Any help or advice would be welcome
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Hi All
We got woken with a 6am knock on August 29th and this has been the longest and hardest time in my life there are just so many doubts and questions. My Husband was arrested on suspicion of accessing indecent images of children and taken away. Two police stayed with me with a warrant to search for devices which they did. They then left me stating someone would be in touch to let me know what was happening. Four hours later I got a call saying my Hisband was bailed to his Dads address and would be brought home to collect keys.
They actually dropped him off saying he could be at home but was to have no unsupervised contact with anyone under 18 and was not to sleep at home he was allowed to get a new phone and internet access.
His story was he had been looking on Limewire for films and had decided to look for porn (totally out of charector) I have known this man for 19 years and he has never been interested in porn. He swears he did not search for children child or young just the word blowjob. He then clicked to download about 20 files as these became available he opened them the 1st he was faced with a naked child as was the 2nd 3rd 4th and 5th. But then the 6th was a video of a child being made to give a blowjob. He says at this point he realised this was not what he was looking for and he deleted the opened files the ones still downloading and the actual site he then cleared his laptop an did a clean up of the system I asked why he did that and he says that it was because he didn’t want anyone to find what he had seen. He says he then tried to forget about it until the knock came when he couldn’t forget anymore. He swears this was the first and only time he has done this.
I work for Social Care myself and so this has been reported to my work and I had to speak to my managers.
Social Care visited me and my daughter who is 12 they said they would have to return to put a working agreement into place for contact etc they said they would return the next day this was three weeks ago.
My husband is due to return to police re bail date on Thursday
does anybody have any thoughts guidance or support they could offer to me I’m just very very upset and confused at the moment
We got woken with a 6am knock on August 29th and this has been the longest and hardest time in my life there are just so many doubts and questions. My Husband was arrested on suspicion of accessing indecent images of children and taken away. Two police stayed with me with a warrant to search for devices which they did. They then left me stating someone would be in touch to let me know what was happening. Four hours later I got a call saying my Hisband was bailed to his Dads address and would be brought home to collect keys.
They actually dropped him off saying he could be at home but was to have no unsupervised contact with anyone under 18 and was not to sleep at home he was allowed to get a new phone and internet access.
His story was he had been looking on Limewire for films and had decided to look for porn (totally out of charector) I have known this man for 19 years and he has never been interested in porn. He swears he did not search for children child or young just the word blowjob. He then clicked to download about 20 files as these became available he opened them the 1st he was faced with a naked child as was the 2nd 3rd 4th and 5th. But then the 6th was a video of a child being made to give a blowjob. He says at this point he realised this was not what he was looking for and he deleted the opened files the ones still downloading and the actual site he then cleared his laptop an did a clean up of the system I asked why he did that and he says that it was because he didn’t want anyone to find what he had seen. He says he then tried to forget about it until the knock came when he couldn’t forget anymore. He swears this was the first and only time he has done this.
I work for Social Care myself and so this has been reported to my work and I had to speak to my managers.
Social Care visited me and my daughter who is 12 they said they would have to return to put a working agreement into place for contact etc they said they would return the next day this was three weeks ago.
My husband is due to return to police re bail date on Thursday
does anybody have any thoughts guidance or support they could offer to me I’m just very very upset and confused at the moment
Hi Jdx Jdx
Sorry you have had to find yourself here. I initially came here looking for a magic answer to all my questions as well but sadly the only thing it seems we can do is wait.
All I will say is make sure you take care of yourself. You have a potentially long and difficult road to navigate and you will need every ounce of strength you can muster to do so.
Lots of love xx
Sorry you have had to find yourself here. I initially came here looking for a magic answer to all my questions as well but sadly the only thing it seems we can do is wait.
All I will say is make sure you take care of yourself. You have a potentially long and difficult road to navigate and you will need every ounce of strength you can muster to do so.
Lots of love xx
Hi jdx jdx
Firstly I would like to say I am sorry your having to go through this xx
I am nearly a year to my knock and like you I have children involved as well and it is so hard. With the children services side of it from my experience I have had to chase them so much to get things in place I feel that because my husband is not at the home address and that they said I am doing such a good job with the kids we kinda got put on the shelf. My husband went to prison for his offence of downloading images (a very high number of images) and children services where ment to do a assessment on my mother in law so she could help out with contact when he was released back in June they had four months to sort this but instead closed the case because there was no issues on the children's safety. I would suggest to keep on at them to get things in place I also worked with action for children (not sure if the service is available in all of the uk I am in North Wales) I self referred to do some keep safe work with the children and also done some work one on one psycho educational work around the crime and this has helped me with not only keeping the children safe in the eyes of children's services (not that I would ever put my children at harms way') but it also answered questions that at the time my husband could not give me. Your not alone this site is a good life line in these dark days and it will get better in time just keep on at the services and make sure they keep doing what they should xxx
Firstly I would like to say I am sorry your having to go through this xx
I am nearly a year to my knock and like you I have children involved as well and it is so hard. With the children services side of it from my experience I have had to chase them so much to get things in place I feel that because my husband is not at the home address and that they said I am doing such a good job with the kids we kinda got put on the shelf. My husband went to prison for his offence of downloading images (a very high number of images) and children services where ment to do a assessment on my mother in law so she could help out with contact when he was released back in June they had four months to sort this but instead closed the case because there was no issues on the children's safety. I would suggest to keep on at them to get things in place I also worked with action for children (not sure if the service is available in all of the uk I am in North Wales) I self referred to do some keep safe work with the children and also done some work one on one psycho educational work around the crime and this has helped me with not only keeping the children safe in the eyes of children's services (not that I would ever put my children at harms way') but it also answered questions that at the time my husband could not give me. Your not alone this site is a good life line in these dark days and it will get better in time just keep on at the services and make sure they keep doing what they should xxx
Hi JDX JDX,
So sorry that you are in this situation but as you can see you are not alone. If there is one thing I have learned is that the wheels turn very slowly. We are 18 months post knock and my husband has just been charged. He is pleading not guilty but this in some ways makes life harder as people seem to presume guilt and I have a feeling that social worker and police think I am brainwashed.
However I choose to believe my husband and I am not sure how they can say it is him when it was a shared computer.
i know exactly how you are feeling and some days I am crippled by the situation and other days I almost forget about it.
I have no words of wisdom but we are all here for you and understand with no judgement.
Cornish Tea xx
So sorry that you are in this situation but as you can see you are not alone. If there is one thing I have learned is that the wheels turn very slowly. We are 18 months post knock and my husband has just been charged. He is pleading not guilty but this in some ways makes life harder as people seem to presume guilt and I have a feeling that social worker and police think I am brainwashed.
However I choose to believe my husband and I am not sure how they can say it is him when it was a shared computer.
i know exactly how you are feeling and some days I am crippled by the situation and other days I almost forget about it.
I have no words of wisdom but we are all here for you and understand with no judgement.
Cornish Tea xx