Family and Friends Forum

Hello,

Thank you for posting on the Family and Friends forum, we understand that it is not easy to post on a forum about these difficult situations. I can see that you have not yet had a reply on your post, hopefully someone else in a similar situation can reply soon with some support.

If you haven't already done so, I would also encourage you to contact our Stop it Now helpline. The helpline is anonymous, confidential and free, on 0808 1000 900. One of our trained advisors will then be able to explore your situation in detail and provide some support and do their best to answer your questions. Our trained advisors deal with similar concerns to yours every day and will be able to talk these through with you and offer you the best advice we can.

I hope this has been helpful.


Take care,

Lucy

Hello.

I am so sorry this has happened to you. It's awful how families and, in particular, children are punished. In my opinion, you have done a brave thing in insisting your ex leaves. It's in the best interest of you and your family. I know having carers help you isn't ideal but it's great that you realise you need help and are taking active steps to keep going. I also have help from my family and outside agencies to keep on top of daily life, especially when I have depressive episodes.

I am in a similar position; I can share with you the action I've taken in case any of it helps. Unfortunatley you can't control media reporting, it might just be luck of the draw whether it gets reported again :( I wish I could tell you otherwise.

This morning, my friend knocked on my door telling me that our friends and my neighbours know about my ex. One neighbour is sharing the original news article which includes the address where I currently live with my children. The fear I feel is unreal. I rang the police straight away and told them I was scared for our safety. They were very supportive and are liasing with SOMU to come up with a plan. There is an urgent response marker on our property if I call 999. I am also installing a security camera, to try and deter any vandalism etc.

I also immediately told my ex he cannot come to our house again. He has been visiting our children daily since our separation six months ago. Since I have no idea how many of my neighbours or wider community now know, I am looking to move me and my children to a different town. I will ask that my ex stays living in a separate town/city. I sincerely hope things remain amicable between us but I would not hesistate to go to the police, SOMU or indeed Court to seek a restaining order or such if necessary.

I am in and out of counseling as a result of the original trauma and the ongoing issues. Perhaps it would help you too. You can get a referral from your GP for free counseling although the wait times can be lengthy. I have also called the Samaritans helpline and the Lucy Faithful one when I need immediate support.

Stay strong. You are amazing. X