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Will my children have phone contact with dad in prison

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Ginluver

Member since
April 2023

68 posts

Posted Sat April 27, 2024 12:19pmReport post

Hi my ex partner was sentenced to jail only a few days ago and the kids have been told they won't be seeing dad for a while, I'm hoping they will be able to chat to him over the phone soon is this likely? As I've heard it could take ages to get permission for this or does it depend on there charges? No one has heard from him since he got sent to prison no phone call or anything to his parents whom he would call. Just worried the kids are going be keep asking when they can talk to dad as when I had the chat with them I said he could probably still chat on phone at some point to them am I now going have to take that back and say you won't be able to chat to dad for a long time? It's so heartbreaking for them as been seeing him every weekend supervised contact.

hpl111

Member since
November 2022

392 posts

Posted Sat April 27, 2024 12:55pmReport post

@Ginluver

I am so sorry xx

Unfortunately I don't have any experience of prison (yet).

Can I just ask how long he got?

You know that he most likely only has to do 50 % of his sentence? He could be out in no time xx

Dragonmama

Member since
November 2022

251 posts

Posted Sat April 27, 2024 1:07pmReport post

The prison should send you a form to fill in about what type of contact you wish (call/letters/visits) I personally only ticked call and letters as I didn't feel prison was a place to take my kids, but each to their own.



from there they must have a social services assessment, a in house assessment and the governor gets the final word.

my kids were never allowed any type of contact because ss decided to balls up the assessment.

hes in for communication offence with one decoy and was never allowed contact of any kind by my kids.

more peculiar was his ex managed to send in Xmas cards etc from his other children without having to go through the whole process I had to.

dont use my case as an example though, fill out the form and you will need passport pics of the kids too. Hope this helps and with any luck you get your children contact xx

Ginluver

Member since
April 2023

68 posts

Posted Sat April 27, 2024 2:31pmReport post

He got a 28 month sentence, a lot of people thought it would be suspended due to being first offence and it being online offences rather than any physical contact made with a child. Just worried how long before that will happen and the process being difficult so that the kids can have a simple regular phone call with him as that's all I can Face as don't want trips to prison with them to see him. Just full of some many questions now that I don't feel anyone official has given me the answer too. X

AnxiousGirl

Member since
December 2023

222 posts

Posted Sat April 27, 2024 2:46pmReport post

I didn't get any contact from the prison. To be fair they are about as shit with the families as the police are.

Took about a week for a phone call. Think many prisons have phones in the cells.

I could email for which there was a charge.

Found out afterwards I could have done video calls - not that I think I would have taken them up on the offer.

Didn't visit due to the distance the prison was from myself.

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

438 posts

Posted Sat April 27, 2024 4:30pmReport post

My OH was on remand for three weeks but we dont have small children. It took about a week and a half for the first call. He had to let them know the numbers he wanted to call. They then, after a while, the prison rang me to say that was i ok with calls but did make sure that i was over 18. But there is email a prisoner service, just google it. You may need to just check the prison they are in supports this. Perhaps you could check with the SS the children could perhaps draw him pictures to send to him. The email a prisoner is quicker than calls and you pay for the email and for the reply. It allows pictures to be sent to the prisoner. Not sure if this would help you. But it would mean the children could converse with their dad this way. The prison service obviously will have access to the email as at my OH prison they printed them out to hand to the prisoner. So it can take a couple of days to get a reply. No one told me what i could do nor any of the processes. I had to find it out myself.



Hope this helps. DM if you need to. X

Ginluver

Member since
April 2023

68 posts

Posted Sat April 27, 2024 6:56pmReport post

Thanks for everyone's support and information. Just feels so worrying not been told what to expect or what will happen now after his sentencing feel like been left to just get on with everything like telling the children wondering what is going to happen with contact etc so many things to think about.

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2555 posts

Posted Sat April 27, 2024 7:44pmReport post

Not sure on rules as regards contact with children but my son made a call very quickly from all of the four prisons he's been in. Obviously you have to agree to accept calls. Some prisoners have phones in their 'pads' but my son chooses to use the corridor phone.

E mailing is very easy once you have their prison number, it's cheap compared to cost of postage and they receive it much quicker. Although I can send my son photo prints - i cannot e mail photos (prisons differ on this rule).

I have heard prisons have family visiting rooms (?) perhaps others can help you on this one....

Edited Sun April 28, 2024 5:35am

LittleRobin3

Member since
April 2024

288 posts

Posted Sun April 28, 2024 10:12amReport post

Hi, my youngest were 12 and 14 when my ex first went to prison. They weren't allowed ANY contact whatsoever, not allowed to visit, not allowed phone calls and when they wrote to him, the prison sent their letters back to them. The thing is, when I visited him in prison, the visiting hall was FULL of kids visiting other prisoners. In my case, the Police were satisfied that he hadn't offended in person, his crimes were all online. To this day, seven years on, it had a devastating effect on my younger kids. How do you explain that he can't even phone them? What was even worse was that my older two aged 18 and 19 were free to visit whenever they liked. It just felt so unfair.
The only thing I can suggest you do is get your kids a memory book each. Then they can put things in there that they want their Dad to know or see about what they've been up to in every day life etc. Explain that one day their Dad will be able to see the book. I'd also get them counselling though their schools if you can. X

Emeraldrose

Member since
August 2021

20 posts

Posted Sun April 28, 2024 1:32pmReport post

My ex got 27mths which came as a shock, unfortunately for my children it took 7mths before they were allowed contact via phone or letter. The prison (very slowly) sent out forms which were sent back, then SS were contacted to do a whole assessment then the prison only had a child safeguarding meeting once a month for a decision to be made so everything just took forever. My advice would be to find the name of the prisons family support worker & get them on side...my one really advocated for the kids.

Message if you need any further advice xx