Confused, worried and stressed
Notifications OFF
Hi all, I'm new to this group. Stumbled across it looking for information on Google.
So we had the knock early August last year. My OH was arrested and our home searched. Released on bail with conditions. As my youngest as still only 17 he wasn't allowed to sleep at home. SS report stated they wouldn't be involved as she was almost 18. 1st bail was extended to Feb 24, then again to 9 May 2024. OH was invited in for 2nd interview on Friday just gone. Where apparently they found 3 other class c images. I don't think I cab give any clarification on the age. All I am going to say is over 16 on reddit.
Arrest was accusation of 1 cat c image from a social media account linked to his email. He heavily denies he has done the offences. . I chose to believe him as he has never given me any reason to doubt him in the 3 years we have been together.
My world is in pieces we are due to get married next month legal ceremony on 13 May and then out wedding oversras a few weeks later.
I feel like I'm waffling and not making sense as I don't know what I can or cannot say.
Bail on the 9th is it nfa or charge? If charge would you stay with him or end it? I'm so naive when it comes to this subject. 4 images is bad I know there are people out there with a lot more. Do I follow my gut and believe my soon to be hubby or what. I'm so stressed with all of this and spend many days crying over it I have not spoken to my family or friends about what is going on either.
Sorry for the splurge but i don't know what to do or think, it's now affecting my work as I'm using annual leave as its all consuming me.
So we had the knock early August last year. My OH was arrested and our home searched. Released on bail with conditions. As my youngest as still only 17 he wasn't allowed to sleep at home. SS report stated they wouldn't be involved as she was almost 18. 1st bail was extended to Feb 24, then again to 9 May 2024. OH was invited in for 2nd interview on Friday just gone. Where apparently they found 3 other class c images. I don't think I cab give any clarification on the age. All I am going to say is over 16 on reddit.
Arrest was accusation of 1 cat c image from a social media account linked to his email. He heavily denies he has done the offences. . I chose to believe him as he has never given me any reason to doubt him in the 3 years we have been together.
My world is in pieces we are due to get married next month legal ceremony on 13 May and then out wedding oversras a few weeks later.
I feel like I'm waffling and not making sense as I don't know what I can or cannot say.
Bail on the 9th is it nfa or charge? If charge would you stay with him or end it? I'm so naive when it comes to this subject. 4 images is bad I know there are people out there with a lot more. Do I follow my gut and believe my soon to be hubby or what. I'm so stressed with all of this and spend many days crying over it I have not spoken to my family or friends about what is going on either.
Sorry for the splurge but i don't know what to do or think, it's now affecting my work as I'm using annual leave as its all consuming me.
Elephant I am afraid this is your journey and you have to decide, I chose to stay with my oh he was 5 images 2 cat a and 3 cat b, we paid for a cyber report which proved he hadn't searched for it he clicked on a link of numbers and letters I had to have the proof he had not seeked it out, he was sentenced to 1 year supervision, 1 year on sor and community payback he was found guilty of clicking on a link and not reporting that, for that I accept.
This is a roller coaster take a day at a time xx
This is a roller coaster take a day at a time xx
Hi Elephant,
As already stated, it is your journey to decide, and only he knows if it was coverage or accidental. I've stayed with my OH, who deliberately searched for images. He's now living back in the home with our young child with unsupervised access, following a year of working with therapeutic, social and police based services to get himself back on the right tracks
One other thing I'd say though is if the images are of young people 16+ then the offence and sentencing guidelines are, I believe, slightly different. Also, could your person have thought they were over 18 (I would struggle to know the age of someone between about 16 and 20!
Worth contacting a good solicitor to find out more. Happy to give my experience with a couple of different solicitors over DM
As already stated, it is your journey to decide, and only he knows if it was coverage or accidental. I've stayed with my OH, who deliberately searched for images. He's now living back in the home with our young child with unsupervised access, following a year of working with therapeutic, social and police based services to get himself back on the right tracks
One other thing I'd say though is if the images are of young people 16+ then the offence and sentencing guidelines are, I believe, slightly different. Also, could your person have thought they were over 18 (I would struggle to know the age of someone between about 16 and 20!
Worth contacting a good solicitor to find out more. Happy to give my experience with a couple of different solicitors over DM
Hello, I'm sorry you have found yourself in this situation. But I'm glad you have found the forum.
Only you can decide if you stay or leave.
I have stayed. My OH never searched for images, to me this showed that he had no intent. I couldn't leave and take our children away from him when he never set out to commit a crime.
If he had of searched for images, if he admitted to having a sexual attraction to children, if he had admitted to having a porn addiction, if he had communicated with a child
I don't know what I would've done because I've never been in any of those situations. I would never judge anyone for their decision, I know there ls more to it than that.
It is up to you and only you what you decide to do, no decision is easy in this.
Only you can decide if you stay or leave.
I have stayed. My OH never searched for images, to me this showed that he had no intent. I couldn't leave and take our children away from him when he never set out to commit a crime.
If he had of searched for images, if he admitted to having a sexual attraction to children, if he had admitted to having a porn addiction, if he had communicated with a child
I don't know what I would've done because I've never been in any of those situations. I would never judge anyone for their decision, I know there ls more to it than that.
It is up to you and only you what you decide to do, no decision is easy in this.
I chose to leave - eventually.
I don't know if the images were accidental downloads or not but I'm thinking they numbered 200 of all categories that it wasn't accidental.
As has already been said it is your decision and no one will judge you on here.
I don't know if the images were accidental downloads or not but I'm thinking they numbered 200 of all categories that it wasn't accidental.
As has already been said it is your decision and no one will judge you on here.
As everyone has said it's your decision to stay or leave. I chose to cancel my wedding and leave. One image is one too many for me so the decision was easy.
Hi all, thank you for your replies, it means a lot. As it stands right now I am chosing to stay with him. He denies everything, says he hasn't done any of it and willing let's me look at his phone. I don't. He doesn't have any other devices and no access either. He told me to get a Sarah's law disclosure, which I did. We will be getting married in 13 days and going to the Dominican for our wedding end of May.
I have contacted my EAP and have asked for help coping with it all. My employers have been amazing so far and I hope they stay that was as i know that there are many darker days ahead of us.
Sending love to you all x
I have contacted my EAP and have asked for help coping with it all. My employers have been amazing so far and I hope they stay that was as i know that there are many darker days ahead of us.
Sending love to you all x
Hi,
A Sarah's law disclosure wouldn't show anything currently being investigated as it only shows offences that individuals have been charged with.
It's absolutely your decision to stay or leave as has already been stated. As you've said it could be a long process. I'm glad that you have support through your employer xxx
A Sarah's law disclosure wouldn't show anything currently being investigated as it only shows offences that individuals have been charged with.
It's absolutely your decision to stay or leave as has already been stated. As you've said it could be a long process. I'm glad that you have support through your employer xxx