My story
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Hello,
I am nearly 5 years into this journey and honestly I don't think it's getting any easier..
I became a single parent when the knock came for us with my toddler twins and I was pregnant.. Covid hit then it took 4 years for them to sort everything out.
My ex (children's father) wasn't convinced of what they turned up saying he'd done. I can't go into a lot of detail as it would identify us, but it wasn't what I was being told the whole time by children's services, police etc.
Anyways, fast forward to now. My ex doesn't have a SHPO, but is on SOR and is on probation for another 6 months.
He has had supervised contact by a family member since 2019, but this family member is understandably wanting to have their own life now and our eldest is disabled so adds to the problem of getting someone to supervise.
i was approved to supervise, but I seem to be the odd one here? I have got so much anger towards him for the heartbreak, upset and turmoil this has caused our children.. I do the contact as my children love their dad and I've never told them anything negative about him. So I put the children first, but make sure they are safe when seeing dad.
I now suffer with PTSD due to things that happened, I can't see a white van, police car, knock at the door, unknown phone call without having a panic attack, it's triggered some sort of extreme anxiety / paranoia in me and at times it's unbearable.
I've lost most of my friends as I hate lying and I felt like I couldn't confide in anyone..
It is truly lonely for the families and I don't think there's enough support : help. All I've been told is if I go to the GP children's services will be informed, I've already lost my job because of all of this as I couldn't afford the childcare anymore, couldn't afford the mortgage etc and now I'm constantly worried about what next is going to happen.
Anyways, fast forward to 2024, children's dad has asked for more contact and unsupervised.
The courts have decided he will have to be supervised until he's off SOR. Which from what I've been reading here SHPO only stops unsupervised?
my children will be adults by the time he's off SOR.
how have people explained this to their children? It's all my children remember,, dad always being around someone else when they see him, but they obviously don't understand why.. the questions from our middle are already starting, why can't I go to shops with daddy, why can't I go to his house etc . At the moment, I'm saying daddy's busy, but don't want to keep lying either.
I am nearly 5 years into this journey and honestly I don't think it's getting any easier..
I became a single parent when the knock came for us with my toddler twins and I was pregnant.. Covid hit then it took 4 years for them to sort everything out.
My ex (children's father) wasn't convinced of what they turned up saying he'd done. I can't go into a lot of detail as it would identify us, but it wasn't what I was being told the whole time by children's services, police etc.
Anyways, fast forward to now. My ex doesn't have a SHPO, but is on SOR and is on probation for another 6 months.
He has had supervised contact by a family member since 2019, but this family member is understandably wanting to have their own life now and our eldest is disabled so adds to the problem of getting someone to supervise.
i was approved to supervise, but I seem to be the odd one here? I have got so much anger towards him for the heartbreak, upset and turmoil this has caused our children.. I do the contact as my children love their dad and I've never told them anything negative about him. So I put the children first, but make sure they are safe when seeing dad.
I now suffer with PTSD due to things that happened, I can't see a white van, police car, knock at the door, unknown phone call without having a panic attack, it's triggered some sort of extreme anxiety / paranoia in me and at times it's unbearable.
I've lost most of my friends as I hate lying and I felt like I couldn't confide in anyone..
It is truly lonely for the families and I don't think there's enough support : help. All I've been told is if I go to the GP children's services will be informed, I've already lost my job because of all of this as I couldn't afford the childcare anymore, couldn't afford the mortgage etc and now I'm constantly worried about what next is going to happen.
Anyways, fast forward to 2024, children's dad has asked for more contact and unsupervised.
The courts have decided he will have to be supervised until he's off SOR. Which from what I've been reading here SHPO only stops unsupervised?
my children will be adults by the time he's off SOR.
how have people explained this to their children? It's all my children remember,, dad always being around someone else when they see him, but they obviously don't understand why.. the questions from our middle are already starting, why can't I go to shops with daddy, why can't I go to his house etc . At the moment, I'm saying daddy's busy, but don't want to keep lying either.
Tired soul I wish I had answers for you we were in a different situation oh was allowed unsupervised contact from day one with our daughter she was a teenager so able to answer for herself with ss, we are only 3 months past sentence and for sure seeing myself to more triggers now this is making me so sad that this this is still controlling my life, as we only ever had one visit from ss and case closed I have also been scared to see my gp as they may think I am a bad mother and not coping, i have recently attended talking forward sessions which has helped me that I am not alone, sometimes a stranger is better to talk to than a friend as they listen fully.
Sending love and strength x
Sending love and strength x