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When does it get better

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Nen

Member since
May 2024

5 posts

Posted Wed May 15, 2024 10:41pmReport post

We are just finding it really hard to come to terms with having to watch son go to sentencing in six weeks time. Minimal number of images on phone non on every other device checked/ Autistic spectrum first offence ever. So scary and life changing for everyone. No one to talk to at work about it and all we ever talk about at home which drives me to despare after having to get through work every day in a stressful job. It's been 2 years 2 months since offence and 20months to get to court from the arrest. Son starting counselling next week hope this helps. We can't even talk to him like a neurotypical person we have to see if he is receptive to the conversation in the first place by judging what mood and where he is at in any particular day never mind when adding all this into the equation .

Edited Thu May 16, 2024 8:52am

K4

Member since
October 2022

611 posts

Posted Thu May 16, 2024 9:09amReport post

I can't speak from the perspective of a parent nor someone whose person is neurotic divergent, but things did get a lot easier after sentencing.



you just know what you're dealing with then and can start to plan.



Im sorry you're going through this. Have you sought external support yourself?



x

Sallyann

Member since
March 2024

8 posts

Posted Thu May 16, 2024 9:16amReport post

Hi. It's been 4 years since my sons offence of having material on his phone and we are 2 weeks away from sentencing. One of harder things is not being to talk about it outside of the home as you can't judge other people's reaction. I was horrified and disgusted myself and he's my son, has mental health problems so he is unaware most of the time of other peoples emotions. I hope when it's over there will be closure of some sort or at least the tramua part is over

Lola53

Member since
May 2021

269 posts

Posted Thu May 16, 2024 10:40amReport post

Hi Nen, I too am here because of my son and I can tell you that it definitely gets better. My son was given a community order but the sheer relief of it being over and, as K4 said, knowing what you're dealing with, is like a weight being lifted. The stress of the two years leading up to sentencing caught up with me a couple of months later and I went and spoke to a therapist, but was then able to move on.

Very best wishes x

LittleRobin3

Member since
April 2024

288 posts

Posted Thu May 16, 2024 10:42amReport post

Sally Ann. 4 years??! What on Earth! That's horrendous for you all. Xx

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

774 posts

Posted Thu May 16, 2024 4:00pmReport post

Hi Nen, I'm also here because of my son. For me it only started to get better once we had gone through sentencing and hit rock bottom. I did choose to tell a few people outside of the home but once it hit the media everyone found out any way. We are now 7 months post sentencing and life certainly seems brighter and I'm now starting to look forward to things again rather than dread any kind of social event.

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2556 posts

Posted Thu May 16, 2024 4:38pmReport post

Your post Ocean gives all of us the magic words: reassurance and hope x

Dad005

Member since
March 2024

49 posts

Posted Sun May 19, 2024 9:22amReport post

Hi,



I am also here because of my son. This awful journey is very hard to deal with at times.

My son is hard to talk to and similar to what you said, completely depending on his mood. He also has some mental health problems.

We are only just past sentencing and it really does feel like a weight has been lifted. He has also changed for the better with his moods and I think in some part has stopped feeling sorry for himself.



Hope things get better for you, take care x

Nen

Member since
May 2024

5 posts

Posted Sun May 19, 2024 11:12pmReport post

Thank you all for your kind words. I hope never to repeat this journey once it is finally over.