It’s finally over!
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I only posted a couple of times on here but wanted to give an update maybe to just put my thoughts in line!
A recap of what happened. 11 months ago we had 8 police officers turn up at our door at 5:15am and arrested my husband on suspicion of uploading 3 photos of children onto Facebook. He doesn't even have Facebook. He swore to me that he hadn't done it and I believed him and stood by his side throughout this ordeal.
We immediately got a solicitor and got the ball rolling but it's been one hell of a battle to get any sort of answers!! To the point of my husband wanting to kill himself. It has taken a toll on our marriage, stopped our plans for trying for a baby, I got demoted at my job because of the accusation!
Now, after 11 months of hell, we had two police officers turn up at our door on Thursday evening. My husband went out to speak to them for them to tell him that the case is closed... NFA. They found absolutely nothing on any of our devices! They believe him when he says that he didn't do it and they wanted to come round in person to let us know the news. They think he may have been hacked and will now start to look into what has happened.
Its happy news but I feel like it's all been a waste. We've lost so much because of this. We were in such a good place before this. Now I'm on pills for anxiety and have weekly therapy to try and figure everything out,
Has anyone ever put some form of a complaint in? I wholeheartedly believe that these cases shouldn't take so long to process and I want to try and do something to help this. I wouldn't even know who to go to, to complain or try and shed some light on what these cases actually do to the families that have to go through it!
Thanks for reading, and I hope you're all staying strong!
A recap of what happened. 11 months ago we had 8 police officers turn up at our door at 5:15am and arrested my husband on suspicion of uploading 3 photos of children onto Facebook. He doesn't even have Facebook. He swore to me that he hadn't done it and I believed him and stood by his side throughout this ordeal.
We immediately got a solicitor and got the ball rolling but it's been one hell of a battle to get any sort of answers!! To the point of my husband wanting to kill himself. It has taken a toll on our marriage, stopped our plans for trying for a baby, I got demoted at my job because of the accusation!
Now, after 11 months of hell, we had two police officers turn up at our door on Thursday evening. My husband went out to speak to them for them to tell him that the case is closed... NFA. They found absolutely nothing on any of our devices! They believe him when he says that he didn't do it and they wanted to come round in person to let us know the news. They think he may have been hacked and will now start to look into what has happened.
Its happy news but I feel like it's all been a waste. We've lost so much because of this. We were in such a good place before this. Now I'm on pills for anxiety and have weekly therapy to try and figure everything out,
Has anyone ever put some form of a complaint in? I wholeheartedly believe that these cases shouldn't take so long to process and I want to try and do something to help this. I wouldn't even know who to go to, to complain or try and shed some light on what these cases actually do to the families that have to go through it!
Thanks for reading, and I hope you're all staying strong!
Hi!
Im so happy to hear your news!! What a relief after such a long time. Sending big hugs to you both. Now you can begin to heal and hopefully get back to a normal life.
I have no advice on how to complain but really do agree that what we all go through is just awful and dare I say in many cases the waiting destroys more people than it actually helps. The nature of these offences, suspected or otherwise leaves us struggling to find real support. I've seen on this forum along with experience of a FMs previous offence, many myself included, are scared to speak up because of what that may mean for us and our families.
In many cases we are expected to immediately walk away from our otherwise wonderful lives, become single parents, loose jobs, family and friends, suffer financially, cope with sudden PTSD and have our every decision scrutinised by ss all while trying to keep ourselves sane, dragging our little and not so little people through this as unscathed as possible.
i want us to be heard but have no idea how to go about it Xx
Im so happy to hear your news!! What a relief after such a long time. Sending big hugs to you both. Now you can begin to heal and hopefully get back to a normal life.
I have no advice on how to complain but really do agree that what we all go through is just awful and dare I say in many cases the waiting destroys more people than it actually helps. The nature of these offences, suspected or otherwise leaves us struggling to find real support. I've seen on this forum along with experience of a FMs previous offence, many myself included, are scared to speak up because of what that may mean for us and our families.
In many cases we are expected to immediately walk away from our otherwise wonderful lives, become single parents, loose jobs, family and friends, suffer financially, cope with sudden PTSD and have our every decision scrutinised by ss all while trying to keep ourselves sane, dragging our little and not so little people through this as unscathed as possible.
i want us to be heard but have no idea how to go about it Xx
This is my point also, the effect it has on the families is horrendous, we plead not guilty sadly he was found guilty at trial though, even after we could prove it was never searched for and only retrieved by expert software, I believe its the media that does the damage in this crime ours printed very little which let everyones imagination run riot, the comments on social media were horrendous with no idea of the full story. The stigma and blanket charge of this crime needs to change.
One day I hope I can find the strength to change it in some way
One day I hope I can find the strength to change it in some way
Hi,
that's amazing news for you, it really is a massive relief.
we also received a NFA after almost 2 years, my husband was arrested at his place of work which eventually he lost his job because of it, my children went 5 weeks with no contact with him my eldest started secondary school without be able to have her dad there to support her, I technically also lost my job as I was unable to work due to childcare, so much family time missed!!
we found out that it was all due to 1 alert from an email and there was not 1 single bit of evidence found!!
we've also considered legal action but my husband just wants to move on and get on with his life. But I feel this is not ok to put us all and other families through this nightmare the anxiety Iv had is unbearable.
I am so happy it's ended I'm a NFA but why did it take so long, how can they go into someone's work to arrest them without any actual evidence??
that's amazing news for you, it really is a massive relief.
we also received a NFA after almost 2 years, my husband was arrested at his place of work which eventually he lost his job because of it, my children went 5 weeks with no contact with him my eldest started secondary school without be able to have her dad there to support her, I technically also lost my job as I was unable to work due to childcare, so much family time missed!!
we found out that it was all due to 1 alert from an email and there was not 1 single bit of evidence found!!
we've also considered legal action but my husband just wants to move on and get on with his life. But I feel this is not ok to put us all and other families through this nightmare the anxiety Iv had is unbearable.
I am so happy it's ended I'm a NFA but why did it take so long, how can they go into someone's work to arrest them without any actual evidence??
Thankyou for your replies!
I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling like this. I can't wrap my head around any of it. And it makes me so angry! I'm so sorry that they came to your husband's work and arrested him with no evidence.
I completely understand why once it's over, the accused would want to move on, and that's what my husband wants but if this had kept on going we probably would have both lost our jobs, which then would have set off a domino effect and we'd lose our house etc.
I understand that what we've all been through is so scary and none of us would want any media involvement but I wish there was a way that we can all get some answers to why this takes so long. Surely, anything to do with uploading, downloading or watching these sorts of things should be dealt with quickly due to them being a massive safeguarding risk to the children involved.
I think I'm going to start doing some research and figure out how to get some answers for us, some way!
I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling like this. I can't wrap my head around any of it. And it makes me so angry! I'm so sorry that they came to your husband's work and arrested him with no evidence.
I completely understand why once it's over, the accused would want to move on, and that's what my husband wants but if this had kept on going we probably would have both lost our jobs, which then would have set off a domino effect and we'd lose our house etc.
I understand that what we've all been through is so scary and none of us would want any media involvement but I wish there was a way that we can all get some answers to why this takes so long. Surely, anything to do with uploading, downloading or watching these sorts of things should be dealt with quickly due to them being a massive safeguarding risk to the children involved.
I think I'm going to start doing some research and figure out how to get some answers for us, some way!