Family and Friends Forum

You've made a start by coming on here. The one place where you will be understood-the whole range of emotions that are all perfectly valid.

Please ring the helpline & they can help you in so many ways.

Hi, yes there is light at the end of the tunnel but getting there isn't easy. My son was sentenced last year for communication and incitement and received a 2 year suspended sentence.

Like your person my son had an addictive and impulsive personality and he also had extremely low self esteem. He has been seeing a psychotherapist since his arrest which has really helped him. He also did the LFF course and modules which again really helped.

As a result if his offending his marriage ended, he lost his job, his family life, his best friend and his home. He hit rock bottom.

He has now completed his community hours, has his children to stay at weekends with supervised contact and with the help and support of his probation officer is looking to the future.

The bottom fell out of my world when he was arrested but now after ongoing work on my mental health and well-being life is feeling brighter. It will never be the same as it was but we have learned to live day by day and make the most of the situation were in.

I can reassure you that life won't always feel this bad.

It affected what seems to be every facet of my life. I like it to dropping a pebble into a pond - the ripples just keep going. But maybe those ripples start to get smaller as time goes by.

It's absolutely natural to feel overwhelmed by the situation in the early days and in waves throughout this journey but it does get easier. I promise. Our knock came in 2021, sentencing 2023, he will be released from prison this month. Just to add to the fun he had a heart attack 2 weeks after sentencing. This journey has been one of the most traumatic events of my life but I have learned so much. I've developed more effective coping strategies, I've developed resilience and I've learned that I am stronger than I ever thought, I've learned that these offences are complex and not at all black and white. I've learned that our criminal justice system is not fit for purpose and that I no longer hold respect for the police. Most importantly I've learned that everything passes and that we have to accept that some things are beyond our control. The only control we have is over ourselves and our responses to events that unfold.

I thought my life was over and couldn't see a way through any of what lay ahead but here I am. I've been virtually supported by this community and I will be forever greatful. They will support you too.

You'll be ok x