Need to rant and get this off my chest
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I think i need to applogise for the rant and the frustrations but im sure some of you will be able to relate in how shocking the police are not taking families etc into consideration through all this (i know they arent duty bound too but surely should be a natural human thing)
So my partner was due to answer bail on sunday (just gone) and he recieved a call on the saturday appoligsing as he shouldnt of ever been booked in that day as its Sunday and bank holiday and could he come in wednesday to answer bail instead (today).
My partner turned up today and was told after waiting 40 minutes that he didnt actually have to be there today and the OIC has just rang down to tell them to let him know its been pushed back to august and he should of recieved a letter.
How could he have recieved a letter from saturday to tuesday when its been bank holiday?????????
Why couldnt they have rang him this morning to tell him that he didnt have to go?, he left the house at 6am to get there in time as hes staying at his parents house and had to get 2 buses.
I also dont understand what has changed between saturday to today without no explaination why?
we dont know where in the investagation we are, we were told the phone download was in march and 2 days after that he was told he shouldnt have to wait until May and he would try and bring it forward.......to then it being pushed until august.
Ive spent since saturday feeling sick, not being able to eat and just praying we would get an answer.
i just feel so let down. and i know this is common for them to keep extending bail and its not a reflection on if its a bad thing or a good thing but this is now the 3rd time its been pushed back with "random dates" in between and i shouldnt be shocked but the lack of care of this whole thing on famiies and even those "accused" is appauling.
we have 3 young children who see thier dad on a weekend, He isnt allowed to stay in the house, we can have overnight stays away from the house but not in the house and he cant even come into the house during the day so its becoming expensive (parks etc are not entertaining the children now) to see their dad but they are so young and are missing him so much, my little boy cries every night since this has all happened, my little girl is writing letters to "his boss" aka SW as they think hes working away so he cant stay here and theres always tears when he has to leave. SW had closed our case since january with a plan in place and we were told to just contact them once we had a decision.
Sorry for the rant and i know i should of went with the expectation of extended but usually he gets told via a email or a call, so i do take into consideration maybe he was called to another case etc but i was wanting to be a step closer to moving on from this.
Heres to hoping that we get to August and finally get a answer.
So my partner was due to answer bail on sunday (just gone) and he recieved a call on the saturday appoligsing as he shouldnt of ever been booked in that day as its Sunday and bank holiday and could he come in wednesday to answer bail instead (today).
My partner turned up today and was told after waiting 40 minutes that he didnt actually have to be there today and the OIC has just rang down to tell them to let him know its been pushed back to august and he should of recieved a letter.
How could he have recieved a letter from saturday to tuesday when its been bank holiday?????????
Why couldnt they have rang him this morning to tell him that he didnt have to go?, he left the house at 6am to get there in time as hes staying at his parents house and had to get 2 buses.
I also dont understand what has changed between saturday to today without no explaination why?
we dont know where in the investagation we are, we were told the phone download was in march and 2 days after that he was told he shouldnt have to wait until May and he would try and bring it forward.......to then it being pushed until august.
Ive spent since saturday feeling sick, not being able to eat and just praying we would get an answer.
i just feel so let down. and i know this is common for them to keep extending bail and its not a reflection on if its a bad thing or a good thing but this is now the 3rd time its been pushed back with "random dates" in between and i shouldnt be shocked but the lack of care of this whole thing on famiies and even those "accused" is appauling.
we have 3 young children who see thier dad on a weekend, He isnt allowed to stay in the house, we can have overnight stays away from the house but not in the house and he cant even come into the house during the day so its becoming expensive (parks etc are not entertaining the children now) to see their dad but they are so young and are missing him so much, my little boy cries every night since this has all happened, my little girl is writing letters to "his boss" aka SW as they think hes working away so he cant stay here and theres always tears when he has to leave. SW had closed our case since january with a plan in place and we were told to just contact them once we had a decision.
Sorry for the rant and i know i should of went with the expectation of extended but usually he gets told via a email or a call, so i do take into consideration maybe he was called to another case etc but i was wanting to be a step closer to moving on from this.
Heres to hoping that we get to August and finally get a answer.
