Safeguarding plans unrelated to offence
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Hello,
My partner has just received his sexual harm risk assessment report back and he's been marked as low risk in all areas. Risk level will rise if he begins to use pornography again (as it was because of a porn addiction that he offended in the first place). They have said he can have unsupervised contact with our boys and he would only pose a 'risk' to a daughter, if ever we were to have one, when she becomes a teenager as he admitted to teen pornography as one of his 'go-tos'.
It's suggested that the CIN plan stays in place and the safeguarding plan being edited with the only safeguard being no personal care involved in our boys. I'm happy to oblige, but feel their reasoning for this is too OTT. Basically it's been put in place because he admitted to watching anal pornography. His offence was a single isolated incident of almost purchasing 0-14 images of girls. He received a caution and 2 years on the SOR because in the messages there was a compilation of images showcasing what he could buy. I find it hard to understand how he's low risk relating to his offence, but they're concerned about personal care because of his previous viewing of anal porn. He's been clean from porn for a year now, since his arrest. I understand he could relapse, as with any addiction, but it's unfair to say that he could harm our boys during nappy changes because of a preference for a porn category alone?
I'm also slightly concerned that she's stated that the children should be age-appropriately aware of the safeguarding in place and why it's there. And this should grow as they age. Up until this point we have managed to hide his offence and the safeguarding plans have just fallen into place without questions from the kids (aged 5 and 2 currently). I don't want any unnecessary trauma to be caused to them by SS divulging his offence as they age. I'm very disappointed that this seems like it will be an ongoing involvement from SS for many years, after being told they could 'step away' and 'things could go back to normal' if my partner's risk level is low. I'm yet to have contact from our actual social worker, but I feel like she'll take the report and keep us under a plan for eternity.
I don't really know what to get from this post. I feel a bit lost really as the detective on the case chalked his offence up to a 'drunken mistake' and said there should be no reason things couldn't go back to normal. I want to keep my kids safe, but on reasonable grounds. I definitely don't want them having any kind of trauma from this either :(
My partner has just received his sexual harm risk assessment report back and he's been marked as low risk in all areas. Risk level will rise if he begins to use pornography again (as it was because of a porn addiction that he offended in the first place). They have said he can have unsupervised contact with our boys and he would only pose a 'risk' to a daughter, if ever we were to have one, when she becomes a teenager as he admitted to teen pornography as one of his 'go-tos'.
It's suggested that the CIN plan stays in place and the safeguarding plan being edited with the only safeguard being no personal care involved in our boys. I'm happy to oblige, but feel their reasoning for this is too OTT. Basically it's been put in place because he admitted to watching anal pornography. His offence was a single isolated incident of almost purchasing 0-14 images of girls. He received a caution and 2 years on the SOR because in the messages there was a compilation of images showcasing what he could buy. I find it hard to understand how he's low risk relating to his offence, but they're concerned about personal care because of his previous viewing of anal porn. He's been clean from porn for a year now, since his arrest. I understand he could relapse, as with any addiction, but it's unfair to say that he could harm our boys during nappy changes because of a preference for a porn category alone?
I'm also slightly concerned that she's stated that the children should be age-appropriately aware of the safeguarding in place and why it's there. And this should grow as they age. Up until this point we have managed to hide his offence and the safeguarding plans have just fallen into place without questions from the kids (aged 5 and 2 currently). I don't want any unnecessary trauma to be caused to them by SS divulging his offence as they age. I'm very disappointed that this seems like it will be an ongoing involvement from SS for many years, after being told they could 'step away' and 'things could go back to normal' if my partner's risk level is low. I'm yet to have contact from our actual social worker, but I feel like she'll take the report and keep us under a plan for eternity.
I don't really know what to get from this post. I feel a bit lost really as the detective on the case chalked his offence up to a 'drunken mistake' and said there should be no reason things couldn't go back to normal. I want to keep my kids safe, but on reasonable grounds. I definitely don't want them having any kind of trauma from this either :(
Hi,
a couple of things that stood out to me in your post that I thought I'd offer suggestions to;
would you consider an app that flags up pornography use to you as a deterrent from relapsing? As porn addiction is so secretive it may be a way of you mitigating that possible increase in risk.
The point around the children being aware of safeguarding plans and why they are in place is understandable to an extent but at their ages it's not something that is appropriate for some years and is possibly worded poorly. There are some books that may be appropriate for your older child; "Your body belongs to you" and "My body belongs to me".
I plan on disclosing to my daughter around 10 depending on her emotional maturity and level of understanding. Nobody can force you to disclose before your children are ready in your eyes. I can understand that it takes away the secrecy side of things if your children are aware but it also needs to be done in a considered way that is right for each child not just something written into a safety plan by someone who doesn't know them as individuals.
In terms of the porn preference and personal care for your sons, I'm not sure that it makes sense as the offending episode was girls rather than boys and I presume the adult pornography depicting anal sex was also on females too. I think the social worker has let their own views in on that one as homosexual males would most likely watch only watch pornography depicting that and would be able to do personal care for any child in their care without question.
They can't keep you on a child in need plan indefinitely, you may be able to find timescales on your local authorities child services pages online. There must be clear goals to be achieved whilst you're on it. Feel free to message me if you'd like clarification on anything I've said, I have a tendency to ramble xx
a couple of things that stood out to me in your post that I thought I'd offer suggestions to;
would you consider an app that flags up pornography use to you as a deterrent from relapsing? As porn addiction is so secretive it may be a way of you mitigating that possible increase in risk.
