can't possibly know what your OIC/bail sergeant meant by what they told you both and how truthful they are being but I can tell you that our experience is that in order to appear efficient and timely the police will say things making them sound like they are doing their jobs efficiently, even if it's not exactly truthful.
I hope I'm not speaking badly about them when it's not needed and accept that in your cases they could be being helpful and transparent but our experiences have shown that my suspicions and cynicism have been valid. I really get no joy from that and would love to have a better opinion of them. This was especially true when it came to bail and the date for re-bailing was approaching because who wants to admit that there has been very little progress so far? The regard for the impact on people's mental health is hardly given a thought, at least that's how it's been for us. It would be so much better to say 'I'm so sorry this is taking such a long time but it's out of our hands and do hope you and your family are coping with the distress of waiting.'
You both state you've been waiting for 5 months which at the moment seems a very short time for investigations to be finished compared with most of our experiences.
Haze - It could be that this news is that the police have finished investigating and sent all their evidence off to the CPS for their decision, which would fit with the word 'outcome', but meaning their investigating bit is concluded but you will still have a wait for the CPS decisions (not as long as the investigating bit but not in days either). I hope I'm wrong and things are getting near to a conclusion for you but I would try to prepare yourself for this being some info that will let you know things are progressing but just to the next waiting bit.
marema - you do seem to be getting the same mixed messages but about bail dates but this seems very common and ties in with my suspicion that many of the police will have their own way of making their 'clients' (can't think of a better word!) think that they are doing their job well for them. It's like the way people used to say to someone that 'the cheque is in the post' to stall for time and get off the hook in the moment. Again I hope I'm wrong in your case.
When I was growing up I was inclined to exaggerate a story and my mum had this expression which she'd use when I did that "'And the band played 'believe it if you like'!" and I've been tempted to say it more than once over the past months!!!
I can't possibly know what your OIC/bail sergeant meant by what they told you both and how truthful they are being but I can tell you that our experience is that in order to appear efficient and timely the police will say things making them sound like they are doing their jobs efficiently, even if it's not exactly truthful.
I hope I'm not speaking badly about them when it's not needed and accept that in your cases they could be being helpful and transparent but our experiences have shown that my suspicions and cynicism have been valid. I really get no joy from that and would love to have a better opinion of them. This was especially true when it came to bail and the date for re-bailing was approaching because who wants to admit that there has been very little progress so far? The regard for the impact on people's mental health is hardly given a thought, at least that's how it's been for us. It would be so much better to say 'I'm so sorry this is taking such a long time but it's out of our hands and do hope you and your family are coping with the distress of waiting.'
You both state you've been waiting for 5 months which at the moment seems a very short time for investigations to be finished compared with most of our experiences.
Haze - It could be that this news is that the police have finished investigating and sent all their evidence off to the CPS for their decision, which would fit with the word 'outcome', but meaning their investigating bit is concluded but you will still have a wait for the CPS decisions (not as long as the investigating bit but not in days either). I hope I'm wrong and things are getting near to a conclusion for you but I would try to prepare yourself for this being some info that will let you know things are progressing but just to the next waiting bit.
marema - you do seem to be getting the same mixed messages but about bail dates but this seems very common and ties in with my suspicion that many of the police will have their own way of making their 'clients' (can't think of a better word!) think that they are doing their job well for them. It's like the way people used to say to someone that 'the cheque is in the post' to stall for time and get off the hook in the moment. Again I hope I'm wrong in your case.
When I was growing up I was inclined to exaggerate a story and my mum had this expression which she'd use when I did that "'And the band played 'believe it if you like'!" and I've been tempted to say it more than once over the past months!!!
Hello, I really feel you on this one because we are in a situation where police obviously know something we don't but they won't tell us until they've completed the investigation. Each time we think we are going to hear something it gets pushed back!
I can't help but feel a lot of anger toward police for the way they treat innocent people involved in this. It almost feels sometimes like they are dragging it out and have no consideration what that does to people!
like you, I've been getting ill with all sorts it impacts so much of your life that you would never think of unless you're in that situation. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this and I hope you get answers soon ??
I can't help but feel a lot of anger toward police for the way they treat innocent people involved in this. It almost feels sometimes like they are dragging it out and have no consideration what that does to people!
like you, I've been getting ill with all sorts it impacts so much of your life that you would never think of unless you're in that situation. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this and I hope you get answers soon ??
Thank you rainy day and ocean for sharing your experiences and advise this is greatly appreciated. The OIC has confirmed this will be the outcome no more rebail etc. The file had been sent off to cps last December they requested more information and there was none to give. The OIC delayed sending this back for a number of weeks but completed a few weeks ago and we have just been waiting and waiting for months. I have felt nonstop run down and exhausted this whole time. I too do not trust them and have questioned the whole proceedings of how this has played out. We have been kept in the dark about the process and expectations were built up as we were initially told 4 weeks which seems like a joke now. It is all incredibly sad and painful.
Ah Haze your situation is horrible and sorry I misunderstood or rather assumed what might be going on for you. I get a bit triggered if I think anyone is being misled by the police and get so angry on their behalf which isn't helpful for anyone!!!!! I agree it was unnecesssay for the police officer to tell you there was news and then leave you hanging about your future. There was no need to tell you but sounds like he was just tactless rather than deceptive. Thinking of you over the next few days and hoping your health turns a corner once you know what's what and feel a bit less uncertain and anxious but do look after yourself as this ordeal is so debilitating for our physical health as well as mental xx
What you’ve been put through is awful! We were originally told my OH would get devices back within two weeks and it’s turned into months! The OIC has said to give them until the end of April which is a week now also and my anxiety is through the roof. I'm so worried that we’ll either find out he has done something or that it will be drawn out more. We’ve been kept completely in the dark the whole time as well and they wouldn’t even tell us why they were investigating (reading the warrant after they’d left is how we found out). I agree with rainyday52 it makes me so upset when I see other people going through a similar thing - I know they have to follow certain protocols but it’s an everyday thing for them and they don’t seem to understand that we’re not used to how things work so don't know what any of what they're doing actually means. It just all seems so unfair and makes you feel even more helpless on top of everything else. I’m sorry this has ended up being more of a rant but just know you’re not alone in feeling this way x