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Child of offender now acting inappropriately online

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Devestatedmum

Member since
October 2022

40 posts

Posted Mon May 13, 2024 6:22pmReport post

The search history on the hidden phone my child had was awful multiple searches for incest porn. This is a phone I didn't know they had! I don't know what to say or do the social worker is off today. Child is 13 was 11 when dad was arrested at home after the knock. Has had no counselling. Didn't qualify as they weren't a direct victim apparently that was from the local sexual abuse services Out of education since the knock. Has asd and adhd diagnosis. I don't know what I do. The helplines closed.

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1005 posts

Posted Mon May 13, 2024 9:51pmReport post

Hi,

I couldn't read and not reply although I'm not actually sure what to say. It raises the questions of where he got the phone from and also what he understands of his dads arrest and offending behaviour.

His age and additional needs leave him vulnerable to searching for answers in the wrong places. If I was in your situation I'd probably do my best to let him know that he isn't in trouble but you need to talk to him about the phone and the searches. Sometimes when we approach things directly it can remove the mystery around them and provide our children with a safe environment to ask any questions they may have. Is incest porn a term he may have heard in terms of his dad's offending? Was he potentially looking for answers as to why what his dad did was wrong?
Try not to panic, I know our needs as a mother are to keep our children safe and set them on a better path. You can still do that. If you don't feel able to talk to him then talk to the sw tomorrow and ask for help with managing the situation. Love and strength xxx