Advice needed SS risk assessment before birth
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So after some advice please, so long story short!! My son was arrested 3 years ago and sentenced almost a year ago, he got 2 year suspended, 10 years on SOR & SHPO. His partner has been amazing & stuck by him through all of this and she is now pregnant and expecting their first child in less than two weeks.
They have now said to me that they had to give social services some names of family members to contact so they have given mine. So anyone have any ideas of what they are going to ask, I'm petrified of the outcome of their assessment!!
Also they have asked if I can attend a meeting with them in front of the experts, not quite sure what it is or what it means or what will happen,
Can anyone give us any advice please? I'm going out of my mind with worry! It's like waiting for the sentencing all over again & not knowing the outcome all over again!!
They have now said to me that they had to give social services some names of family members to contact so they have given mine. So anyone have any ideas of what they are going to ask, I'm petrified of the outcome of their assessment!!
Also they have asked if I can attend a meeting with them in front of the experts, not quite sure what it is or what it means or what will happen,
Can anyone give us any advice please? I'm going out of my mind with worry! It's like waiting for the sentencing all over again & not knowing the outcome all over again!!
@Sademma
Hi,
welcome to the forum and I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation.
Can you ask your son and his partner if the meeting is a child protection conference?
If so, the professionals attending that meeting will be a representative of the police, there most likely be a social worker, the midwife and a couple of other people.
They will decide during the meeting, if the threshold of risk is reached to put the baby on the child protection register and make it subject to a child protection plan.
I think they would be happy for you to attend as well as they want to know about the supportive family network.
You can take an advocate to that meeting as well.
I hope someone more knowledgeable will be around soon to give you more information.
All the best xx
Hi,
welcome to the forum and I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation.
Can you ask your son and his partner if the meeting is a child protection conference?
If so, the professionals attending that meeting will be a representative of the police, there most likely be a social worker, the midwife and a couple of other people.
They will decide during the meeting, if the threshold of risk is reached to put the baby on the child protection register and make it subject to a child protection plan.
I think they would be happy for you to attend as well as they want to know about the supportive family network.
You can take an advocate to that meeting as well.
I hope someone more knowledgeable will be around soon to give you more information.
All the best xx
Hi,
I think it's to get a picture of the family support network in order to come up with a safety plan for baby. My in laws were part of my safety plan initially so that I could catch up on sleep/housework and he would still be supervised with baby.
They will mostly want to know that you are aware of the offending and what things need to be put in place to keep baby safe. There's loads of information about safety plans on here if you'd like to share them with your son and his partner to help them produce a plan ahead of the meeting.
Although it feels daunting try to go in there relaxed and keeping things factual rather than emotional especially when talking about risks. It is unlikely that your son poses much risk to his own child but ss work on possibility so they may inflate the risk that your grandchild is at. As first time parents ss won't have anything to base their assessments on other than what the family support network looks like.
What is the plan for once baby is here? Does your son have to move out? Something I've pushed for in my discussions with ss is unlimited supervised contact as I feel that allows us to have the most normal life. The first social worker suggested a day and timeslot and the frequency but I requested that I am able to decide all of those things to work around everything else I had going on, midwife visits etc. Social worker was actually quite accepting of mine and my child's right to a normal life.
Try to relax and allow yourself to enjoy your grandchild. Happy to receive messages if you need any further support around safety plans etc xxx
Edited; does your son have a no contact clause in his SHPO? Is he still under probation? If so are his probation officer and offender manager supportive of him and his partner? They can be incredibly helpful if they are as ss pay attention to their assessments xxx
I think it's to get a picture of the family support network in order to come up with a safety plan for baby. My in laws were part of my safety plan initially so that I could catch up on sleep/housework and he would still be supervised with baby.
They will mostly want to know that you are aware of the offending and what things need to be put in place to keep baby safe. There's loads of information about safety plans on here if you'd like to share them with your son and his partner to help them produce a plan ahead of the meeting.
Although it feels daunting try to go in there relaxed and keeping things factual rather than emotional especially when talking about risks. It is unlikely that your son poses much risk to his own child but ss work on possibility so they may inflate the risk that your grandchild is at. As first time parents ss won't have anything to base their assessments on other than what the family support network looks like.
What is the plan for once baby is here? Does your son have to move out? Something I've pushed for in my discussions with ss is unlimited supervised contact as I feel that allows us to have the most normal life. The first social worker suggested a day and timeslot and the frequency but I requested that I am able to decide all of those things to work around everything else I had going on, midwife visits etc. Social worker was actually quite accepting of mine and my child's right to a normal life.
Try to relax and allow yourself to enjoy your grandchild. Happy to receive messages if you need any further support around safety plans etc xxx
Edited; does your son have a no contact clause in his SHPO? Is he still under probation? If so are his probation officer and offender manager supportive of him and his partner? They can be incredibly helpful if they are as ss pay attention to their assessments xxx
Thank you so much to both hpl111 & Distressed & Pregnant fortaking time out to reply to me
So I had the call today from social services today asking asking me if I knew about my son's conviction & if I could move in with them temporarily for when they come from hospital with the baby, I said that's not possible as I work full time & live half an hour away! She also said could my son live with me, meaning his partner would be at home with a new baby all on her own, so I said could they stay with us too, she said it was a possibility with my partners permission & they would have to do poii look ce checks on us, which is not a problem.
She invited me to a child protection conference next Wednesday, I'm so nervous & not sure what to expect!! The biggest problem we face is my son's partner has not told her parents about the conviction & says she definitely doesn't want to, so the ss are worried she hasn't got their support, so I feel everything falls to me for support!
