Please help I feel totally alone
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Please will you read my other post TheGiftThatKeepsonGiving?
Almost 7 years of this and I feel like I'm going crazy
I used to be on mumsnet with many of you and we always supported each other.
finally I'm really struggling, all alone.
i was about to get divorced the last time I was here.
doest this ever get easier?
do you ever see your family again?
or is this the only crime that's never forgiven?
I have posted this somewhere else. I've copied it here.
I have been here helping and hurting for over 7 years..
married 40 years with a perfect family (I thought & church friends). my life was torn apart when I got The Knock! Unknown to me my OH had been online and I am amazed I am still alive.
I wish I went to court with him but I was too sick at the time,
He had not told me the full truth and the police didn't either. They just wanted a easy conviction. They seem to treat the innocent partner worse than anything and show no empathy whatsoever. He was placed under investigation which went on 2 and a half years. He had shared pictures ABC and the police were determined to get a custodial sentence. He served 15 months prison locked up Covid and 15 months license.
No thought or help is given to the innocent partner.
scare tactics and bullying is awful.
The papers, FB, shared their stories and all hell seemed to let loose.
my car, my home was destroyed more than once as they had shared my address.
They are about to do it again!
i was prevented from seeing any of my grandchildren. I used to care for them daily.
my oldest son and myself paid for a course and weeks of councilling it was a course they do in prison.vHe did not defend himself and his barrister did not mention this. He used to work on the prosecution side. IMHO I don't think barrister ever changed.
social services interviewed all my grandchildren. She was smirking as I had taken her to court many years ago.
My partner was given a SHPO the police get what they want.
my heart goes out to each of you. My younger brother and sister died. They protected and visited me often. My partners two brothers died. We were both beref and had nobody!
my daughter started a hate campaign. I know most of what she said was lies. She tagged me in all the hunters and family and friends on facebook. I had always treated her like a queen. I will never know why she was so bad to me. I felt suicidal as I lost everything. She even told the whole LDS (Mormon) church.
if you care for someone ALWAYS go to court. If I had of gone the whole truth would of been told. My daughter only wanted Criminal Injury Compensation I was told.
she will never let me see my grandchildren again. It's over 6 years now)She helped the police to lock her dad up. He had cancer, diabetes, aortic aneurysm 4cm and a porn addiction. He was shown no mercy nor was I. I'm a religious person and my partner was banned from church forever.
i got divorced. But I went to visit every two weeks and paid money into his prison account. I knew the newspaper had sensationalised everything. They sold the story everywhere, I wouldn't wish this on any of you or the devil himself.
as if enough damage has not already been done, because he was so ill I let my ex husband live at my home and try to care for him. I was getting my home wrecked and other attacks. I asked probation, before he moved in if his name could be changed. She said yes. Now the police have sent a court order again for the magistrates. They are saying he has breeched. He thought they already knew. It was me who had to get his name changed because the police couldn't or wouldn't defend me.He is very ill and I have lost everyone. It's awful when you can't trust the police. They just want this in the papers, There is no justice. None at all. My heart is broken. This has been going on 7 years now. I never hurt a child or anyone in my life or broke the law, have never hurt anyone on purpose. Does it ever end? I now don't have a real friend in the world.
TGTKOG
Almost 7 years of this and I feel like I'm going crazy
I used to be on mumsnet with many of you and we always supported each other.
finally I'm really struggling, all alone.
i was about to get divorced the last time I was here.
doest this ever get easier?
do you ever see your family again?
or is this the only crime that's never forgiven?
I have posted this somewhere else. I've copied it here.
I have been here helping and hurting for over 7 years..
married 40 years with a perfect family (I thought & church friends). my life was torn apart when I got The Knock! Unknown to me my OH had been online and I am amazed I am still alive.
