Family court
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Has anyone had dealings with the family court ?
my ex partner is trying to get unsupervised access and was denied.
the judge didn't really give any reasons, even though he said it would undoable for my ex to be supervised the whole time he's got left on register (he's had 5 years of supervised already) but investigation took 4.. so has only been convinced for 1, so 9 years left..He sided with the social worker, who said they can't risk it. But they can't actually say what the risk is, bearing in mind his conviction isn't a contact offence, nor looking at anything, it's hard for me to say much else as the case would ifenfity us..
I obviously understand the need for protection, but I don't understand how other offences/ addictions eg drug / alcohol you can be deemed 'cured' but something like this, you won't ever be allowed?
my exes case is complicated but the issues around his conviction are very bizziare - the judge even commented the risk is low?! But still didn't allow even supported contact..
The person supervising is not happy and willing to carry on doing the contact for much longer, understandable as it's been 5 years of their life.. so now I'm worried about my children not seeing their dad.
I genuinely feel like what's the point.. I have tried to so hard to rebuild my life and the children's, but it seems at every opportunity it's turned into a negative and it never ends. There's always something try to stop me having some sort of life.. I love my children unconditionally, but I never set out for a life like this and the lack of support for me, or the children is shocking..
my ex partner is trying to get unsupervised access and was denied.
the judge didn't really give any reasons, even though he said it would undoable for my ex to be supervised the whole time he's got left on register (he's had 5 years of supervised already) but investigation took 4.. so has only been convinced for 1, so 9 years left..He sided with the social worker, who said they can't risk it. But they can't actually say what the risk is, bearing in mind his conviction isn't a contact offence, nor looking at anything, it's hard for me to say much else as the case would ifenfity us..
I obviously understand the need for protection, but I don't understand how other offences/ addictions eg drug / alcohol you can be deemed 'cured' but something like this, you won't ever be allowed?
my exes case is complicated but the issues around his conviction are very bizziare - the judge even commented the risk is low?! But still didn't allow even supported contact..
The person supervising is not happy and willing to carry on doing the contact for much longer, understandable as it's been 5 years of their life.. so now I'm worried about my children not seeing their dad.
I genuinely feel like what's the point.. I have tried to so hard to rebuild my life and the children's, but it seems at every opportunity it's turned into a negative and it never ends. There's always something try to stop me having some sort of life.. I love my children unconditionally, but I never set out for a life like this and the lack of support for me, or the children is shocking..
Hi,
I was hoping that someone would respond who has had actual experience of this. I don't think that the woman whose partner went to family court is on here anymore. I've not seen her post anything for some time.
Her partner was denied any access due to how long it had been since he had seen his children.
As your children have supervised contact obviously this doesn't apply in your case. Why did it end up in family court? Did he take you or ss to court? Has anyone done an independent risk assessment or won't they fund it due to you having custody?
There are lots of things to consider when looking at unsupervised contact; ages of your children and their developmental stages, can they do all of their own personal care? What work has your ex done to understand his offending and spot triggers if relevant? How do his offender manager and probation officer feel about unsupervised contact? xxx
I was hoping that someone would respond who has had actual experience of this. I don't think that the woman whose partner went to family court is on here anymore. I've not seen her post anything for some time.
Her partner was denied any access due to how long it had been since he had seen his children.
As your children have supervised contact obviously this doesn't apply in your case. Why did it end up in family court? Did he take you or ss to court? Has anyone done an independent risk assessment or won't they fund it due to you having custody?
There are lots of things to consider when looking at unsupervised contact; ages of your children and their developmental stages, can they do all of their own personal care? What work has your ex done to understand his offending and spot triggers if relevant? How do his offender manager and probation officer feel about unsupervised contact? xxx
Hello,
thank you for your reply!
we have twins and then our youngest who has never lived with him.. I was pregnant when the knock came , he wasn't allowed at birth etc because of lockdown so I was only allowed one birthing partner so no-one could supervise him (he would have left soon as I had given birth and he had cuddle / photos etc) but I got threatened with getting our twins taken away.. despite me ending the relationship soon as the knock happened..
