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Its that Friday check in Ladies x

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Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri May 3, 2024 12:04pmReport post

Good afternoon lovlies x

I hope you are all doing ok and your week hasn't been to hard on you x

I thought I would book today as holiday from work to have a nice long weekend, my plan today was to tidy the little front garden I have and paint the porch but the weather has decided to put a stop to that, it hasn't stopped raining! So the bleach has come out and the bathroom has had a thorough clean as has my bedroom, oh the sheer excitement of my life eh :-)

I have a visit with HC tomorrow so hoping they have some nice things to eat, he has been keeping well and has managed to come of his Antidepressants which is a huge step for him , the heating is still on and he said the heat is stifelling, so his sleep hasn't been great but I said it could also be him coming of his meds so has to let his system get back to normal, it will take a bit of time x but other than that he is ok that's all I can hope for x

No furbaby this weekend, but have her next weekend

Other than that we are all doing ok x

Love sent as always xx

Flower

Member since
February 2023

104 posts

Posted Fri May 3, 2024 12:38pmReport post

Hi all.

I'm really struggling now both physically as birth is due any day and emotionally as I am now one adult trying to look after a teenager, house and a dog, and I'm struggling to look after myself to start with due to being size of a whale so I feel that I dropped all the balls.

Some of you know we are in PLO, we now had contact removed. We did not do anything for it, no breaches. I am about to give birth knowing I will bring my baby home (obviously great and a huge relief.) but my husband can't be in his life - until God knows when. I expected him moving out to rent elsewhere was sufficient, but now we are down to no contact and no family members approved as supervisor. No reason for this - other than they aren't risk assessed which takes months.

marema2233

Member since
March 2024

30 posts

Posted Fri May 3, 2024 12:46pmReport post

Hello

i actually look forward to these every week. Just feels that although we all going through or been through this journey, that there may be a sense of normality in our lives (if that makes any sense haha)



ive had a really rubbish week, my emotions and thoughts are all over the place, not stopped crying and full of panic attacks. My OH is due to answer bail on sunday and im petrified of the outcome, i know it isnt NFA as i know they are rare to get anyway but we've also not had a letter. Im hoping its a Caution and if he is charged im just hoping it dont hit the media as i couldnt cope with that.
Trying to take one step at a time and not let me head jump to conclusions but its so hard.

no matter what the result on sunday , i need to ring our SW on tuesday to update them on the outcome and scared of the child protection stage (was orginally on CIN but then they closed the case with safety plan in place) as my oh not being home is really having a affect on the children, my little boy is crying everyday begging him to come home and my little girl is wrtiting letters to his boss begging to let him come home (we've told them hes working away as agreed by our SW)

i dont know if its worth writing my own safety plan to allow him to move back home supervised of course to show im not minimising it etc and that i have really though this through. The affect this is having on my children is heartbreaking and SW needs to understand this.
In the assessment before closing, our SW has said my OH is low risk and does not believe the children have been or will be in any harm with dad but he has to put that aside.
We've stuck with the plan, my partners done a course, ive just finished my assessment for the Inform course which i should be starting in a few weeks and my OH has shown nothing but remorse.

My OH has said whatever the outcome, he deserves as hes done wrong but its heartbreaking. He isnt a bad man, hes a fantastic dad and partner and i dont want this to take over who he really is.
At the beginnging of the relationship i couldnt even begin to think carrying on the relationship (this was before i knew the details from him) but time apart and chances to talk etc, i cant walk away from him.
hes been told if hes lied to me etc then thats it, but i believe that what hes done, is what hes done, nothing else.
Scared of the future but in my OH words, we need to get through this to come out the otherside and be together again.

and in the words of my best friend "Everything must come to a end....the good times end (like a holiday or wedding) and all bad times end and we naturally move on. Theres no time scale on it, but one day it will just happen and im holding on to that



anyway ramble over, hope everyone has a good bank holiday weekend and has had a good week. Better times are coming or arriving for us all xxx

LostAndTorn

Member since
November 2023

72 posts

Posted Fri May 3, 2024 1:48pmReport post

I've been really struggling the last couple of weeks and can't seem to stop crying, it's like I'm overflowing. Yesterday, when the smallest thing went wrong at work, I found myself in floods of tears. Thankfully my boss is very supportive and kind but I hate that it's interferring with my work. I just can't seem to get on top of it, I feel completely overwhelmed by it all the whole time, like I'm heading for a massive crash and only just clinging on.

