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My son is in court in 2 weeks and trying my best to keep rest of our family out of the media. Been told it's all down to if it's a slow news day etc in court. Any suggestions please? He has a younger brother at high school and trying to protect him. My offending son lives at a different address but our name is known locally a lot as we have a family business and really worrying myself sick about it
Hello,
Thank you for posting on the Family and Friends forum, we understand that it is not easy to post on a forum about these difficult situations. I can see that you have not yet had a reply on your post, hopefully someone else in a similar situation can reply soon with some support.
If you haven't already done so, I would also encourage you to contact our Stop it Now helpline. The helpline is anonymous, confidential and free, on 0808 1000 900. One of our trained advisors will then be able to explore your situation in detail and provide some support and do their best to answer your questions. Our trained advisors deal with similar concerns to yours every day and will be able to talk these through with you and offer you the best advice we can.
I hope this has been helpful.
Take care,
Lucy
Thank you for posting on the Family and Friends forum, we understand that it is not easy to post on a forum about these difficult situations. I can see that you have not yet had a reply on your post, hopefully someone else in a similar situation can reply soon with some support.
If you haven't already done so, I would also encourage you to contact our Stop it Now helpline. The helpline is anonymous, confidential and free, on 0808 1000 900. One of our trained advisors will then be able to explore your situation in detail and provide some support and do their best to answer your questions. Our trained advisors deal with similar concerns to yours every day and will be able to talk these through with you and offer you the best advice we can.
I hope this has been helpful.
Take care,
Lucy
Hi Sallyann, I'm not sure how we all missed your post and I'm sorry it's taken so long for you to receive a reply.
I don't really have very much help to give you as the media printed my son's case after both magistrates and crown court. We live in a small community and our local paper loves to print these type of cases so they always home in on them. Hopefully you're local paper have got more interesting news to report on and so leave you alone.
The only thing I can say is that nothing bad happened to my son as a result of it being published and that now everyone knows, he can be his authentic self and know that the people in his life are there because they want to be.
I'll be thinking of you all this week and hoping for the best possible outcome.
I don't really have very much help to give you as the media printed my son's case after both magistrates and crown court. We live in a small community and our local paper loves to print these type of cases so they always home in on them. Hopefully you're local paper have got more interesting news to report on and so leave you alone.
The only thing I can say is that nothing bad happened to my son as a result of it being published and that now everyone knows, he can be his authentic self and know that the people in his life are there because they want to be.
I'll be thinking of you all this week and hoping for the best possible outcome.
Sally x
So sorry you have had some late replys on your post ,
We have no say in the media if its reported or not unfortunately, I worried myself so much not because of my offending son but the repercussions for my other 2 adult children
Yes it hit the media, and it was reported beyond the actual truth , I and my other two have had no consequences , I over thought the what ifs, our brain is our own worst enemy at times
It's not easy but it just doesn't warrant our energy or time
I hope your case doesn't , or it does you will absolutely get through it , remember how far you have come x
So sorry you have had some late replys on your post ,
We have no say in the media if its reported or not unfortunately, I worried myself so much not because of my offending son but the repercussions for my other 2 adult children
Yes it hit the media, and it was reported beyond the actual truth , I and my other two have had no consequences , I over thought the what ifs, our brain is our own worst enemy at times
It's not easy but it just doesn't warrant our energy or time
I hope your case doesn't , or it does you will absolutely get through it , remember how far you have come x
I agree with my two friends here. I too was mortified when my sons case was in the media. I was terrified thinking of the consequences to us / by this time he was in prison, so away from it all.
But none of it happened, our friends and neighbours were SO supportive, we were so lucky. All that stress:worry, sleepless nights for nothing.
As we know, we enter this unknown journey - we really don't know what'll happen, most of it out of our control. Not easy but my advise is 'try your best' to not overthink it all and really to cope with each day as it happens. Even 'I' don't follow my own advice at times, I admit xxxx
But none of it happened, our friends and neighbours were SO supportive, we were so lucky. All that stress:worry, sleepless nights for nothing.
As we know, we enter this unknown journey - we really don't know what'll happen, most of it out of our control. Not easy but my advise is 'try your best' to not overthink it all and really to cope with each day as it happens. Even 'I' don't follow my own advice at times, I admit xxxx
I have found through past posts and from personal experience that most of the time, the backlash towards partners is worse than other family members. When it's your son, for the majority of people, love and support is unconditional no matter what. I think the backlash for partners/spouses after media is worse because we have a choice to continue to love and support them and when we choose todo so, a lot of people don't understand why.
My FM's case didn't go to court as he was very lucky to be offered a caution. We thought we had managed to avoid the media however a year after accepting the caution the papers picked up on him being removed from the social care register. The media article was not correct and stated he was still working as a care worker. He's hasn't work since it began 2 years ago but you can't do much about it. Luckily though no location was mentioned in the article so, so far it hasn't been picked up by local media thankfully but we are on tenterhooks as we know it could happen and are prepared if it does.
The article was printed on the 1st May and nobody has said anything. It is likely they haven't seen in. It was also on a news page on FB on the 4th May but there are no comments and just one share. The same reporter has published it in a few local news sites but those are down South and we are up North.
I have had bad anxiety all week however I am trying to tell myself those who mind don't matter and those who matter will hopefully offer support. The family member who saw the news report and alerted us to it has been great. She doesn't understand why but she still loves her brother
You can't control the media but you can control how it impacts you. I am trying very much to take this advice myself. We know it is always going to be on Google if anyone searches his name but how often do people search names. We might look at a name change if they end up moving and after his time on the SOR but we shall see as it's a year left and a lot can change. Todays news is tomorrow chip paper as they say.
The article was printed on the 1st May and nobody has said anything. It is likely they haven't seen in. It was also on a news page on FB on the 4th May but there are no comments and just one share. The same reporter has published it in a few local news sites but those are down South and we are up North.
I have had bad anxiety all week however I am trying to tell myself those who mind don't matter and those who matter will hopefully offer support. The family member who saw the news report and alerted us to it has been great. She doesn't understand why but she still loves her brother
You can't control the media but you can control how it impacts you. I am trying very much to take this advice myself. We know it is always going to be on Google if anyone searches his name but how often do people search names. We might look at a name change if they end up moving and after his time on the SOR but we shall see as it's a year left and a lot can change. Todays news is tomorrow chip paper as they say.
Some 18 months down the line I was contacted by an old friend. He was wondering how my person was and realised he was no longer on FB. So Googled him. It was the first thing that came up.