I've had no involved with children's services since 2020 now.. they reffered me to early help which soon ended as was nothing to offer me and it was national lockdown so contact centres etc shut and his family member whose house he went to live with did contact. So he has seen them weekly since all of this happened, which has gone in his favour I'm guessing since what you've replied.
twins are 7 now and youngest is 4! What age do they tend to see children needing less care / help with their personal care?
it was him who took me to court, which again, I find odd as it's not my decision to give him unsupervised. I have to do what professionals tell me and I was told to only allow supervised unless he went to court..
I've never spoke to his probation officer, I literally get told nothing which I find the worst as they sitting there producing reports for court but can't tell me anything when I ask? His probabation officer has said he's working with them etc was positive ?
I don't know what to believe anymore.. but I just know my children will be devastated when the family members not doing contact anymore. I am allowed to do the contact, but I have so much anger still towards him for doing all this I'm not sure it's even a good idea, but we've always focused on the kids throughout this and tried to remain civil.. xxx
thank you for your reply!
we have twins and then our youngest who has never lived with him.. I was pregnant when the knock came , he wasn't allowed at birth etc because of lockdown so I was only allowed one birthing partner so no-one could supervise him (he would have left soon as I had given birth and he had cuddle / photos etc) but I got threatened with getting our twins taken away.. despite me ending the relationship soon as the knock happened..
I've had no involved with children's services since 2020 now.. they reffered me to early help which soon ended as was nothing to offer me and it was national lockdown so contact centres etc shut and his family member whose house he went to live with did contact. So he has seen them weekly since all of this happened, which has gone in his favour I'm guessing since what you've replied.
twins are 7 now and youngest is 4! What age do they tend to see children needing less care / help with their personal care?
it was him who took me to court, which again, I find odd as it's not my decision to give him unsupervised. I have to do what professionals tell me and I was told to only allow supervised unless he went to court..
I've never spoke to his probation officer, I literally get told nothing which I find the worst as they sitting there producing reports for court but can't tell me anything when I ask? His probabation officer has said he's working with them etc was positive ?
I don't know what to believe anymore.. but I just know my children will be devastated when the family members not doing contact anymore. I am allowed to do the contact, but I have so much anger still towards him for doing all this I'm not sure it's even a good idea, but we've always focused on the kids throughout this and tried to remain civil.. xxx
Hi,
I think you/him were perhaps given incorrect information regarding court. It seems like he should have taken ss to court as they're the ones objecting to unsupervised.
In terms of personal care I'd say they couldn't really argue it once the children are 8 unless their needs are more complex.
It's odd that ss didn't get back in contact after sentencing. In my opinion you now have two options but both involve ss coming back into yours and your children's lives. You/your ex can self refer or probation can put in a referral.
From this they'd potentially reassess the situation and get views from probation and offender manager. They're unlikely to fund an independent risk assessment but you could ask if they would accept it if your ex funded one himself. They do cost thousands though xxx
I think you/him were perhaps given incorrect information regarding court. It seems like he should have taken ss to court as they're the ones objecting to unsupervised.
In terms of personal care I'd say they couldn't really argue it once the children are 8 unless their needs are more complex.
It's odd that ss didn't get back in contact after sentencing. In my opinion you now have two options but both involve ss coming back into yours and your children's lives. You/your ex can self refer or probation can put in a referral.
From this they'd potentially reassess the situation and get views from probation and offender manager. They're unlikely to fund an independent risk assessment but you could ask if they would accept it if your ex funded one himself. They do cost thousands though xxx
Social services do not involve themselves in contact of children in cases where parents have separated.
Parents are advised to exercise their parental right & follow the safety plan & if a parent objects to the current access of the children, then they need to take it to family court.
In cases like this, the judge orders reports from Social services and CAFCASS may be involved.
They will also order info from the offender manager & probation & this is what the decision is made upon.
A supervised contact centre could be used ? However they can be expensive & it is down to the person who needs supervising to pay the charges.
Parents are advised to exercise their parental right & follow the safety plan & if a parent objects to the current access of the children, then they need to take it to family court.
In cases like this, the judge orders reports from Social services and CAFCASS may be involved.
They will also order info from the offender manager & probation & this is what the decision is made upon.
A supervised contact centre could be used ? However they can be expensive & it is down to the person who needs supervising to pay the charges.