Hi,
No need to apologise, I know.
I am sorry this has happened to you. It does seem to be the normal for the police. They made my son travel miles, ( whn I say miles, I mean like 200 miles as he had moved away) to attend the police station and when he got there he didn't even need to attend !!
There have been so many incidents like that during our journey. They really don't consider the families or transport difficulties. Xx
No need to apologise, I know.
I am sorry this has happened to you. It does seem to be the normal for the police. They made my son travel miles, ( whn I say miles, I mean like 200 miles as he had moved away) to attend the police station and when he got there he didn't even need to attend !!
There have been so many incidents like that during our journey. They really don't consider the families or transport difficulties. Xx
No need to apologise. I think we all understand how you feel. I really do thing it's intentional. I think its a power move / intimidation.
Mine was called for a second interview on his birthday... they know his dob. Then they called to say about updates from cps (which can't be told on phone only in person a week later) on our child's birthday. They know our kids dob. All intentional.
Mine was called for a second interview on his birthday... they know his dob. Then they called to say about updates from cps (which can't be told on phone only in person a week later) on our child's birthday. They know our kids dob. All intentional.
The incompetence of the system is unbelievable isn't it?
Since my son has been in prison he's had perhaps a handful of appointments with 'officials' which I think is incomprehensible.......
Only yesterday he had a cancellation note of a meeting he knew nothing about. It gets worse, the video link was on then off again, all this time my son getting more and more anxious. The staff couldn't even be bothered to update him, seems they were more interested in their personal conversations over a cup of tea!!!!!!
I find the whole thing such a frustrating mess - I've not much confidence in anything these days I'm afraid, and nothing suprises me!
Since my son has been in prison he's had perhaps a handful of appointments with 'officials' which I think is incomprehensible.......
Only yesterday he had a cancellation note of a meeting he knew nothing about. It gets worse, the video link was on then off again, all this time my son getting more and more anxious. The staff couldn't even be bothered to update him, seems they were more interested in their personal conversations over a cup of tea!!!!!!
I find the whole thing such a frustrating mess - I've not much confidence in anything these days I'm afraid, and nothing suprises me!
Thank you all for replying, its comforting to know my frustrations arent just my own and thank you for underdstanding.
Dad005--Thats absolutely shocking, im here being so angry that my partner had to get 2 buses and only had to travel 20 miles but to make someone travel nearly 200 miles for them not to have to be there is absolutely shocking!!!! They dont think of the cost of these things and during the cost of living too.
EA-- I totally agree, i think its a power trip they get and i hate the fact that my opinion on the police and how they handle things has totally changed, i guess you know know unless your thrown into it. The attitude my OH got was disgusting from the front desk (not through the custody part). They are receptionists basically and personally i think just because they wear a uniform , it gives them the right to talk and treat people how they want too. Total intimidation from thier part but if my partner was to have an attitude and kicked off then it would be a different story. My partner thankfully knows how to bite his tongue and "just agree" but i wanted him to contact the OIC directly to ask why but probably best he didnt at this stage. Im tired of him having to do all the chasing as we never get any "letters" they send out and i personally dont think there were any sent in the first place as we should of had 2 letters prior to this and they didnt turn up.
Smile through tears-- im in total shock at the system and the lack of respect they have for anyone. You dont know how bad the system is unless your dealing with it. i want to put a complaint in but my partner said to just leave it as it wont help our situation in anyway but we have 3 children who need thier dad home and we cant do that until this is all over. They cant even update us where we are in the investigation and all know is phone was getting downloaded in march and then 2 days later we were told he shouldnt have to wait until may and he would try bring it forward but then didnt have space or time, then this nightmare. Us public are expected to tell the truth and be honest but they are full of lies and manipulation themselves.
That is totally shocking for your son. To be treated like that through a time where anxiety and worry is at a high. you'd expect more from prison staff too!! Im so sorry your son has had to deal with that and i hope and pray that he dont have to go through the shocking lack of respect for much longer xx (p.s as far as personal conversations and tea, its another thing that really annoys me. My partner said the woman at the desk yesterday was more bothered eating her bowl of cereal and the way she spoke to other people that were coming in was appauling also). xxxx
Dad005--Thats absolutely shocking, im here being so angry that my partner had to get 2 buses and only had to travel 20 miles but to make someone travel nearly 200 miles for them not to have to be there is absolutely shocking!!!! They dont think of the cost of these things and during the cost of living too.
