Regarding my ex and our kids
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So I had a convo regarding him calling me asking for if I was free to talk.....
Around 8:30am this morning he was bien knocked v.loud and abruptly his words.... it was the main officer who had knocked at our family home bk in June 2022.... his in a area where his keeping himself to himself and his bien question on if friends with anyone where living his said no only that himself occasional talk with a female adult ( no kids there) and she may have to be informed of himself as he says needs to be done .....
Aswell as was asked if he watched porn and if so he can if wanted to on his device.... now to me that's something odd to say and sound like it's something that he wants him to do as to possibly trap him..... ( I may be overthinking) but as iv stated to him in regards of our children I don't think anything especially that needs watching if he wants any further contact with the kids as told him that it's something I don't want to think about if his near my kids..... ( so he has stated he doesn't want to or will he watch any....) iv told him that I won't have it so I'll leave it at that.... I'm not protecting him but curious if there was a reason why he was asked that or am I reading into something that isn't there....
Around 8:30am this morning he was bien knocked v.loud and abruptly his words.... it was the main officer who had knocked at our family home bk in June 2022.... his in a area where his keeping himself to himself and his bien question on if friends with anyone where living his said no only that himself occasional talk with a female adult ( no kids there) and she may have to be informed of himself as he says needs to be done .....
Aswell as was asked if he watched porn and if so he can if wanted to on his device.... now to me that's something odd to say and sound like it's something that he wants him to do as to possibly trap him..... ( I may be overthinking) but as iv stated to him in regards of our children I don't think anything especially that needs watching if he wants any further contact with the kids as told him that it's something I don't want to think about if his near my kids..... ( so he has stated he doesn't want to or will he watch any....) iv told him that I won't have it so I'll leave it at that.... I'm not protecting him but curious if there was a reason why he was asked that or am I reading into something that isn't there....
Hello,
Thank you for posting on the Family and Friends forum, we understand that it is not easy to post on a forum about these difficult situations. I can see that you have not yet had a reply on your post, hopefully someone else in a similar situation can reply soon with some support.
If you haven't already done so, I would also encourage you to contact our Stop it Now helpline. The helpline is anonymous, confidential and free, on 0808 1000 900. One of our trained advisors will then be able to explore your situation in detail and provide some support and do their best to answer your questions. Our trained advisors deal with similar concerns to yours every day and will be able to talk these through with you and offer you the best advice we can.
I hope this has been helpful.
Take care,
Lucy
Thank you for posting on the Family and Friends forum, we understand that it is not easy to post on a forum about these difficult situations. I can see that you have not yet had a reply on your post, hopefully someone else in a similar situation can reply soon with some support.
If you haven't already done so, I would also encourage you to contact our Stop it Now helpline. The helpline is anonymous, confidential and free, on 0808 1000 900. One of our trained advisors will then be able to explore your situation in detail and provide some support and do their best to answer your questions. Our trained advisors deal with similar concerns to yours every day and will be able to talk these through with you and offer you the best advice we can.
I hope this has been helpful.
Take care,
Lucy
I appreciate your support and I'm unsure of whom to talk with I am going to say that it's just a unsure of what I should do I just want to be able to do ryt as my soul responsibility as a mom to our children.....but I'm just so untrusting about whom I can get advice on things why I go on here because of the ppl able to share thier own troubles it just seems unfair that we have to go online wen there should be some sort of protocol for us in the wake of the mess-up we didn't ask for but sadly found out we were living with predators for our children we only ever want them safe but we as parents too want them to have a spose I can only say normality if they choose to have him in our lives but allot of hoops are jumped but never always will have a good experience nobody would in this.... I just wanted to say thanks again for your time to reply it's appreciated......
Hi,
I had a similar experience with my partners offender manager not just asking about porn but almost actively encouraging it. Apparently there are split views amongst professionals over abstinence vs retraining the brain when it comes to watching porn. For both of us it doesn't sit right with everything that has happened and he hasn't watched anything since his arrest almost four years ago xxx
I had a similar experience with my partners offender manager not just asking about porn but almost actively encouraging it. Apparently there are split views amongst professionals over abstinence vs retraining the brain when it comes to watching porn. For both of us it doesn't sit right with everything that has happened and he hasn't watched anything since his arrest almost four years ago xxx
I've just asked my son and he said that asking if the person watches porn is a fairly standard question. He chooses not to watch it but that's his own choice,
His said that he won't watch porn all he says over and over again is he wants his life bk and I'm saying that he can't because it was broken in his arrest and I want to only be civil for our kids..... I'm never going to find someone else to fall in love with me and I them..... just don't think I could really trust another person so I'm going to stay strong as I can be for my kids... they accept that we will be thier for them as parents...... I'm never going to regret that we had three children together but that is as much as we did good.....I'm just hoping that he will move on if possible and I hope that will not be any further than that if he were to redo it be no more than a final decision to end all ties..... his on 2 years probation and has a po to be able to say his on a register...... but thanks for your time to reply.....
Following the arrest I felt all trust had gone. I believe he has/had a porn addiction - which might be true - but to me it seems like a cop out as to why he went down this rabbit hole. Looking at extreme porn whilst I was asleep in the same house. To be that is hugely disrespectful and I finally came to the decision that I deserve better than that. He says he hasn't looked at porn since the knock. But the damage had been done.
Following the arrest I felt all trust had gone. I believe he has/had a porn addiction - which might be true - but to me it seems like a cop out as to why he went down this rabbit hole. Looking at extreme porn whilst I was asleep in the same house. To be that is hugely disrespectful and I finally came to the decision that I deserve better than that. He says he hasn't looked at porn since the knock. But the damage had been done.