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Traumatised by what was found

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Devestatedwife

Member since
October 2023

61 posts

Posted Sat May 11, 2024 7:21pmReport post

This week the social worker has shared with me some of what was found on my husbands phone .



horrific is an under statement . I can't stop thinking about what she told me I'm absolutely disgusted, angered and in disbelief that such evil exists in this world .

it's so hard to believe that someone I lived and trusted had such evil on his phone.



I truly don't think I can ever trust him around our kids alone again.




genuinly in disbelief and sorrow . Every time I think about it I could burst into tears.

Hopelesscared

Member since
November 2023

68 posts

Posted Sat May 11, 2024 7:25pmReport post

Hi



I'm so sorry that you're struggling right now x do you have access to any professional help such as StopSO or Acts Fast to get through this?

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

774 posts

Posted Sat May 11, 2024 9:13pmReport post

What an awful thing for you to hear, I can only imagine how traumatic it must have been and I completely get the fact that you can't shake it from your mind. I'm not sure if you'll find it helpful but it might be worth trying to read a book or watch your favourite film or do some meditation. I know these won't keep your mind from going back over it time and time again but it might help silence it for a few minutes. Thinking of you and really hoping you find some peace.

Devestatedwife

Member since
October 2023

61 posts

Posted Sat May 11, 2024 9:19pmReport post

Thank you . I have been busy all weekend but I just can't believe it . Imagine being married to someone for 15 years thinking you know them inside out . Would do anything for they and turns out you didn't know them at all .



I know you guys don't have to imagine as you have gone through similar things unfortunately.



im honestly sick to my stomach .



how could I possibly leave my children in the company of someone who has watched things like that . I can't . I can never 100% trust him with them I just can't

LostAndTorn

Member since
November 2023

72 posts

Posted Sat May 11, 2024 10:23pmReport post

I'm so sorry you're in this situation. Sadly, I know all too well that sickening feeling. I've had to see some of those images, as I found DVDs my husband had stored photos on from around 15 years ago.

I can't get them out of my head, nor the words he wrote about what he did to children in the men's changing rooms at the swimming pool.

I've recently been diagnosed with PTSD and I'll soon be getting further treatment/therapy to try and help me deal with it all, as it's overwhelming. It might be something you need to consider too.

It's unfathomable how we could think we knew someone inside out yet they were doing / looking at these appalling things. He's wasted and sullied the last 20+ years of my life and I will never forgive him.

Edited Sat May 11, 2024 10:26pm

Devestatedwife

Member since
October 2023

61 posts

Posted Sat May 11, 2024 10:44pmReport post

Oh my lostandtorn I can't imagine what you are going through. I'm so sorry you had to see those things .



I do believe I already have ptsd from the knock .



it's just unbelievable. Perfect partner , worker hard for his family , perfect husband and dad and look what was hidden .



he's obviously very minipulative if he hid this for so many years .



the police says he actually bought images off some websites . We have a joint bank account so how did he purchase things ? I would have noticed . So obviously he was hiding finances as well . It's just gets better

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2556 posts

Posted Sun May 12, 2024 8:56amReport post

I can understand your trauma.

might be a case of burying my head in the sand, but I wouldn't want to know. The facts I do know about what my son did are enough for me to cope with and sadly digest....

Edited Sun May 12, 2024 8:57am

LostAndTorn

Member since
November 2023

72 posts

Posted Sun May 12, 2024 2:28pmReport post

DevastatedWife - I don't know how any of us are supposed to get over what we've learned or had to see. To be honest, I'm not surprised many of us have PTSD.

Same here with the perfect partner and hard worker, although I'm now grateful we never had children. We had an amazing life and a brilliant small business together. But now I know, in some graphic detail, what he was doing, I find it sickening, despicable and unforgivable.

Edited Mon May 13, 2024 7:27am

Losteverything

Member since
September 2022

216 posts

Posted Mon May 13, 2024 11:34pmReport post

Lost and Torn ... Devastated Wife

I agree with you both it is absolutely sickening and in my opinion unforgivable. I can understand why you feel you can't trust him near your children after what you know he's done.
I too feel like my life / relationship has all been based on lies. My ex was the perfect partner and we had an amazing life together. I'm furious that he lived this double life that I knew nothing about and that he spoiled my future

Devestatedmum

Member since
October 2022

40 posts

Posted Tue May 14, 2024 7:23pmReport post

I felt the same as you the shock and horror of the truth was horrific

it's like my husband had died and a stranger was there instead.

LittleRobin3

Member since
April 2024

288 posts

Posted Wed May 15, 2024 6:29pmReport post

Hi devastatedwife.
I was told by the Police how many images and what category they were. That gave me some idea. However, I chose to go to the sentencing. I heard the worst images described by the Judge. It was beyond anything I could ever have imagined - EVER.

I'm seven years in to this and second time around. I have severe PTSD. X

Bereft

Member since
May 2021

43 posts

Posted Wed May 15, 2024 10:36pmReport post

Hi Devestated

I too know how you feel, I found the memory stick my ex had, loads of images and videos in Cat A, the details of which were read out in court. I had no idea, thought we were a normal family. I will never get those images out of my head which is why I had to divorce him. I couldn't trust him and I could never live with him after seeing those images.

I also went to court and found out more about the evidence, couldn't believe the numbers of images, so shocked. We were together for 32 years, looking forward to retirement, the life that I thought I would have gone.

In a way though I am glad that I found the memory stick, else I dread to think what would have happened if I hadn't.

it is possible to start another new life, not the same, but a different start, we can get through this and it does make you stronger.

Bereft