Can I ask hpl111 what is the Child Protection Register & Plan?
Can I ask Distressed & Pregnant how we do a safety plan & what sort of things can we put on there please? How & when did you ask for unsupervised contact, as they are saying it's possible he will have to have supervised at all times which I'm scared of as his partner will feel like a single parent!! He is on probation till August & yes probation & PPU seem to be supportive towards hun so really hope this helps!
The conference is next week & baby is due week after, so feels it's been left very last minute! Will we get told at the conference the outcome? Also does anyone know who will be at the conference?
I'm going out of my with worry, can anyone help please xx
So I had the call today from social services today asking asking me if I knew about my son's conviction & if I could move in with them temporarily for when they come from hospital with the baby, I said that's not possible as I work full time & live half an hour away! She also said could my son live with me, meaning his partner would be at home with a new baby all on her own, so I said could they stay with us too, she said it was a possibility with my partners permission & they would have to do poii look ce checks on us, which is not a problem.
She invited me to a child protection conference next Wednesday, I'm so nervous & not sure what to expect!! The biggest problem we face is my son's partner has not told her parents about the conviction & says she definitely doesn't want to, so the ss are worried she hasn't got their support, so I feel everything falls to me for support!
Can I ask hpl111 what is the Child Protection Register & Plan?
Can I ask Distressed & Pregnant how we do a safety plan & what sort of things can we put on there please? How & when did you ask for unsupervised contact, as they are saying it's possible he will have to have supervised at all times which I'm scared of as his partner will feel like a single parent!! He is on probation till August & yes probation & PPU seem to be supportive towards hun so really hope this helps!
The conference is next week & baby is due week after, so feels it's been left very last minute! Will we get told at the conference the outcome? Also does anyone know who will be at the conference?
I'm going out of my with worry, can anyone help please xx
Hi,
It certainly does feel very last minute. How awful to put this stress on you all but particularly on a heavily pregnant woman. It also isn't an ideal situation to have you all living together when it seems to just be to cover the nights if you work full time anyway.
Our daughter is 3 and I still supervise contact and we don't live together, this is a preference due to our family circumstances rather than a requirement from social services though.
What work have your son and his partner done into understanding his offending and things that can be put in place when either of them recognise triggers? The reason ss would be concerned about her parents not knowing about your sons offending is because they won't be looking out for signs of abuse rather than they won't be supporting their daughter. My in laws were the only ones who ever met with a social worker because they live closer but my parents still form part of my support network in an unofficial capacity. This might be the same for your sons partner depending on her relationship with her parents.
Keep the safety plan basic while baby is small;
-supervised at all times -mom to sleep in the same room as baby -no personal care to be done by dad -no devices around whilst baby is being bathed or changed
factor in things like mom needing rest, will there be times where you can take over supervision so she can sleep? Your son looking after her and the house to allow her to focus on baby needs. This should help with the feeling of being a single mother.
You should also consider how the plan will change as little one grows; ours currently has the start of pants work and privacy. I'd advise to go to a couple of baby groups a week too once she feels able to, there will be safeguarding leads at these groups and I found it put my mind at ease to know that if I ever needed someone to give an account of how I am with my daughter I'd have someone who actual knows us. I've never needed it but I just felt better knowing I had the option.
If his probation and PPU have assessed him as low risk then yours might not need to be as full on as mine is, our daughter was born the week of sentencing so we had a lot of unknowns. We've never been on a child in need or child protection but I think that's more to do with the fact my older children are a lot older and were able to give an actual account of my parenting.
If you look up their local authority child services there should be details on there about the threshold for each plan. They will be in a different position to me as it's their first child so nothing to evidence their parenting. Sorry for the overload. I hope everything goes well on Wednesday xx
It certainly does feel very last minute. How awful to put this stress on you all but particularly on a heavily pregnant woman. It also isn't an ideal situation to have you all living together when it seems to just be to cover the nights if you work full time anyway.
Our daughter is 3 and I still supervise contact and we don't live together, this is a preference due to our family circumstances rather than a requirement from social services though.
What work have your son and his partner done into understanding his offending and things that can be put in place when either of them recognise triggers? The reason ss would be concerned about her parents not knowing about your sons offending is because they won't be looking out for signs of abuse rather than they won't be supporting their daughter. My in laws were the only ones who ever met with a social worker because they live closer but my parents still form part of my support network in an unofficial capacity. This might be the same for your sons partner depending on her relationship with her parents.
Keep the safety plan basic while baby is small;
-supervised at all times -mom to sleep in the same room as baby -no personal care to be done by dad -no devices around whilst baby is being bathed or changed
factor in things like mom needing rest, will there be times where you can take over supervision so she can sleep? Your son looking after her and the house to allow her to focus on baby needs. This should help with the feeling of being a single mother.
You should also consider how the plan will change as little one grows; ours currently has the start of pants work and privacy. I'd advise to go to a couple of baby groups a week too once she feels able to, there will be safeguarding leads at these groups and I found it put my mind at ease to know that if I ever needed someone to give an account of how I am with my daughter I'd have someone who actual knows us. I've never needed it but I just felt better knowing I had the option.
If his probation and PPU have assessed him as low risk then yours might not need to be as full on as mine is, our daughter was born the week of sentencing so we had a lot of unknowns. We've never been on a child in need or child protection but I think that's more to do with the fact my older children are a lot older and were able to give an actual account of my parenting.
If you look up their local authority child services there should be details on there about the threshold for each plan. They will be in a different position to me as it's their first child so nothing to evidence their parenting. Sorry for the overload. I hope everything goes well on Wednesday xx