Family and Friends Forum

Aardvark

Member since
May 2023

13 posts

Posted Sat May 4, 2024 9:54pmReport post

My partners family are local and aware due to media -they have been supportive. My family are distant, unaware and unlikely to ever run into the information accidentally.

My issue arises from the fact we would generally see my family and rent accommodation as an extended unit. Parents, siblings, one sibling has children. He is currently restricted on this prior to sentencing and as far as I can tell is very likely to be restricted after this too...

I don't want to disclose anything but that will mean him being absent from normal family events, which will be noticed as he got on very well with my family...

Does anyone have any advice? Continue to be absent for various excuses until he is allowed contact without police involvement? Disclose information and risk ruining relationships and potentially still being unable to attend events if the parents don't wish him to be around? It's all awful, I don't want to have to deal with it or think of it yet here I am..

Sentencing is due this month so I won't be talking until after then incase by some miracle there is no SHPO or terms that will effect this (I imagine that is a pipe dream)

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1006 posts

Posted Sun May 5, 2024 8:38amReport post

Hi,

If he ends up with a SHPO that has no contact restrictions then you'd just have to make sure that the places you and your family rent don't have anything in their terms and conditions about being on the sor.

I think if he ends up with a no contact unless approved by ss or words to that effect then disclosure would need to happen to allow him to be at normal family events xxx

Edited to add that he'll have to declare any time over 12 hours spent with a child as per sor conditions so disclosing might be necessary to at least the sibling with children xxx

Edited Sun May 5, 2024 8:41am

Aardvark

Member since
May 2023

13 posts

Posted Sun May 5, 2024 8:55pmReport post

I didn't know the SOR carried restrictions also, thought it was more of a black mark situation for jobs etc.. that is disheartening to hear as the sor is a given and probably 5+ years

sadso

Member since
December 2023

89 posts

Posted Mon May 6, 2024 12:34pmReport post

hey aardvark, in my family members situation is is allowed to be around kids but social services also like to notify people if said family member is going to be around their kids , which he hasn't been anyway but of course our family know the situation so on one hand they like to praise you and tell you how good you are doing then when they realise your family are in contact with u then they hit with oh do they know your on the register we maybe need to make sure they know etc etc It is tough