The point around the children being aware of safeguarding plans and why they are in place is understandable to an extent but at their ages it's not something that is appropriate for some years and is possibly worded poorly. There are some books that may be appropriate for your older child; "Your body belongs to you" and "My body belongs to me".
I plan on disclosing to my daughter around 10 depending on her emotional maturity and level of understanding. Nobody can force you to disclose before your children are ready in your eyes. I can understand that it takes away the secrecy side of things if your children are aware but it also needs to be done in a considered way that is right for each child not just something written into a safety plan by someone who doesn't know them as individuals.
In terms of the porn preference and personal care for your sons, I'm not sure that it makes sense as the offending episode was girls rather than boys and I presume the adult pornography depicting anal sex was also on females too. I think the social worker has let their own views in on that one as homosexual males would most likely watch only watch pornography depicting that and would be able to do personal care for any child in their care without question.
They can't keep you on a child in need plan indefinitely, you may be able to find timescales on your local authorities child services pages online. There must be clear goals to be achieved whilst you're on it. Feel free to message me if you'd like clarification on anything I've said, I have a tendency to ramble xx
Thank you for such a quick response! I have the Accountable2You app installed on his phone and have done since June last year. That was also mentioned as part of safeguarding, for the app to be continued in use.
I'll have a look at those books you've suggested. I've shown my eldest the PANTS video and whenever I can I teach him about consent, tell him that only he can touch his willy (he washes himself when I bathe him) etc. I think perhaps one day far in the future (around 12/13 probably) I will disclose to them what their dad did, but to teach them more about the dangers of porn addiction as it's something I really wouldn't want them to find themselves stuck in. I'm just afraid now that SS will try to disclose it on their timeline.
The adult pornography depicting anal sex was on females yes. It's just rubbish to assume that his preferences for legal porn would be a risk for contact offending. I'd understand if his offence included boys or something related with anal, but it was isolated to girls.
I would hope they wouldn't keep us on a CIN plan indefinitely, but the report suggests that they'll stay involved up until at least the teenage years (where they want to re-risk assess my partner to check he won't be a risk to any teen girls that our boys might bring home). It also says that concerns would be raised if we didn't comply with them or if we didn't allow them to speak to our children alone. Plus that whilst the children grow up, the workers (so I'm guessing SS), ensure they have knowledge of the safeguarding and reasons why. Is it possible they'd drop the CIN plan but stay involved in order to carry those things out until they're adults?
I'll have a look at those books you've suggested. I've shown my eldest the PANTS video and whenever I can I teach him about consent, tell him that only he can touch his willy (he washes himself when I bathe him) etc. I think perhaps one day far in the future (around 12/13 probably) I will disclose to them what their dad did, but to teach them more about the dangers of porn addiction as it's something I really wouldn't want them to find themselves stuck in. I'm just afraid now that SS will try to disclose it on their timeline.
The adult pornography depicting anal sex was on females yes. It's just rubbish to assume that his preferences for legal porn would be a risk for contact offending. I'd understand if his offence included boys or something related with anal, but it was isolated to girls.
I would hope they wouldn't keep us on a CIN plan indefinitely, but the report suggests that they'll stay involved up until at least the teenage years (where they want to re-risk assess my partner to check he won't be a risk to any teen girls that our boys might bring home). It also says that concerns would be raised if we didn't comply with them or if we didn't allow them to speak to our children alone. Plus that whilst the children grow up, the workers (so I'm guessing SS), ensure they have knowledge of the safeguarding and reasons why. Is it possible they'd drop the CIN plan but stay involved in order to carry those things out until they're adults?
https://frg.org.uk/get-help-and-advice/what/child-in-need/do-families-have-to-accept-the-help-or-services-offered/
I've found this on the family rights group. You could ask what support/services they have in mind for your family that you can't access yourself as your children grow and you decide they are ready for disclosure.
You could also ask for the research they are using for contact offending and porn preferences in legal pornography xx
I've found this on the family rights group. You could ask what support/services they have in mind for your family that you can't access yourself as your children grow and you decide they are ready for disclosure.
You could also ask for the research they are using for contact offending and porn preferences in legal pornography xx
Honestly, they cannot keep you on a child in need plan for eternity. They're not legally allowed to do this, as it would go beyond intervening at the lowest level possible to keep children safe. They will close once all plans are agreed. Plus, child in need is voluntary so once agreed you can close yourself. They would not have threshold to go to child protection if you are following their plans, using the app and the rest of the involved professionals believe the risk to be very low.
I'd be fascinated to know how they intend to remember to assess again when your kids are teenagers and you'd be within your rights to decline.
Also, if for example you moved house to a different area and therefore moved local authority, after he closes to probation, the SW team wouldn't know about you, because how could they. Equally if you stay in the area, in 10 years your social worker and manager will probably have left. No one will be checking case notes from ten years ago!
What they may mean is that the voluntarily agreed safety plan stands 'forever' and if you want it changed you'd have to re-refer yourselves in for further assessment. Again, this is voluntary at this level of social work intervention so you could decline the service.
You are also perfectly entitled to never tell your children about the offence if that's what you want.
I'd be fascinated to know how they intend to remember to assess again when your kids are teenagers and you'd be within your rights to decline.
Also, if for example you moved house to a different area and therefore moved local authority, after he closes to probation, the SW team wouldn't know about you, because how could they. Equally if you stay in the area, in 10 years your social worker and manager will probably have left. No one will be checking case notes from ten years ago!
What they may mean is that the voluntarily agreed safety plan stands 'forever' and if you want it changed you'd have to re-refer yourselves in for further assessment. Again, this is voluntary at this level of social work intervention so you could decline the service.
You are also perfectly entitled to never tell your children about the offence if that's what you want.