I had some talking therapies with MIND through my GP, but that stopped a few weeks ago, so I've asked for another session but the lady I'd been seeing has since left so it sounds like I've got to start all over again with someone new.

LittleRobin3

Member since
April 2024

288 posts

Posted Fri May 3, 2024 2:17pmReport post

Hi,

I've spent this week worrying about the media, like usual and an upcoming appointment.

I'm going through this for the second time. It's finally gone to the CPS. My overwhelming thoughts day in day out are around whether the Police are going to put his mugshot, name, age, road he's living in at the moment and his crimes on their Social Media platforms like they did last time. The fallout for us is truly awful.
I've suffered with PTSD since 2017 since the first "knock". I've got an appointment soon with a Psychiatrist who I've seen before. She keeps referring to my ex's use of "child porn". It does my head in that a professional in the position she's in, uses this terminology! I cannot say much I do not want to have to see her! Ugh.
Hope everyone has as good a weekend as V possible. X

Edited Fri May 3, 2024 2:20pm

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

774 posts

Posted Fri May 3, 2024 2:33pmReport post

Good afternoon Friday check in, for me this last week has flown by. I'm definitely a summer person so knowing the winter is behind me makes me feel so much better. I'm hoping that when the weather warms up I'll get out to the beach and try to master paddle boarding. I got my son out paddle boarding last summer to try and distract him while he was waiting for sentencing. He did ok but I fell off making a great big splash which gave us and everyone else on the beach some entertainment.

Flower, Marema and LostAndTorn I'm so sorry to know you're all struggling, it's such an awful journey affecting all aspects of your life and I know what it feels like to live in such overwhelming anxiety. I'm now 7 months post sentencing and can reassure you that it won't always feel this bad.

LittleRobin, my heart goes out to you, I just can't imagine how you feel having to go through it all again.

Upset, I'm so pleased to know your son is doing well and how wonderful that he feels well enough to come of his medication. That must really make your heart full. Let's hope there's plenty for him to eat tomorrow as I'm sure the fact he is feeling so well in himself will be evident in his appetite. My son is also doing well. He's linked back up with a friend who has always been there for him and it's good to see him mixing with someone of his own age.

I know this weekend is going to be difficult for many of you but I hope you all manage to find some time to do something that makes you feel just that little bit better even if it is very short lived.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri May 3, 2024 5:29pmReport post

Aww Flower I cant imagine the amount of pressure that is on you at the moment I just wanted to send you a huge hug xx

I hope you have some support around you and to help with the house etc

Giving birth has it's own anxeitys never mind with everything else you have going on also xx

No matter how difficult this is you will get through this xx

I have no experience with having SS involved so I cannot give any advice xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri May 3, 2024 5:35pmReport post

Mare x

I'm so sorry you have had a bad week it's such an emotional rollercoaster isn't it x

Like so many of you who have younger children and have to deal with SS I am in awe of how incredibly strong you ladies are and it is your strength that will keep you going x

I will be thinking of you all on Sunday and hope you have an answer on the outcome

Hugs sent xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri May 3, 2024 5:43pmReport post

Lost x

We know how difficult this is and to be honest I think somedays are manageable but others just feel so empty and emotional, I was a complete wreck at the start of our journey, , so try not to put more pressure on yourself you are doing so well and seeking some help and support is so important for your wellbeing x

We are here for you so please reach out to us we will pick you up when your feeling down you are not alone in this xx huge hugs sent xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri May 3, 2024 5:49pmReport post

Ocean x

Paddleboaring is something I would love to do I would probably end up like your son falling of and I would definitely make a huge splash :-) but would definitely give us a chuckle x

So pleased your son is doing well and has started socializing with his friend it must be lovely to see xx

I just want a little bit of sunshine it has non stopped rained all day so I hope it brightens up over the weekend xx

Overwhelmed49

Member since
April 2024

45 posts

Posted Fri May 3, 2024 6:06pmReport post

Like mare i also look forward to these every week, just knowing others are around going through the same roller coaster.

Flower, I send you all my love. It must be so difficult right now for you and hope your new beautiful little one makes his safe appearance soon xx

I have had an up and down week. It started positively, but just as I had started work on Monday, my phone went, and it was SS. We were under the impression we had been signed off, but no. All of a sudden we are needing to do a CIN meeting. It absolutely sent me into a flat spin and need to wait until Wednesday for it to happen. My youngest, wants nothing to do with it (he's 14 and a half) and the thought if teachers in his house is mortifying. I'm feeling lut of control again. That's the worst thing I think of feeling like I have no control over the process.