EA-- I totally agree, i think its a power trip they get and i hate the fact that my opinion on the police and how they handle things has totally changed, i guess you know know unless your thrown into it. The attitude my OH got was disgusting from the front desk (not through the custody part). They are receptionists basically and personally i think just because they wear a uniform , it gives them the right to talk and treat people how they want too. Total intimidation from thier part but if my partner was to have an attitude and kicked off then it would be a different story. My partner thankfully knows how to bite his tongue and "just agree" but i wanted him to contact the OIC directly to ask why but probably best he didnt at this stage. Im tired of him having to do all the chasing as we never get any "letters" they send out and i personally dont think there were any sent in the first place as we should of had 2 letters prior to this and they didnt turn up.
Smile through tears-- im in total shock at the system and the lack of respect they have for anyone. You dont know how bad the system is unless your dealing with it. i want to put a complaint in but my partner said to just leave it as it wont help our situation in anyway but we have 3 children who need thier dad home and we cant do that until this is all over. They cant even update us where we are in the investigation and all know is phone was getting downloaded in march and then 2 days later we were told he shouldnt have to wait until may and he would try bring it forward but then didnt have space or time, then this nightmare. Us public are expected to tell the truth and be honest but they are full of lies and manipulation themselves.
That is totally shocking for your son. To be treated like that through a time where anxiety and worry is at a high. you'd expect more from prison staff too!! Im so sorry your son has had to deal with that and i hope and pray that he dont have to go through the shocking lack of respect for much longer xx (p.s as far as personal conversations and tea, its another thing that really annoys me. My partner said the woman at the desk yesterday was more bothered eating her bowl of cereal and the way she spoke to other people that were coming in was appauling also). xxxx
Hi Marema
We know how you feel, no need to apologise. They have no consideration what is happening in our lives.
A couple of days before my OH is to report to the police station, he gets a text to say his bail has been extended. We're now at the stage that they extend his bail just by a month instead of 3 months as they have passed to CPS. But on one occasion in February they didn't text him and he turned up to be told his bail has been extended again. He hadn't received a text. I asked him if he showed his annoyance but he said he didn't want to rock the boat. I'm told him he should have just made a comment like "someone could have let me know so I didn't have a wasted journey". It was a Saturday (which I thought was strange but it is the police and they are 24/7. We had to rearrange things as my daughter does drama on a Saturday, so the plan was to drop my oh at the police station in our local town, then take my daughter to a neighbouring town when her drama class and go back to pick up my oh.
We know how you feel, no need to apologise. They have no consideration what is happening in our lives.
A couple of days before my OH is to report to the police station, he gets a text to say his bail has been extended. We're now at the stage that they extend his bail just by a month instead of 3 months as they have passed to CPS. But on one occasion in February they didn't text him and he turned up to be told his bail has been extended again. He hadn't received a text. I asked him if he showed his annoyance but he said he didn't want to rock the boat. I'm told him he should have just made a comment like "someone could have let me know so I didn't have a wasted journey". It was a Saturday (which I thought was strange but it is the police and they are 24/7. We had to rearrange things as my daughter does drama on a Saturday, so the plan was to drop my oh at the police station in our local town, then take my daughter to a neighbouring town when her drama class and go back to pick up my oh.
This lack of communication and with holding of information is rife with the police as victims we were treated the same way. Missed appointments changed times last minute no support when there should have been. The team here now have a specialist officer assigned to family liaison as a result of how our case was handled. The judge was annoyed that we were visibly shocked by certain bits of information and stopped the hearing to make the ioc and prosecution take us and fully inform us so we weren't having to deal with it in the court room. Things need to change for the families.
We have a family liason person and she goes on holiday and ignores texts. Her only replies are to tell me I'm not allowed to know those things and to wait until the oic decides to inform my person.