I wish I went to court with him but I was too sick at the time,
He had not told me the full truth and the police didn't either. They just wanted a easy conviction. They seem to treat the innocent partner worse than anything and show no empathy whatsoever. He was placed under investigation which went on 2 and a half years. He had shared pictures ABC and the police were determined to get a custodial sentence. He served 15 months prison locked up Covid and 15 months license.
No thought or help is given to the innocent partner.
scare tactics and bullying is awful.
The papers, FB, shared their stories and all hell seemed to let loose.
my car, my home was destroyed more than once as they had shared my address.
They are about to do it again!
i was prevented from seeing any of my grandchildren. I used to care for them daily.
my oldest son and myself paid for a course and weeks of councilling it was a course they do in prison.vHe did not defend himself and his barrister did not mention this. He used to work on the prosecution side. IMHO I don't think barrister ever changed.
social services interviewed all my grandchildren. She was smirking as I had taken her to court many years ago.
My partner was given a SHPO the police get what they want.
my heart goes out to each of you. My younger brother and sister died. They protected and visited me often. My partners two brothers died. We were both beref and had nobody!
my daughter started a hate campaign. I know most of what she said was lies. She tagged me in all the hunters and family and friends on facebook. I had always treated her like a queen. I will never know why she was so bad to me. I felt suicidal as I lost everything. She even told the whole LDS (Mormon) church.
if you care for someone ALWAYS go to court. If I had of gone the whole truth would of been told. My daughter only wanted Criminal Injury Compensation I was told.
she will never let me see my grandchildren again. It's over 6 years now)She helped the police to lock her dad up. He had cancer, diabetes, aortic aneurysm 4cm and a porn addiction. He was shown no mercy nor was I. I'm a religious person and my partner was banned from church forever.
i got divorced. But I went to visit every two weeks and paid money into his prison account. I knew the newspaper had sensationalised everything. They sold the story everywhere, I wouldn't wish this on any of you or the devil himself.
as if enough damage has not already been done, because he was so ill I let my ex husband live at my home and try to care for him. I was getting my home wrecked and other attacks. I asked probation, before he moved in if his name could be changed. She said yes. Now the police have sent a court order again for the magistrates. They are saying he has breeched. He thought they already knew. It was me who had to get his name changed because the police couldn't or wouldn't defend me.He is very ill and I have lost everyone. It's awful when you can't trust the police. They just want this in the papers, There is no justice. None at all. My heart is broken. This has been going on 7 years now. I never hurt a child or anyone in my life or broke the law, have never hurt anyone on purpose. Does it ever end? I now don't have a real friend in the world.
TGTKOG
Oh The Gift, what a heart breaking story, I'm so sorry you are feeling so alone, my heart goes out to you. 7 years is such a long time to have been struggling with this. I don't really have any advice for you but I wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I'm here for you and so are the other people on this forum.
I don't know whether you've already done so but you might want to think about contacting the LFF help line as they may be able to advise you on your persons breach and they may be able to sign post you to other places of support.
I don't know whether you've already done so but you might want to think about contacting the LFF help line as they may be able to advise you on your persons breach and they may be able to sign post you to other places of support.
Hi, I'm about 7 years in too and the ex is about to go to prison for the second time. Does it get easier? In all honesty, in my world, no. I'm terrified of my neighbours finding out again who and what he is. I'm paralysed with fear. Like you, I thought I had the perfect life, always broke but my ex and I were best friends for over 30 years, married for 20. I was staggered when I found out what he'd been doing when the 7am knock came. The shock was immense. we have 4 now adult kids but 2 is them were 12 and 14 at the time. I've lost everything because of him. I've lost my health, my husband, my best friend, my carer, my financial stability (surviving on benefits now), and, the worst part, my three daughters no longer speak to me.
I hear you. It's so incredibly unfair. Oh, and the bullying by the Police and SS's, yup, that too. XX
I hear you. It's so incredibly unfair. Oh, and the bullying by the Police and SS's, yup, that too. XX