But this weekend I am going to to rest, maybe go on a long walk or run with my dog and clear my mind from the what ifs...

Sending love and strength to you all x

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

561 posts

Posted Fri May 3, 2024 6:33pmReport post

Hello everyone hope you're all doing as well as is possible.

Upset I hope you have a lovely visit with your HC and how great to hear that he is well enough to come off the medication.

Marema, Lost and torn and Little Robin I am so very sorry for what you are all going through- please take care of yourselves and know that we are always here for you xx
Flower I send you love and strength and hope your beautiful new little one makes an appearance soon xx
Ocean I'm so pleased that your son is doing well- my son is also taking up paddle boarding and he is very good at it , I managed to kneel but fell in a few times!!!

Things are ok with son and have been fairly quiet which suits me fine ..

I have out walking at the coast which always makes me feel better.

Have a good weekend everyone and hopefully we will get some sunshine.

Love as always xxx

Edited Fri May 3, 2024 6:35pm

hpl111

Member since
November 2022

392 posts

Posted Fri May 3, 2024 8:17pmReport post

Flower, I wish you all the best for the birth - a safe and speedy delivery and lots of wonderful newborn cuddles.

It's so hard to read how so many people are suffering emotionally on this thread.

I also have been full of anxiety these last few days and especially today.

We bought a sandpit for our children and will set it up in the garden tomorrow so they can play over the weekend.

The weather is going to be very beautiful over the weekend.

I wish you all a wonderful weekend xx

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

438 posts

Posted Fri May 3, 2024 8:43pmReport post

Hello friday check in,

It always amazes me how many lives are affected by this crime. The lovely ladies on here that are struggling through no fault of their own. Especially the ones with little ones. I am in awe how they manage to get through each day.

My week has not been too bad. Due to go on a holiday next week cannot wait. I will finally have a break from my OH, whcih i felt i needed since this happened. We live 24/7 together with no break and i do find this a struggle. The police have denied all attempts by him to move in with his relatives and we cannot afford a second home. But looking forward to the break, some sun, cocktails and a good book! Cant wait.

SarahL1403

Member since
May 2024

2 posts

Posted Fri May 3, 2024 10:12pmReport post

Hey! I'm completely new here but now 15 months since Ex was arrested for online charges. Still ongoing investigation by police who are finally processing devices and should have report by July. I learnt the truth from Ex and I'm just waiting for police to find it too. We have a toddler (ill just refer to him as Kiddo). Kiddo has no idea what's going on and knows he lives with mum but sees dad a lot still (always supervised). He loves his dad and I'm putting on a brave face for Kiddo and still being friends with dad. I'm honest with Ex about how some days I hate everything about him and other days I can tolerate him being in same room. I know a lot of people here support their people through this but he was also an alcohol who emotionally manipulated me to hide the truth. We had some amazing times together but generally i felt worthless and unloved and like i was the bad person. So i cant support him. Knowing all the pain and upset he put onto me was becauze he was hiding who is really is and his online activities. This week has been tough. Lots of little triggers setting off anxiety and depression and memories. From news on radio about someone who was arrested to TV shows even mentioning r*p* (not sure if we can type the actual word or not here..). Its been tough. But Kiddo keeps me smiling and laughing and for him I will keep going.



It's amazing and lovely to see a weekly check in and to see this group of people who share an experience all supporting each others journeys.

Maybe not everyone out there is a monster like I've come to believe...



Xxxxx

JoJo2305

Member since
May 2024

4 posts

Posted Sat May 4, 2024 4:53amReport post

My life came collapsing yesterday with a knock at the door. My partner has been released on bail for indecent images of children. He's returned home and I need to keep him safe. He is very down and confused about what has happened. My head is spiralling. I really don't think it was a sexually thing, just a habit whilst taking cocaine that spiralled.

I love him very much and moved here to be with him nearly 5 years ago. I don't really have any friends just a couple of work colleagues. I can't afford to live on my own and have my daughter finishing Uni in a couple of months and thinks she's moving in with us. I can't financially cope on my own let alone support her too.

