Pregnant
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Eli, congratulations on the pregnancy!
From my point of view he's not a very kind person putting pressure on you to have an abortion.
You clearly want to keep the baby and that's fine.
You probably have to split up with your partner as you will both be resentful of each other.
It will be looked upon favourably by social services if you split up with somebody who's on the register.
I don't think you have to fear ss, they will see you as protective and support you in your decision to be a single mother.
Edit: If you have the child and stay with him, ss will be heavily involved in your life. It can be done, but the fact that he doesn't want the child makes an already very difficult situation so much more harder.
From my point of view he's not a very kind person putting pressure on you to have an abortion.
You clearly want to keep the baby and that's fine.
You probably have to split up with your partner as you will both be resentful of each other.
It will be looked upon favourably by social services if you split up with somebody who's on the register.
I don't think you have to fear ss, they will see you as protective and support you in your decision to be a single mother.
Edit: If you have the child and stay with him, ss will be heavily involved in your life. It can be done, but the fact that he doesn't want the child makes an already very difficult situation so much more harder.
Hi,
as you can probably tell from my username I was pregnant at the knock. I was 3 months and considered abortion because it was never the plan for me to be a single parent again. After lots of soul searching I decided that the majority of the reasons for planning the pregnancy still remained and I could do it by myself. As yours was a surprise I can imagine this has thrown up lots of feelings that you perhaps didn't know you had. My oldest was a surprise too and I found that although the pregnancy wasn't planned it was absolutely what I wanted.
The fact that your partner doesn't want a child at this point in his life coupled with the restrictions of his SHPO means that whatever decision you make must be yours and you need to be committed to life as a single parent. I echo what hp has said about his lack of support to you in this difficult situation and the resentment that this could lead to on both sides.
Being completely honest with you having experienced the breakdown of a relationship at the knock whilst pregnant and being a single parent is extremely challenging. I have chosen this life but it doesn't make it less challenging.
If you're in the early stages of pregnancy then you have some time to make decisions. I would advise though that should you wish to continue the pregnancy and end the relationship that you start taking steps towards that; looking for accommodation etc before your booking in appointment with the midwife as this is when you will have to disclose about your partner being on sor. Ss will then be informed so if you are already out of the relationship and separating your lives from each others then their involvement should be minimal. Also, ss involvement isn't always something to be feared. They can sometimes access or refer you to different programmes that may benefit you.
Sending you love and strength xxx
as you can probably tell from my username I was pregnant at the knock. I was 3 months and considered abortion because it was never the plan for me to be a single parent again. After lots of soul searching I decided that the majority of the reasons for planning the pregnancy still remained and I could do it by myself. As yours was a surprise I can imagine this has thrown up lots of feelings that you perhaps didn't know you had. My oldest was a surprise too and I found that although the pregnancy wasn't planned it was absolutely what I wanted.
The fact that your partner doesn't want a child at this point in his life coupled with the restrictions of his SHPO means that whatever decision you make must be yours and you need to be committed to life as a single parent. I echo what hp has said about his lack of support to you in this difficult situation and the resentment that this could lead to on both sides.
Being completely honest with you having experienced the breakdown of a relationship at the knock whilst pregnant and being a single parent is extremely challenging. I have chosen this life but it doesn't make it less challenging.
If you're in the early stages of pregnancy then you have some time to make decisions. I would advise though that should you wish to continue the pregnancy and end the relationship that you start taking steps towards that; looking for accommodation etc before your booking in appointment with the midwife as this is when you will have to disclose about your partner being on sor. Ss will then be informed so if you are already out of the relationship and separating your lives from each others then their involvement should be minimal. Also, ss involvement isn't always something to be feared. They can sometimes access or refer you to different programmes that may benefit you.
Sending you love and strength xxx