Family and Friends Forum

Horsegirl

Member since
February 2024

29 posts

Posted Tue May 7, 2024 3:02pmReport post

A while ago I posted on here that due to needing security clearance for my job, I may be have to chose between my job and my OH.

My OH had his second interview on Friday. The forensic report showed nearly 1000 images, mainly C, but there were some A and B. This influenced the decision in my role and it was confirmed that I could not keep my job and stay with my OH.

I had been wrestling with this for some time as I was expecting that result. I have decided that I will stay with my job. I really enjoy where I work and have loads of opportunity for development and progression. I could only ever see myself leaving it because I was moving on to something better. Not because of what my OH has done. I would end up resenting him somewhere down thr line.

This is really hard. I still care about him and what happens to him. I have been caring for him and protecting him for the last 3 months since the knock. I don't want him to be in a worse situation, but I need the security of the job I enjoy.

There have already been tears and I anticipate lots more before he moves out.

I will always love him and care about what happens to him.

Dad005

Member since
March 2024

49 posts

Posted Tue May 7, 2024 5:01pmReport post

Hi,



What an awful position to be in, my heart goes out to you. I don't know what else to say, just had to reply.

Sending hugs

Take care x

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

774 posts

Posted Tue May 7, 2024 8:29pmReport post

I'm so sorry to read this, it must have been so hard making a decision like that. My heart goes out to you. Sending you love, strength and a big hug.

Ginluver

Member since
April 2023

68 posts

Posted Tue May 7, 2024 9:00pmReport post

Hi, it's not an easy decision to make at all I decided to leave but it doesn't make you stop caring about someone you have loved for a lot of years even though they have done something really bad. My ex partner father to my kids has gone to prison recently and I have had a lot of tears as I still worry and care about him as he is the father of my kids and we had so many happy memories together it's hard to just completely cut off altogether from them. I would say I have a friendship with my person and that's all it will ever be as I lost so much respect for him and have no trust in him at all. Just take each day at a time it will get easier to adjust to being without them but I always worry about them and how they are getting on with things and feel sorry for him even though he has done something appalling and turned my life upside down x

Edited Tue May 7, 2024 9:03pm

AnxiousGirl

Member since
December 2023

222 posts

Posted Tue May 7, 2024 10:14pmReport post

I can totally relate to what you say Ginluver. It's exactly how I feel too.

I left as I couldn't see how this whole situation would ever go away. I would just be waiting for it to rear it's head again at some point. I didn't want to live like that.

Also the trust and respect has gone.