I just want this nightmare to be over and I'm so worried about everyone finding out x

Edited Sat May 4, 2024 5:14am

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2555 posts

Posted Sat May 4, 2024 1:00pmReport post

Hi lovely ladies - gosh my heart goes out to the ladies out there who seem to be in so much pain - it really breaks my heart. This jouney is just horrible.

Had a mixed week, few hiccups at work which have tilted me, and a sometimes newly retired suffocating husband..... plus missing my boy. But I'll survive!......

Upset will give her son cuddles today, and one for me and mine, I feel the warmth and love she offers xxxxxx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sat May 4, 2024 6:27pmReport post

Over x

Hugs sent lovely x

My heart really does go out to all you incredibly strong ladies that have younger children to navigate this journey with :-( I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult it is x

I hope your run with the furbaby helped to clear your mind a bit x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sat May 4, 2024 6:32pmReport post

Seaside x

It is always so lovely to hear from you x glad you are doing ok :-)

Great to read your son is doing well we should set up a group for paddle boarding and both yours and Ocean sons can teach us would deffinatly be worth seeing me and Smile trying to navigate on one of them, and if all else fails it would give us a good laugh xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sat May 4, 2024 6:33pmReport post

Hpl111 x

Hope the sandpit was a success x

I do hope you are feeling a little better in yourself x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sat May 4, 2024 6:37pmReport post

Webb x

You are absolutely going to have a lovely time away and you so do deserve to have lots of cocktails, beautiful weather and you cannot go wrong with a good book xx think of each day and nothing else , raise a glass to us all as we may not be there in person bit we will be there in your thoughts as you are in ours xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sat May 4, 2024 6:43pmReport post

Smile x

We had lots of hugs especially for you and our boy it's funny how I talk to HC about you both yet we have never met but we both so grateful to have found you and our boy , HC is also so pleased I have you to share my thoughts and emotions with xx

As for the the glitch you had all I will say is Karma :-) xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sat May 4, 2024 6:52pmReport post

We had a lovely visit today, I was kind of apprehensive as he came of his antidepressants so I wasn't sure how 2 hours with me would go :-) he was absolutely fine which was a weight of my mind (I had seen him at his lowest before his meds) we talked and laughed, had lots of hugs I am just so incredibly proud of how far he has come xx

Yes we have a long Road ahead but we will get through it

He managed to eat

10 Crumpets (his absolute favourite)

Chocolate rice cakes

A pan au chocolate

A family bag of M&M chocolate eggs (left over from Easter)

A pot of pringles

2 slices of toast

A chocolate cake slice

A milkybar

Another pot of pringles

2 x bottles of Oasis

I had 2 crumpets and 4 cups of tea lol xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2555 posts

Posted Sat May 4, 2024 6:57pmReport post

No one understands like you Upset........ x

you and the ladies on the forum have supported me as I got off my knees to stand up and fight the world x

Inturmoil1974

Member since
November 2022

279 posts

Posted Sat May 4, 2024 8:42pmReport post

A bit late to the Friday party this week for me, I wasn't sure how to write my week up to be honest it's been a whirlwind, today has been the best though, daughter went away shopping with friends so oh myself and the furbaby headed to the beach some lunch and furbaby had his usual fun in the water, came home neighbour on each side was asking oh tips on there garden, I could see he was so nervous but really chuffed for a bit of normality, he used to do a couples hedge 3 times of year and he text tonight asking when he was available to do it again, I am so pleased for him as its been a very mixed week for us both, I always say take each day as it comes and today I can chalk this one up as a win.

Flowers you have been very much in my thoughts and can't imagine being in your position right now sending love.

Sending love to all as always xx

Inturmoil1974

Member since
November 2022

279 posts

Posted Sat May 4, 2024 8:43pmReport post

Upset mum you will need a second mortgage for all that food so glad to hear it was a good visit as always xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sat May 4, 2024 9:56pmReport post

Inturmoil x

So pleased you had a lovely time at the beach it must have been a uplifting breath of fresh air x knowing your daughter was in her element shopping with her friends just lightens this journey a bit x

Honestly he suprises me with the amount he can eat, thankfully the canteen is fairly reasonable x

Charlie33

Member since
May 2024

1 post

Posted Sat May 4, 2024 10:04pmReport post

Hi. This is my 1st post. My ex-partner was arrested a week ago and I'm currently feeling angry about it all. I've got the police coming on Tues to speak to me and my kids about it all. Thankfully my ex had ended it a few weeks before being arrested as he seemed to know this was going to happen.