Family and Friends Forum

Galaxy123

Member since
April 2024

69 posts

Posted Wed May 15, 2024 5:38pmReport post

Today and yesterday, I've been struggling a lot. I feel very sad and extremely tired. It's so sad that I can't stop thinking about it all day. I'm glad I can go to work and do my tasks, but as soon as I'm not involved in a meeting, my mind goes back to that secret I'm carrying. Even at lunch with my colleagues i cannot sit down and eat with them for long because i get lost in my thoughts. If I'm not 100% focused on something, it's just there. I feel exhausted, and I'm less than two months into this, cannot image myself into this for years.

Inturmoil1974

Member since
November 2022

279 posts

Posted Wed May 15, 2024 5:45pmReport post

It is so draining I can totally empathise with you I feel like I have been running on adrenalin for 20 months we are past sentencing now and it's almost as if I am scared to slow down, oh really thinks I am heading for a heart attack, please be kind to yourself maybe even relaxing listening to a podcast may help a little

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

774 posts

Posted Wed May 15, 2024 6:09pmReport post

Hi Galaxy, you're post resonates with me and reminded me of how much I too struggled. It would be the first thing I'd think about when I woke up in the morning and the last thing I thought about as I fell asleep. In between that the feeling of dread was always there.
We are now post sentencing and I've had time to reflect on what helped me and what didn't. The first thing that helped my concentration was starting on medication for anxiety. This helped me sleep at night and also helped to to be more focused during the day. I also found joining some well being walks in nature helped me. The National Trust where I live facilitate guided well being walks which are free to non members.
I also found daily relaxation helped calm my mind for a short while. I used an app that would talk me through various relaxation techniques.
I found that taking a short walk away from my workplace during my lunch break helped as did having a friend I could meet up with for coffee and cake.
Taking a few days away helped me while I was away but as soon as I returned so did the feeling of dread.
I really tried to help myself feel better and the things I've mentioned did help with my resilience but didn't remove how I felt. The good news is that we are now 7 months post sentencing and despite all my fears coming true, I'm now doing well and so is my son.
I know it's hard but try different things to see if anything helps, you will get through this and one day your world will feel brighter again.

Edited Wed May 15, 2024 6:10pm

LittleRobin3

Member since
April 2024

288 posts

Posted Wed May 15, 2024 6:15pmReport post

Dearest Galaxy123,

Im sorry and I hear you.
I find, and I'm 7 years in to this and 2nd time round, that I have to take each hour, sometimes a few, at a time. I allow myself to relax slightly more at weekends because I think that the phone won't ring bringing bad news at the weekends. Someone once said to me to allow myself 20 minutes first thing or last thing or whenever works, to set aside for worries. That is your only allocated worry or sad time. The rest of the time you do not allow yourself to worry. I haven't managed to do it but I imagine if you could, it might work really well.
My ex said something to me recently that was actually quite helpful. I was worrying about the media thing (it's my main worry), and I was worried about how long he's going to get in prison etc. He said that when he goes for sentencing, that's the start of the end of this current nightmare. I've just about managed to wrap my head around that! All the very best to you. XX.

Galaxy123

Member since
April 2024

69 posts

Posted Thu May 16, 2024 11:50amReport post

Hello all,

thanks a lot for your advices and kind words. Sometime a message means so much and makes the whole process easier to face.

You cannot imagine how much your words help me to feel not alone.

Sending you a big hug

Overwhelmed49

Member since
April 2024

45 posts

Posted Thu May 16, 2024 12:07pmReport post

Galaxy xxx

I am also only 6 weeks into this. I am the same. I almost feel I'm not allowed to ever feel happy again with this new knowledge. It feels like it has infiltrated every part of my life and I can't escape from it.

You are not alone. Take time for yourself to get sad and angry if you need to x I'm sorry we are all going through this but, like you, is a massive help to know I'm not alone xx

Sending love x

Edited Thu May 16, 2024 12:39pm

Caggie164

Member since
October 2023

274 posts

Posted Thu May 16, 2024 1:08pmReport post

I can totally relate to everything here. I'm eight months in but a few weeks ago I woke up and it wasn't the first thing I thought about. It takes time but you will get to the point when it isn't the all consuming thing it is at the moment. Be kind to yourself x

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2556 posts

Posted Thu May 16, 2024 2:09pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sat May 18, 2024 6:32am

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Thu May 16, 2024 4:46pmReport post

Galaxy x

Huge hugs sent lovely, we can all totally understand how you are feeling, just be kind to yourself, its early days still so your body is still in shock, these emotions, feelings are completely normal unfortunately ,

We are here if you need us xx